What, if anything, could he be charged with?

[Shari]

easy child 1 is prepping for the Thanksgiving. He is getting his facts together to support his decision to avoid the in-laws. We are certain he will be asked, and he wants to be prepared.

Back when husband's nephew got drunk and hit a parked car, then gave the owner easy child 1's name as his own - some say that is identify theft. I am not certain, tho I'm sure it wasn't legal. Does anyone know if nephew could have been charged with something based on that, and what it could have been?

 

[everywoman]

The fact that he used easy child's name could rack up a number of charges. One is id theft, another is providing false information--there could be criminal as well as civil charges filed.

 

[Shari]

easy child isn't pressing charges, but he wants to use what charges could have been pressed to drive home his point that he is justified in refusing to spend time there.

He hopes that this is "big enuf" that they will truly see and understand why he doesn't want to be there; not just that he's throwing a fit and refusing to come. While I doubt it works, I applaud his effort to at least tell them point blank instead of skating around the issues. He plans to approach it something to the effect of "I'm not coming, and this is why. If you make different choices, I will have different reactions."

 

[Lothlorien]

husband used to work for a police dept....I'll ask him. I'm sure it varies from state to state. easy child shouldn't even have to worry about that. If I were nephew's family, I'd be racked with guilt and humiliation. I'd be very grateful that easy child didn't press charges.

Has nephew ever apologized yet?

 

[susiestar]

I imagine the charges will be different in different areas. If he really needs to know exactly, he should call the police or an attorney in your area.

What happened to "I've already made other plans." with no other explanations? Anything he says is going to make a big conflama from them, simply because everytime you or one of yours sets up a boundary or limit your in-laws make a huge conflama. What does your husband say about it? Why isn't the explanation that they abused your son's identity and you will be spending the holidays at home this year?

I applaud your son for wanting to create a boundary between these people and himself.

 

[witzend]

It could be providing false information. I know that there are a number of prisoners in our jails who are "AKA's" because they give false names when they are arrested, and that is what they are charged under. There used to be people who got off because they had named the wrong person in the charge. The laws here have been changed to allow that "this particular crime" was committed by "that particular human", usually identified by the fingerprints. Their name is irrelevant.

I'm not quite remembering the situation as to why he is avoiding the in-laws because of this. Is it that the think he did it himself, or is the nephew related somehow? My in-laws wouldn't even know my neices if I explained it to them.

If it's an issue with the in-laws for some reason, would probably just tell them point blank before someone was wondering why I hadn't said something about it. Everyone understands rotten relatives who do rotten things, like your nephew. It doesn't make anyone other than the nephew rotten. But maybe I'm missing a piece of the picture?

 

[Shari]

Nope, still no apology. And nephew doesn't come too close to me, but he will come around husband.
***
Nephew is the grandson of my in-law's. The in-laws (Two Brooms and company) are the ones who treat me and my kids like dirt. husband, nephew, and easy child 2 are the "golden children" and do no wrong. I had already toyed with the idea of boycotting holidays there, but its past toying now. I said my piece to them over a year ago when Two Brooms went behind our backs and helped easy child 2 hide new clothes she wasn't supposed to have yet. I put the ball in their court, and they chose not to play. I am not getting involved with this other than, if need be, I will say I support easy child 1's decision because I agree with him. Nephew is learning to walk on us, in part, because that's what his grandparents are teaching him.
***
easy child 1 is not certain if the in-laws are aware of the entire situation (beleive me, it won't matter). While they are jerks to him (and the rest of us), he feels its only fair to give them a point-blank explanation of his decision - if they ask, of course (and I'm sure they will). What they choose to do with it is up to them. My bet is, they will continue to coddle nephew and oust us - but so be it. But easy child wants to give them an explanation and an opportunity so he can go to bed at night knowing he did the best he could. I do applaud that.

 

[witzend]

Ok, I get it. I hope easy child will give it to them straight. Not that it will probably matter to their opinions, but one day they will know he was telling the truth and they were made fools of.

 

[Lothlorien]

husband said the charges would be false impersonation and/or identity theft.

 

[Star*]

Lets see........

Morally bankrupted a reputation you had no right to pilfer for you own use you toads turd.

I'm in the wagon with the group that agrees that your easy child should just say "I dont' have to give an explaination WHY I dont' want to forgive or be near my lying, stealing, morally corrupt cousin - ohh oops there I go."

Your kid is a LOT nicer than I would be. A>>>>>>>>>>LOT.

 

[Star*]

Or what about a statement (seriously) like

"You know Gma - I forgive X for the things he did to me so I can move on with my life, but forgiving and forgetting are not the same and to avoid any conflict I'm just going to bow out and I'll enjoy your company some other time."

Sounds better than

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? ARE YOU PEOPLE NOT NORMAL? THE MAN STOLE MY IDENTITY - STOLE - NOT BORROWED - HE USED ME BECAUSE I AM A GOOD PERSON AND HE KNEW THAT WHEN HE OPENED HIS PIE HOLE AND UTTERED MY STOLEN NAME _ NO! I AM NOT GOING TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR HIM _ HE IS DIRT UNDER MY NAILS AND I AM THROUGH WITH HIM AND SHOULD HE EVER EVER EVER UTTER MY NAME AS HIS OWN AGAIN I WILL BE FILLING FORMAL CHARGES.

(er something like that) personally - toad turd was good. a little juvenille - but I think your inlaws would get it.

 

[susiestar]

Shari,

I do understand why he wants to tell the inlaws WHY. It probably IS a good thing to not ignore someone until you have told them why. The telling of why is the hardest thing, I hope he gets results that he can live with/understand.

 

[Andy]

"Nephew wants people to think he is me when he does things he is too ashamed to admit! It will be a very confusing meal if I come. Can you really keep two of me straight? I will let the imposter have my meal and the rest of you get the chance of explaining to him that although my life is much more appealling to him than his, he truly is not me. Tell him that if he would straighten up and stop breaking the law, maybe, just maybe being himself will be satisfying?"

I would think obstruction of justice would also be a charge.

 

[nvts]

Hey Shari! I've got the wording!

ahem...ready?!!...here goes...

"The reason I'm not coming is because you hags have treated me like **** and my mom too. Rather than appearing to be the hypocrite that both of you are, I'd rather eat corn dogs from the microwave than to pray over a turkey and all it's trimmings with you two brooms."

"Oh, and my Mom is taking saddle shooting lessons for a reason."

"I'll mail you my Christmas wish list so you can ignore that like you always do".

"So sorry I won't be there to enjoy your company as well as that of my Cousin Bealzebub, but just tell him I don't want him to be tempted to steal my wallet for further abuse."

"See ya. Love ya. Buhbye now!


Wadda ya think? Too subtle?

Beth

 

[dreamer]

Many years ago, difficult child here got a ticket for underage smoking at our movie theatre parking lot. The police asked her name, she gave someone elses name, they handed her the ticket.and then went to notify the parents.meaning of course to notify difficult children parents- me. Instead the police found that difficult child had given the wrong name to them, and notified parents of a teen who was at the time sitting at home with her parents when police called to notify the parents. So, police had released difficult child after they gave her her ticket....(which at the time was a $25 ticket to pay, similar to a parking ticket) Police then went inside movie, searched inside the theater- FOUND difficult child and arrested her, handcuffs and all, AND took my young son into "protective custody" even tho I was in the bldging attached to movie theatre.
They transported both kids across town to police dept, and put difficult child into a jail cell- put my very young son into another cell- and sent an officer to get me from where I was in the bldg attached to movie theatre.
They refused me access to my young innocent son, saying no, he was in protective custody.and they charged my difficult child with felony obstruction of justice. When the police came into movie theatre to arrest her, she did at that time give her correct name....but, we had to bail her out, and we could not get our son back right away, either. Then the computers went down at police dept and police continued to refuse to releease either child- while we waited in police dept in a seperate room (me AND husband) for over 7 hours.
difficult child had to go to court, face the judge...and judge threatened to send difficult child to juvvie for 2 years....this was difficult children first run in with police in any way shape or form. We were told "obstruction of justice" is very often a far worse viewed crime by the police than most of the things a person might normally first be in trouble for.
A couple years ago my son got in legal trouble and was charged with felony obstruction of justice- his only run in with police- becuz he told another child to "be quiet, do not laugh, someone might hear" and our police dept got intensely irate with ME for wondering why they charged my son with THAT being his crime? Our police dept has an arrangement now with court and for children my sons age at the time- the police dept handles the incident without going to court...so you cannot even fight it.
But it is my impression now that "obstruction of justice" can be a nasty way to ramp up charges if a police dept is trying to "get" someone if the other charges they might be able to file are not enough to make the police dept happy enough? <sigh>> felony obstruction of justice? for a $25 smoking ticket? Felony obstruction of justice for telling another kid not to laugh?

Yup- giving a name other than your own can be a felony.