In reading and responding to Hound Dog's "WoW" post, I realize that I am really, really angry when it comes to difficult child 1.
It's not the kind of anger that seeps into everything and disrupts my normal routine, since I don't have to deal with her on a regular basis. However, every time I think about her, the choices she has made, the b.s. she continues to exude, etc., I get so incredibily angry I just want to scream.
As I mentioned in my response to Hound Dog, part of what makes it easier to stay uninvolved is the fact that I honestly don't think I could be around difficult child 1 and still be able to resist the urge to just slap the snot out of her.
I've never been a violent person. I've never been the type of parent to hit my kids. Especially given difficult child 2's history with violent outbursts, even if I did believe in spanking, it would never have been an option. (You can't teach a child not to hit if you're hitting them as discipline.) However, when it comes to difficult child 1, I swear I just want to smack her. It's like an uncontrollable, knee-jerk reaction. She starts her mouthing off and lies, and I just want to slap her silly.
I don't. I never have. But the urge gets stronger every time I see her...which is a big part of why I don't go around her...ever. I've only seen her once in the last year and a half or so. When it got to that point, I came inside the house and closed the door. The boys finished talking to her, then came inside. I didn't even say good bye to her. I'm afraid one of these days she'll push just the right button and I'll just lose it completely.
So what do you do with the anger that sits there? Like I said, it's not something that's an every day thing...only when I think about difficult child 1. So long as I don't have to think about her, I don't feel angry. But as soon as the subject comes up...I get angry and ill-spirited. What do you do with that? Does it eventually go away?
It's not something I'm overly concerned about, since it's not really affecting my day-to-day life. However, I'd like to get to a point where just hearing her name or seeing her picture doesn't get me po'ed.
It's not the kind of anger that seeps into everything and disrupts my normal routine, since I don't have to deal with her on a regular basis. However, every time I think about her, the choices she has made, the b.s. she continues to exude, etc., I get so incredibily angry I just want to scream.
As I mentioned in my response to Hound Dog, part of what makes it easier to stay uninvolved is the fact that I honestly don't think I could be around difficult child 1 and still be able to resist the urge to just slap the snot out of her.
I've never been a violent person. I've never been the type of parent to hit my kids. Especially given difficult child 2's history with violent outbursts, even if I did believe in spanking, it would never have been an option. (You can't teach a child not to hit if you're hitting them as discipline.) However, when it comes to difficult child 1, I swear I just want to smack her. It's like an uncontrollable, knee-jerk reaction. She starts her mouthing off and lies, and I just want to slap her silly.
I don't. I never have. But the urge gets stronger every time I see her...which is a big part of why I don't go around her...ever. I've only seen her once in the last year and a half or so. When it got to that point, I came inside the house and closed the door. The boys finished talking to her, then came inside. I didn't even say good bye to her. I'm afraid one of these days she'll push just the right button and I'll just lose it completely.
So what do you do with the anger that sits there? Like I said, it's not something that's an every day thing...only when I think about difficult child 1. So long as I don't have to think about her, I don't feel angry. But as soon as the subject comes up...I get angry and ill-spirited. What do you do with that? Does it eventually go away?
It's not something I'm overly concerned about, since it's not really affecting my day-to-day life. However, I'd like to get to a point where just hearing her name or seeing her picture doesn't get me po'ed.