Well we now can see...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mrscatinthehat, Jan 29, 2008.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    some of what is going to happen with difficult child 2.

    We went to visit him yesterday. This was the first actual visit at the detention center that they have been holding him in. Not exactly a fun moment to say the least. Then we talked with T. From what I am gathering from him he is looking forward to his move to the next placement. I use that term loosely. He has read their handbook and "knows" how so much is going to work. :future:He was talking of his GED. I had been contributing only nominally to this visit as my stomach was doing the unhappy dance and I didn't want to be trapped in a locked room and have to purge on the floor. When he mentioned GED that got my attention. I asked if he thought he would not be attending school there. He said he didn't know but that most "guys" that go there just get their GEDs. I said I see and left it at that. Then he told husband that he can take drivers ed there so that when he comes home he will get his license. I didn't say anything but thought to myself I didn't know he was coming to my home again. :hammer:

    Well today we met with the JCO. We asked about where he was going. And were told that he was going where we didn't want him to go. Ok. We were told they have a very good program there for what T needs. Ok. Then the guy wanted background. I smiled looked at husband and started rambling essentially. He would ask for fill in information here and there. But truthfully the best parts were when we could make this man speechless. Then get the did that really happen questions to follow. I asked if he had gotten the information from dhs yet. He said no. I said it should all be in there.

    He told us of Tourette's Syndrome visit with him. That T expects to be home soon and working with husband and husband's brother. I found that amusing. I don't know why. :holymoly:

    He did inform us we are a minority on how involved we are and still plan to be. That most parents do just walk away. (That certainly wasn't new.)

    So when we go to court on the 7th of February they will send T to his new place. I doubt it will accomplish anything but hey who am I. T thinks he can just "do his time" and then be home. He really doesn't think that there will be treatment this go around.

    The one thing that bothered me some was the JCO saying that it was too early to talk about when T turns 18. T will be 15 in March. That is three years. I don't want it to get here and then have someone say blam there he is you get him back. Not gonna happen with the way I am currently looking at things.

    About the one positive I can say is that this is a locked facility. We will have to wait and see how things go when he gets there. The will send us a package of information after he gets there on what will be expected of us etc. I am not real excited about this new chapter but will be interested to see how the pages turn.

  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Beth, thanks for the update. I had been wondering how it was going. You must have found a cast iron stomach on that visit to hold everything in-

    At least something is "moving". Why didn't you want T to go to that facility? Can you meet with anyone there and try to put some concerns to rest? Do you know yet exactly what their program is?

    You are doing an amazing job hanging in there through all this- I commend you! They probably are used to most parents "disappearring" in situations like this. T is very lucky to have you around- unfortunately, it doesn't sound like the reality of everything has hit him yet, though.

    {{{HUGS}}} - keep us posted!
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Iron stomach... hang in there. It is nice that you have not abandoned him. Hard as it is.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Just sending supportive hugs and prayers your way:angel2:
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sending hugs your way! Sounds like he isn't in touch with reality. It will probably rear up and bite him, but that may be what he needs. I hope not.

    I hope this place is better than you imagined.

    He is very lucky to have you. It is true that most parents disappear. When my difficult child was in the psychiatric hospital, they told us that most kids don't have visitors except every couple of weeks (not every couple of days) and at least half have to go to group homes or foster homes because when they are being discharged no one shows up!!!!!!!

    It is horrifying how many kids are just dumped onthe system and then walked away from.

    As I said, he is lucky.