T
TeDo
Guest
I have an interesting dilemma that I really want your input on. I need to give you some background first so please bear with me.
X and I were engaged when I found out I was pregnant. We planned to get married after the babies were born. At some point after that, he went off his medications and ended up in a psychiatric hospital. I was working part-time and came home to find him and all his belongings gone. Vanished without a word.
I moved back home (had been living 2 hours away). He called 4 months later to see how I was doing and let me know where he was (living with his parents in TX) but that was less than an hour after I found out my Dad had just died in a hospital 3 hours away while I was home because of an ob/gyn appointment. I blew up at him and hung up. Three weeks later I had the kids with my family's help. I did not put his name on the birth certificate because I was even angrier and had no intentions of having anything to do with him.
When they were 18 months old, he "moved" back up here to "be a dad". LOL I would not allow him to stay with us but allowed him to visit when he wasn't working. After 2 months, he quit taking his medications again, ended up in psychiatric hospital, and vanished again.
Because the boys were on Medicaid and I was receiving food stamps, the county went after him for child support. He was working "cash under the table" so they couldn't get anything unless he voluntarily sent it. He sent partial payments a couple times a year and that was it.
When they were about 4 years old, he came up to visit. He spent a week here but spent a total of 2 hours visiting with them one day at our house with my sister and her family here so the boys would feel safe around a stranger (this was after their sexual abuse and difficult child 1 was still having "issues"). He ended up being arrested and jailed for non-payment of child support. His parents bailed him out 2 days later and he went home to them the minute he got out.
He called them when they were around 5 years old and they talked to him briefly. I found out at Kindergarten conferences that he'd been here and some other dad had taken him to the school where he requested that report cards be sent to him. Needless to say, I went ballistic. He received ONE report card for ONE of the boys before I raised a stink with the school and put an end to that.
He has had NO contact with them or me since. I've been receiving child support monthly for about a year now (must have a REAL job). Yesterday in the mail, I recieved a note from the county child support office saying that X wanted me to call him and gave me the number.
Now the dilemma I have is that I don't know if I should or want to call him. I'm curious about what he wants after all these years. I have no intention of telling him squat about the boys. Frankly, it's none of his business. If he cared at all, he would have maintained contact over the last 9 years. Part of me wants to know why, all of a sudden, he wants me to call him. The court papers give me sole legal custody, sole physical custody and any contact is strictly at my discression.
What do you think I should do? I'm sooooooo confused.
X and I were engaged when I found out I was pregnant. We planned to get married after the babies were born. At some point after that, he went off his medications and ended up in a psychiatric hospital. I was working part-time and came home to find him and all his belongings gone. Vanished without a word.
I moved back home (had been living 2 hours away). He called 4 months later to see how I was doing and let me know where he was (living with his parents in TX) but that was less than an hour after I found out my Dad had just died in a hospital 3 hours away while I was home because of an ob/gyn appointment. I blew up at him and hung up. Three weeks later I had the kids with my family's help. I did not put his name on the birth certificate because I was even angrier and had no intentions of having anything to do with him.
When they were 18 months old, he "moved" back up here to "be a dad". LOL I would not allow him to stay with us but allowed him to visit when he wasn't working. After 2 months, he quit taking his medications again, ended up in psychiatric hospital, and vanished again.
Because the boys were on Medicaid and I was receiving food stamps, the county went after him for child support. He was working "cash under the table" so they couldn't get anything unless he voluntarily sent it. He sent partial payments a couple times a year and that was it.
When they were about 4 years old, he came up to visit. He spent a week here but spent a total of 2 hours visiting with them one day at our house with my sister and her family here so the boys would feel safe around a stranger (this was after their sexual abuse and difficult child 1 was still having "issues"). He ended up being arrested and jailed for non-payment of child support. His parents bailed him out 2 days later and he went home to them the minute he got out.
He called them when they were around 5 years old and they talked to him briefly. I found out at Kindergarten conferences that he'd been here and some other dad had taken him to the school where he requested that report cards be sent to him. Needless to say, I went ballistic. He received ONE report card for ONE of the boys before I raised a stink with the school and put an end to that.
He has had NO contact with them or me since. I've been receiving child support monthly for about a year now (must have a REAL job). Yesterday in the mail, I recieved a note from the county child support office saying that X wanted me to call him and gave me the number.
Now the dilemma I have is that I don't know if I should or want to call him. I'm curious about what he wants after all these years. I have no intention of telling him squat about the boys. Frankly, it's none of his business. If he cared at all, he would have maintained contact over the last 9 years. Part of me wants to know why, all of a sudden, he wants me to call him. The court papers give me sole legal custody, sole physical custody and any contact is strictly at my discression.
What do you think I should do? I'm sooooooo confused.