Well, Now I know where his head is

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Mar 7, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Right now it's on the way to the police station to get booked for going into a shed with a friend. difficult child is on probation with a suspended sentence totalling many months plus deferment of two felonies from his 2 hour crime spree last March. No offenses or even breaking one rule of probation since then- until today. So, I guess last night was my "chance" to notice if this was going into mania or not. I really don't know.

    They told me it would take 45 mins-1 hour to book him so come down later to see if he's going to get released. I called the GAL and left a message. They all know he has a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis (even though questionable). My guess is- he's going to be locked up for a long time. If not, he probably won't be able to handle his only true best friend never being allowed to hang out with him again and then he will surely flip and do God knows what.

    How can he do so well for so many months then go out in the rain to go into a shed for God's sake- what could be in there to make it worth the price he will have to pay now? All the fight I have been through for nothing. The boys were just here in my house playing 2 hours ago. And now, it is gone.
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    The old "what in the WORLD were you thinking" feeling. Know it well. So sorry his head was where it shouldn't have been. Sending hugs for you. Let us know what happens.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I'm really sorry.

    Maybe I'm not getting the full picture, but what is the charge for hanging out in a shed? Why would he be locked up for a long time? He's only 13.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    Hon - I am SO SO sorry. I'm sure the thoughts of "well if he's in Juvenille lock up -he may finally get the picture" or "It may do him good" or "At least you will know where he is" comes to mind for anyone who has struggled as long as you have with difficult child.

    Who knows what was in the shed - who knows why they ever got a dumb idea to go in there - maybe it's theft, maybe it's trespassing - don't know and it doesn't matter if he's violated probation.

    WHat I do know is that if you feel you have fought the good fight and have no more fight left in you - then I'm behind you. If you feel there is more that you could do to help - then I'm behind you. If you just want to sit and cry, need a hug or a kleenex - I'm right beside you.

    I'm so sorry - you're right - it does not make any sense - our kids rarely do. The only thing consistant about them are their inconsistancies.

    Sending you loads of hugs - And good thoughts. Let us know when you can how it all went.

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry. It doesn't make any sense. Gentle hugs.
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    They let him come home. They said he was two points away from being kept so it was a good thing thing that he had followed every rule so well since last year's arrest. The policeman also said that both boys say neither went through a window- they just walked up to the shed and opened the door, but that the person who called the police said she saw one of them going through a window. It was dusk and rainy and the witness was probably about 100 ft. away (they pointed out to me the shed that sat far back in a yard)- so who knows. They didn't take anything but were both charged with B&E with intent to commit larceny (cop said that was standard for B&E). The friend had never had a single charge before. He was shaking. difficult child and I looked too much like experts at this. So, he will go to court later in the year and maybe get sentenced to at least 6 mos in juvy. And, this was a felony charge on top of the two he has on deferment now. We were planning on going out of state for spring break. PO may pull that. I already told difficult child that he is more than a little grounded for a very long time.

    I saw last night that he was not using good rational thinking. I know our difficult child's don't - that is why we are here. But I just keep racking my brain- what could I have done. psychiatrist would have just said it's a blip if I'd called. He didn't qualify for an acute psychiatric hospital- and that thought didn't even cross my mind because it wasn't to that point. It's like he just threw rational thinking out the window. This is the third year in a row- no problems before then. But every time, it has happened between the holidays and spring break and he's like a typical kid (I won't go so far as to say easy child) the other months of the year. psychiatrist has mentioned adhd, but I swear I don't think adhd can flip on and off like a switch like this does.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Bless you, Star !! Thank all of you for your support! Mstang- yep, that thought has gone through my mind!! I guess he just quit thinking.

    Smallworld, on his 2 hour crime spree last year he racked up 7 charges (in less than 2 hours) and 2 were felonies. This is why the psychiatrist thought his recent increase in prozac had made him manic. The courts though thought something horrible must be going on at home, so we have been through the wringer this past year. He is sceduled to go to court in June to put that to rest. However, now, who knows what will happen.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. You and he have been working so hard. It really hurts when they do things like this.

    Be gentle to yourself. You have had a hard enough time. You know, and we know, it is NOT your fault.

    I did have the thought that maybe something happened to him when he was younger about this time of year? Something before he could talk, or that he just can't talk about? Just throwing out ideas. It would most likely be something at daycare, or a relatives house? I have no idea what, but it sure seems to be this time of year. And he really self sabotages.

    I would think any abuse would have consequences all year long. I am JUST throwing out ideas. Maybe a hypnotist could help??? We have a former therapist who used some hypnosis on Jess, was really helpful in dealing with some stress. Not for everything, nor for everyone.