We may well be looking at a mixed disorder.

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Littleboylost, Apr 7, 2018.

  1. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Hi to all;

    It has been a very exhausting month. My son has remained at rehab. He is attending school and participating to his best capacity with the program.
    We have obtained a Power of Attorney for finance to sort out some minor outstanding financial issues with a small pay day loan and an over draft in his bank account.

    He continues to want to have contact with his girl friend and his girlfriend and her mother keep on pushing for contact.

    He has been allowed one phone call to her over Easter for 5 minutes monitored.

    I do hope this fizzles out over time.

    Now for the bigger issue at hand. His behaviour remains strange even for a recovering addict. His primary counsellor is a wise and dedicated person. She does believe he may have a mixed mental health disorder with addiction, and is making arrangements for a comprehensive assessment.

    The suspicion is Boarderline Personality Disorder. When you see the general defining points:

    characterized by unstable relationships with other people, unstable sense of self, and unstable emotions. There is frequent dangerous behavior and self-harm. People may also struggle with a feeling of emptiness and a fear of abandonment. Symptoms may be brought on by seemingly normal events. The behavior typically begins by early adulthood, and occurs across a variety of situations. Substance abuse, depression, and eating disorders are commonly associated with Borderline (BPD).

    It fits to a T.

    His fabrications and lies are very outlandish. His emotions are all over the place up and down on a daily basis. More than what would be considered normal at this time.

    Needless to say I was devastated with this news. I am trying to stay focused and positive.

    The plan is to have a comprehensive assessment by a proper team of experienced psychologists and psychiatry. IF he requires treatment at a mixed disorders clinic they will keep his bed at the residential rehab so he can return to it once he is stabilized.

    We have a meeting with his care team on Wednesday to discuss the care plan moving forward.

    When does this misery and sadness end.
     
  2. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    I am sorry for the bad news you have received but at least he is dealing with people who are working to find the best solution for him. He seems like he is currently on a path to getting the help he needs. Please stay strong. I see some positives in this post. My son was diagnosed and then sent to jail because of his behavior at the hospital so is not getting the help he needs. He is 36 and it does feel like it never ends. I hope that your son continues to get good help and is able with counseling and medication to become the best person he can. That is all we can hope for.
     
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  3. Lost in sadness

    Lost in sadness Active Member

    I am so sorry to hear this LBL! At least he is in a place where there is help. Usually this diagnosis remains untreated in many people for many years and they continue to suffer. Your son has a good chance of being given the skills to manage this.
    Stay strong, you are not alone. Xxx
     
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Hugs. He has a lot to overcome. He is definitely where he needs to be. Try not to let this consume you.
     
  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LBL, just a word of caution......I have been dealing with mental illness for my entire life....and diagnoses are very, very difficult......mental illness is often a constellation of various problems which makes diagnosis extremely problematic. My relatives have so many diagnosis, it's incredible...and when drugs have been involved it takes a long time to make any kind of clear diagnosis.

    I'm not disputing what you've been told, I'm just suggesting that you don't wrap your emotions around this now..... when as time passes, it may change to something else. All the information is not in yet. Try to remain as neutral as you can during this stage.....it can be a long process with many shifts and changes along the way.......stay here in the present moment....things will evolve.....it's scary to hear that stuff.....don't scare yourself.....he's safe in a positive environment where he'll be cared for. You can trust yourself to handle whatever happens. Look what you've done already!

    Sending big hugs. This is so hard on our Mom hearts.....be so very kind to yourself.
     
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  6. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Thanks R/E I did go down the rabbit hole a bit with this news. To be honest I had a sense a mother’s gut if you will that there was more to his story than drugs.

    He is in a safe place and will get the evaluations he requires. The behaviours are indeed strange and obvious. The behaviours have no doubt been made worse by the drug use. I honestly think I saw these behaviours in early adolescence and when we found the drugs we just assumed it was drug use, now I am quite sure his behavioural changes may well have come prior to the drug use.

    What ever the case may be your right today is today and for today he is safe well and getting the care he needs.
     
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  7. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    LBL, I am so sorry for this news. A diagnosis of a serious mental illness is devastating. We are facing a similar crossroads with YS who is suspected of potentially having bipolar disorder...a diagnosis I personally feel is accurate.

    I am glad that E is in a secure setting where he can be evaluated and a treatment plan developed. Then it will be up to him to follow it - for life.

    Many persons with mental illness self-medicate with illegal drugs, we suspect this is what DS has done as he refuses all prescription medication for his depression and anxiety.

    Like you with E, I believe YS' mental illness began long before we got word that the professionals were considering the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I believe his suicide attempt was the first real indicator.

    I will continue praying for you and your family. Keep us posted and hang on. Every individual is different and mental illness is not a death sentence.
     
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  8. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    LBL

    I agree with Recovering Enabler 100% on this one. I have tried to say as much to you too separately.

    Please try to stay neutral and don't let guilt get in the way. You have nothing to be guilty for.

    You have fought like hell for your son and you will continue to do so.

    :staystrong::group-hug:
     
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  9. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Well, that is difficult news to swallow. I am sorry for your heartache LBL. You have been a champion for your son through all of the ups and downs and sideways of this journey. Now you are at a sort of crossroads that we never reached with my two. There is no doubt in my mind that there was something other than drug use going on, moreso now that it has led them to the dire straights they are living at the present.
    So, I look at this as a good thing for E. He is getting the help he needs. Who knows if it is a biological issue, or chemically exacerbated by his experimenting with substances? I have read that it can take up to a year to achieve balance after drug use. Maybe more with a younger brain?
    Whatever the case may be, he is where he needs to be and if willing, can begin to find answers beyond self medicating.
    Swot and many others have proven that with determination, one can overcome this challenge.
    It is something no parent wants to hear, and I am sure it knocked the wind out of you. I feel for you dear. I am so sorry for your heartache.
    There is somewhat of a silver lining to finding answers and treatment and hoping upon hope that your son take those steps towards proper care and lifts himself up and out of the drug haze.
    It is imperative for you and him, I am convinced of this, that you and your dear husband in a united front work just as hard, if not harder, at living a full life, taking good care of each other and yourselves. This is a tough battle, you are seasoned warriors.
    Although it is difficult to lift ourselves up when deep in the trenches, it is so vital to your well being.
    Make time to do things for you, and each other. Stay strong dear friend. One day, one step, even one little moment, one breath, at a time.
    (((Hugs)))
    Leafy
     
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  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with RE. It is very hard to distinguish between mental illness and addictive behaviors. My daughter was diagnosed with something different every time she went to a new rehab . . . including borderline personality disorder.

    I went down the rabbit hole, too. I even took a 12-week NAMI course on Borderline (BPD). I was convinced that my daughter had it because she displayed all of the behaviors you mentioned. In fact, in a way it made things easier for me because I was able to blame her addictions on mental illness rather than parenting or family dynamics.

    Guess what? She finally got sober and all of the Borderline (BPD) behaviors disappeared. The interventionist we used told us that in her experience 80% of mental illness symptoms disappeared with sobriety.

    I am not saying that your son does not have Borderline (BPD) or any other mental illness. I am just saying not to rush into anything at this point. Your son is very newly sober and it takes a long while for addictive behaviors to go away even with sobriety. The term dry drunk means that a person can be sober and still display the behaviors of an alcoholic.

    Hang in there and wait to see what develops.

    ~Kathy
     
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  11. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    I agree with what the others have said. When my son was in the throes of his addiction, his social worker recommended a full neuropsychologist workup because he suspected some underlying more serious issues. Once son got some sober time behind him, the issues resolved on their own. It takes a LONG time for the effects of drugs to wear off and for an addict to develop appropriate emotional responses after using drugs to shield themselves for so long. As hard as it is, try to sit back and give it time.

    On the plus side, if his stay at the mixed disorders clinic gets him away from Cop Mom and her daughter, that's probably for the best!
     
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  12. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    LBL it has been awhile since you posted, I hope all is going well.
    (((Hugs)))
    Leafy
     
  13. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Hi all

    A very happy Memorial Day to all my American friends on here. Well we have had excellent progress reports and son is progressing well in his program. He is doing well at school and is now mentoring a new boy why has arrived at the program.

    We have him home for his first 24 hour leave and it has gone far better than I expected. girlfriend and copmom remain in the picture much to our disappointment. There were very tense moments as girlfriend was insisting that they spend time alone, which wasn’t happening. A lot of anxiety and fear from us as we are making him accountable for his decisions and not telling him what to do. To our surprise he took a step back, calmed down and spoke to girlfriend outlining what his leave contract looked like and invited her to join us at the movies. She did join us. TBH she stayed overnight......better here than at her drug den. Progress not perfection. He has been calm and collected and very mature.
    His counselor said last week that the HVAC Tech offered Evan a job as he thought Evan was the grounds keeper. Evan told him he was in the program. He went in and told the staff what a hard worker he was left his card and said he’d still offer him a job when he is done with the program. Nice!! It been a great week and a great first 24. Hour leave.
     
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  14. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    That is great congratulations!
     
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  15. strangeworld

    strangeworld Member

    Wow LBL, I am really happy for you and your family! So nice to read good news here. It must make your son feel great to be acknowledged for his behavior, mentorship and to think he could even work there. What a self worth and esteem boost! So often I think kids get in so deep...or so lost...that they start thinking they ARE their problems and don't realize or maybe just forget how capable they are and that they can contribute to this world somehow. Thanks for continuing to update us here. Wishing your son continued forward momentum and progress!
     
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  16. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    LBL

    So happy that E is turning over a new leaf! I know that you are beyond thrilled with his progress. I do pray that he stays on this current path.

    We have to take the good days and rejoice!