we are obviously going to have to do an iep for difficult child now that we have an inital diagnosis.
what do i need to know about our rights before we have our first iep mtg(currently have iep for speech)?
There is a "getting started" thread located in the Sp Ed archives.
You'll find a link to a sample letter that needs to be sent to the school district requesting an evaluation in compliance with IDEA. It's very important to send the letter via Certified Mail. School districts have 60 days to get an evaluation done, but the Certified Mail is needed to start the clock ticking.
The other links in the thread will give you an overview of your's and your child's rights regarding education for students with qualifying disabilities and Individual Education Plans (IEP).
One link that is not in the letter is the one pertaining to Protection of Children Not Yet Eligible for Special Education. These protections will kick in the second the school district receives your letter requesting the evaluation.
In that you mentioned your son is doing well academically, you'll want to read the threads in the archives regarding adverse education impact. Many school districts will say that unless a child's grades are negatively impacted, a child will not qualify for an IEP. This is incorrect information. IEPs are for children with academic OR behavioral problems.
I typically advise parents to be forthcoming with sd's regarding diagnosis, but I have to agree with others that posted in the General forum in your case for several reasons -- many that have already been addressed. From an educational standpoint, however, most school districts will interpret "conduct disorder" as "willfulness" and a student won't get the early intervention that is needed. Left untreated, behavioral problems can progress to true "conduct disorder" in the years to come. An IEP is one part of a multimodal treatment plan.
I just read the original post. You say your child is usually sweet and loving? My personal experience would lead me to think AS or Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). Does anything seem to trigger the agressive behavior? Could be something you would never think of - seam off in a pair of socks, smell that he can't tolerate, too much noise, flouresent lighting, too many people around. My son tends to throw a tantrum after being in a crowded place for too long. The school cafeteria was just too much. He couldn't eat because of all the noise and had a really hard time holding it together. Summer Camp found a great alternative - they put a table away from the rest of the crowd and let my son choose friends to sit with him. If another child had a hard time during lunch they would give that child the opportunity to sit there as well, but never used it as a punishment.
Does he only have agressive tantrums at school? Is it usually at around the same time of day? Maybe after gym or art, or something like that?