What Is Wrong with People and Our Laws?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by susiestar, Jul 13, 2016.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I have seen several documentaries lately about sex trafficking in the US. Often the victims are not just underage but WAY underage. If they are caught by the cops, they are charged with a crime and not treated as a victim. I think this is WAY wrong.

    I also wonder what is going on with a customer who would see a girl who was a teenager or younger and think it is okay to have sexual contact of any sort with her. I do not care what she is wearing, how do you see a little girl and think that is okay? Not all of these men are pedophiles but they just go ahead. How is this okay in their minds? The big cities in my state have some serious problems with this. One man in OKC got tired of the rampant prostitution with no repercussions from the law. He videotapes the acts and posts them online. Many of the men are not just churchgoing but are VERY active and have done things like purity balls with their daughters. But they are out doing this? How is this okay?

    A friend of mine divorced her husband after finding he was unfaithful. During the divorce she discovered that he was also seeing prostitutes, some the same age as their young daughter. She was thrown out of their church - which has a HUGE purity ball - for divorcing her husband but her husband was given a place as an elder AFTER proof that he was seeing prostitutes came to light and the entire church found out!

    Am I crazy for wondering what is wrong with us and what can be done to fix this? How hard is it for a person to see an underage girl or boy and refuse to use them as a prostitute? Why would anyone just go ahead?

    I don't know if legalizing sex work and regulating it is a solution, maybe using taxes from it to support underage victims as they transition into regular society would be a way to hep fix this? How cud we make people see that they need to speak up if they see an underage kid trying to work in the sex trade?
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You're not crazy - our legal system is a mess, and people with money get away with everything from minor infractions to atrocities. Why isn't this man in jail?

    on the other hand, I am of the personal opinion that "Purity Balls" are just about the most perverse thing ever, so his behavior and his church's acceptance of it doesn't surprise me at all.
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Someone told me that a sure sign of the end times would be when what is right is seen as wrong, and wrong is seen as right. Not trying to stir a religious issue. It does seem to be the way it is right now.
  4. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I don't even know what a purity ball is but the whole thing sounds corrupt and sick--violating other people's children, while you celebrate your morality with your own, and do not see the hypocrisy of it all.

    I work in prison. Actually on a protective custody yard where men with safety concerns are housed, typically those who have committed sex crimes. So I have some exposure to the type of men who do this and their personalities. Let me tell you. I see very little guilt and regret. There is frequently the sense that the child is either responsible, has lured them or that the child has benefited from the sex, wanted it and gained from the worldly experience and the pleasure that the man has provided her. Like a gift. Like a benefit. They see their relationships with these girls as closeness, sometimes. As special. For the girl as much as for them. These men typically feel very entitled in general. Some of them see themselves as special and smarter and look down on others. There is the sense that normal rules do not apply to them.

    I see these perpetrators as highly narcissistic people in a society that seems to reward people like them. Like that guy Jett who got away with so much. These guys are idealized by their specific peer groups, in just the manner you describe. Until they get caught. And then they will get 20 to 30 years in prison. Watch it happen. It does. And then all of the people that protected them will forget them and go about idealizing some other highly flawed person.

    The problem is not sex per se. It is the abuse of power and the people that give consent to it. That is what I think. It makes me sick what you describe. Actually, I am able to work very easily with these perpetrators while they are in prison. I do not feel distaste, although I will not specifically talk about sexual matters with them. But I do not judge them or necessarily feel revulsion for them--even though what they have done and what you describe fills me with disgust.

    You know, as I write this, I am wondering if the trouble I am having about being back at work--I just posted a new thread, might have something to do with this. Maybe I am having more trouble than I have realized.

    Thank you for posting this. When I was a little girl violation of little girls was a commonplace thing. I grew up around it. Maybe I have reached my limit.
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I think purity balls are a travesty and yet another way to control girls. They promise their daddies they will remain pure - for what? For their daddies? That's sick. What about the boys? Yeah, no thanks for either.

    I never have understood why anyone would be attracted to someone very young. I kind-of get the attraction that teenage girls have for some men - they're fresh, untouched. But under about 16? YECH! There's the little schoolgirl thing, too. CREEPY.

    But then, if you are going "underground" for prostitution, do you really care about the law? About hurting others? Probably not.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    in my entire life I never heard of a purity ball. Is this regional?

    Without going into detail, nothing a church does surprises me. And I don't believe in the church's idea s about the end of times. I have my own beliefs and I am not upset with other thinking, but I believe differently, which I hope is okay.
  7. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I have never heard of a purity ball either. Before. I looked it up, the image in my mind was something akin to purity rings, but in a ball form....luckily I was wrong!

    However, teens postponing sex is a good thing, a healthy thing.

    Waiting till adulthood, when they are more mature, would cut down on a lot of problems for both the girl and society.

    I consider that guiding, not controlling.
  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    There's a documentary. Here's a link to an article about it. Be sure you've got a strong stomach before you take a peek.


    Here's a link to a clip from the documentary

    The Purity Ball (Virginity Documentary) - Real Stories

  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Waiting is not what a purity ball is about. Pledging your virginity to your father is what a purity ball is about.

    I think waiting is a good idea as well, and I think that it should come with a fully informed knowledge of basic biology & prevention of pregnancy & STD's. Kids are doing everything but "the deed" and calling themselves virgins. Ignorance is not bliss.

  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I've heard of the purity balls and I find the whole concept to be appalling! It seems like a step backwards to when daughters were considered to be the property of their fathers. Makes my skin crawl! To think of a group of fathers getting together and dressing up in tuxedos to celebrate their daughter's virginity is just disgusting! Surely there are better ways to instill values in your child. And you'll notice that these girls are very young, too young to be dating and have any real interaction with boys. Promises like this are very easy to make when they're nine, not so easy to keep when they're older teenagers with hormones and real boyfriends in their lives.

    But I guess my real question is why are they not having similar programs for their sons? Why not teach them to have respect and consideration for girls and women? With them it's just "boys will be boys"? What a monumental load of horse hockey! I think it's safe to assume that for every young girl who loses her virginity, someone's son was equally involved!
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    Last edited: Jul 15, 2016
  11. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    So... I watched the whole documentary.

    These families do seem to raise the boys to be abstinent as well. The one boy in college they focus on said he'd never dated, never kissed a girl. You could kind of tell that he can't freaking wait though. He HAS to live at home...no way that cute of a guy doesn't have girls falling at his feet on campus. I guess there's no "ball" for the boys.

    It's weird, no doubt. It's a philosophy filled with good ideas - strong family ties and values, strong loving father figures, I don't even thing that abstaining from sex until marriage is a bad thing - and yet it's been twisted into something extreme and kind of creepy.

    I've said it before, extremism in any form is a bad thing.
  12. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    A family whose college age son has never dated, never even kissed a girl ... sounds very Duggar-esque to me! And we all know what happened in that family!

    I came up through the sixties but by the time I was that age I was perfectly capable of making my own decisions and considered my social/sex life to be none of my parent's business! I was my own person, not the property of my parents!
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  13. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Yes, it was rather Dugger-esque. Like I said, weird and a bit creepy.
  14. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    What is that google pointed me to a game
  15. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    The Duggars (I had spelled it wrong) are a family which had a reality show, 19 kids and counting. They are some kind of fundamentalist Christian family, that followed the "Quiver-full" movement, believing that people should have as many children as God sees fit to give them.

  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Last edited: Jul 15, 2016
  17. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

  18. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

  19. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Of course the daughter's virginity belongs to her father. He's the one who gets the bride-price when she's married off.

    If she's not a virgin, she's worthless. If a virgiin, then she's worth a varying amount of goats or milch cows, etc. Depends on her looks, her skills with handicrafts, how docile and compliant she is, etc.

    Which makes me ask. Few people in the US have the facilities to keep goats and cattle, and it could get really awkward if they marry off more than one daughter. What coin exactly is the father paid in for his virgin daughter in these modern times in the USA?
  20. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    A father owning his daughters virginity...is it just me? it sounds yukky and incestuous.