Hi there.
I have been dealing with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) for sixteen years and I will give you my honest opinion. I do not think it is what everyone would do, nor do I think it's the only solution, but it is how I would handle it, based on my beliefs about Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD).
To me, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is being wired differently. Many parents, and this is ok, feel it is mandatory to make the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child "pass" as "typical" to do well in life. And I feel that many Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids WANT to know how to be "typical" at least on the surface as I don't feel they really are underneath. Some are more motivated and try very hared. My son is clearly different at home, but maintains well in public and saves his most quirky behavior for us at home. I think it is very hard for him to be "typical" 24/7. It is a stress, and he is NOT particularly comfortable with people and social situations.
My son is totally disinterested in certain "typical" behaviors. In certain areas he has learned a lot. Other social norms he finds "stupid." I can't change that. I can't make him care about what clothes he wears or if he listens to the latest "in" music. I can't force him to learn how to easily have a give-and-take conversation. That is never going to happen. He will be quiet unless he is talking about his obsessive interest.
My son has learned how greet people, to say "please" and "thank you", to be helpful in school, to be quiet in school, and to control his temper. He wanted to learn these things or nothing on earth could have made him. But when he thinks a social norm is "stupid" or he's not interested, nothing changes that. And we accept his difference.
Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is a difference and not all Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids can turn into adults who can navigate easily in a typical world. My son is doing well, but we still can see that he may need some help as an adult, although we don't know for sure (Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids mature very late). In a rare t herapy session we took son to last year with an autism specialist who explained his disability to my son, he asked if he is upset by the way he is. His answer was, "No. I like how I am. No, I don't want to change. I don't care if I'm different." Not all Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids WANT to change and many get irritated when people try to change them. Many adult Aspies are angry that parents tried to change them.There is a site called "Wrong Planet" that may be under construction, but it's very good and for adult PDDers. Reading their take on things is eye-opening and fascinating.
I would not, if this were my child, push anything that he doesn't want to learn or is hostile toward. When/if he is ready he will seek this out on his own or ask for help from you. Many Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids think social stories are "stupid."
The unacceptable behaviors that may hurt others are what I'd be most concerned about, if this were my child. However, often Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids outgrow these behaviors. My son was a toddler hellion and he is the sweetest boy in the world now, if a bit different.
This is an area you have to decide for yourself. How important is it to you? Is there another way to teach him certain things? Is he simply frustrated because social skills are so hard for him? Does he understand he is being rude? Has he EVER had a neuropsychologist evaluation to see where his deficits lie and how "out of it" he is, as far as social skills? I would do that...it helped us a lot.
I wish you lots and lots of luck whatever you decide.And here's something to keep in mind: The average Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child does not really mature to his highest level until he is 25-30
. They have a developmental delay, even if they are brilliant, but many come around later rather than sooner.