OK, my question is coming from perhaps a different cultural environment - but Shari, is it appropriate for you to ask WHY the school feels it is relevant or appropriate to have their lawyer present? What does the school say is the purpose of having a lawyer present?
If they insist that their lawyer's presence is necessary, I would be insisting on the meeting being openly recorded, so both sides can have a true record of all discussions openly on the table. Surely there should be no objection from either side, of all openness? And if the lawyer is the one objecting - the question comes back to: who is he, and why does he have a right to attend what is only supposed to be a Learning Team meeting? He is not a member of the Learning Team.
Of course, we can privately guess why the school wants their lawyer present - they're gearing up to be obstinate. But I feel perhaps the starting point is - sir, you have nothing to do with the special needs of my son, you bring no Special Education expertise to the table.
Something I've done for years, Shari, with this sort of meeting - even if I can't record it, I take minutes. Detailed ones. I type very fast so I take a laptop in with me and take notes as I go. Often I add my own private analysis (in square brackets or between other easy to access but unusual characters, so I can find them easily later on). I will also offer my minutes to the school (minus my private square bracket notes). There was one occasion where I was sitting typing on my laptop, but I had secretly also set SoundStudio to record, from my laptop. It was not visible on the desktop. However, since at that meeting I was the one doing the talking, that was about all I recorded - my own voice, and the other blokes saying, "We'll look into it and get back to you."
Mind you - if you illicitly record the meeting (as I did that time) you can never use the recording as evidence in any way. However, I was known to be typing my own notes through the meeting and was using my recording to confirm what I wrote down. My notes would have been able to be presented if necessary.
I've also grabbed paper of any kind to make notes on. A very important (it turned out) phone call re difficult child 3 came in on my mobile while I was in a shoe store - I think I grabbed the paper bag my shopping had been put in, and wrote my notes with an eyeliner pencil! Those notes were vital, I had to be sure I had accurately written down what the other person said, so I could quote them back at her when she later tried to deny it.
Notes are important. If you're in a meeting and taking notes, and things seem to be moving too fast, ask them to wait while you complete your notes. If they get impatient with this, tell them that a faster alternative would be to allow you to record the meeting. Their choice.
Shari, I wish I could go with you as advocate/note taker. But there's a flamin' great ocean in the way!
Marg