blackgnat
Active Member
Hi all, looking for wisdom as usual.
difficult child is in jail, to be sentenced June 13. Am getting frequent calls, some of which I take and others I ignore. Always the same theme-he is losing it, can't take any more, emotions are out of control, reality is slipping away from him and he doesn't think it will ever come back.
He's on medications (especially since his suicide attempt-or whatever that was) but feels he needs them increased. The medical staff are not acknowledging his requests to up the medications. One of the nurses has twice given him a double dose of anti-anxiety medications and this helped a lot but this only happened every couple of weeks.
Just got off the phone with him-same theme. He was crying and then laughed a bit manically, then very abruptly said "Okay I have to go " and hung up. He asked me "Why am I in here, why am I doing this?" I said "Because you broke the law and you got caught". That's when he hung up.
I keep telling him "Son, I have NO idea what to tell you. You HAVE NO CHOICE, so you have to keep going." I mean, what the HELL ELSE can I say? I don't know how the system works, I feel sad that he is going through this, but a MAJOR part of me feels shut off from him, completely flat when he tells me this. That's a little worrying, I think. Then again, this stuff is really nothing new. I said I wished there was something I could say to make you feel better, but there isn't. It's up to you to find some kind of coping skill. What do other inmates do to get through? Maybe the suicidal thoughts are part of the medications-isn't that sometimes a side effect?" etc etc ad nauseam. I tell him "Come ON, you're not going through 7 months of this, to just give up when the end is in sight?" but really ....
I don't know what to say! He feels that talking to me might make him feel better but I can't see how it would because I have nothing to offer him. Am I becoming too hardened?
What do I say?
difficult child is in jail, to be sentenced June 13. Am getting frequent calls, some of which I take and others I ignore. Always the same theme-he is losing it, can't take any more, emotions are out of control, reality is slipping away from him and he doesn't think it will ever come back.
He's on medications (especially since his suicide attempt-or whatever that was) but feels he needs them increased. The medical staff are not acknowledging his requests to up the medications. One of the nurses has twice given him a double dose of anti-anxiety medications and this helped a lot but this only happened every couple of weeks.
Just got off the phone with him-same theme. He was crying and then laughed a bit manically, then very abruptly said "Okay I have to go " and hung up. He asked me "Why am I in here, why am I doing this?" I said "Because you broke the law and you got caught". That's when he hung up.
I keep telling him "Son, I have NO idea what to tell you. You HAVE NO CHOICE, so you have to keep going." I mean, what the HELL ELSE can I say? I don't know how the system works, I feel sad that he is going through this, but a MAJOR part of me feels shut off from him, completely flat when he tells me this. That's a little worrying, I think. Then again, this stuff is really nothing new. I said I wished there was something I could say to make you feel better, but there isn't. It's up to you to find some kind of coping skill. What do other inmates do to get through? Maybe the suicidal thoughts are part of the medications-isn't that sometimes a side effect?" etc etc ad nauseam. I tell him "Come ON, you're not going through 7 months of this, to just give up when the end is in sight?" but really ....
I don't know what to say! He feels that talking to me might make him feel better but I can't see how it would because I have nothing to offer him. Am I becoming too hardened?
What do I say?