What should I do?

[nlg319]

difficult child#1 is in foster care. Our school department is responsible for transporation to school as difficult child#1 is in another town. But DSS has to go down in person and make this request. We have been on school vacation this past week so they will go tomorrow. DSS told me it could take 3-4 days to set it up.

Because both foster parents work, difficult child#1 will be dropped off at DSS office for the day. I said that I would drive to pick her up for school and bring home after softball practice. husband and my mother don't agree with me. They think this should be part of her consequence for her behavior. My thinking is that I don't want her missing school. But I am going to tell her first thing in the morning, that if she has a poor attitude, swears or talks disrespectful to me, I WILL NOT give her rides.

What should I do????

 

[Allan-Matlem]

Hi,
When kids miss school , they are not in structured environments and are likely to fall behind in schoolwork which makes their struggles even tougher. I would offer her a ride unconditionally, just say you want to help her be successful. I assume there is a lot of emotional baggage , but I would rather she be in school and me use a rhino skin , emotional barrier if she gets ' mouthy'. I have a religious book which talks how at the same time that we sin against God , he gives us life. I would try to be ' unconditional'

Allan

 

[1905]

I would take her to school. You don't want her to fall behind, or fall through the cracks for 3 or 4 days. I wouldn't even say anything about being respectful or else you won't drive her. She may like that office more than school- and purposefully be disrespectful so you won't drive her. I don't agree with your husband or mother. Consequences for bad behavior should be missing something, besides school. Something they like. -Alyssa

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Hi,
I don't know a whole lot about your situation, but I agree with Allan that her getting to school should not be dependent on whether or not she displays appropriate behavior. I might, however, tell her that if she is inappropriate, she will not get a ride to softball, an extra-ciriccular.
Just a thought. Good luck to you. Hope they can move that process along and get her ride set up in a day or so.