Wildflower, this is something I thought long and hard about because it never occured to me to call the police, when difficult child was being threatening.
I have no experience with police coming to my home so I found the thought of it very intimidating. Today, I would get over my intimidation.
I really believe that all parents with children who have behavior problems need to have thought this out and have a plan for violent outbursts. What are you going to do? What are you comfortable with? How will this be handled?
It is no surprise that children with mental illness,dev. delay or emotional disability do not belong in juvie. So where would their needs be served when they are in a rage or unstable?
Too many times there is no plan in place for parents to fall back on when there is this sort of upheaval. They react in the heat of the moment. Very often it isn't a positive intervention.
In my mind, there is instability that requires hospitalization and medication. No amount of time or support or discipline is going to fix this-
So if a parent senses their child is starting to spiral down, doesn't it make sense to intervene before it escalates to violence? Call the dr., tweek the medications, adjust the school schedule etc. If necessary plan to have someone help you take them to the hospital when they become violent.
If this is a child who is functioning but has explosive rage,when told no,he/she becomes threatening and destructive, then there has to be a different plan. The hospital will probably not keep this child who isn't a danger to himself.
This is where you need a different plan to avoid juvie if possible.
How to descalate the situation, without giving in and letting the child have control? How to protect yourself,your home,your children and the raging child before there is damage?
I would definitely, have a plan. Trying to isolate the child in his safe room before it escalates too far, is always the first step. Not engaging in a verbal battle is the next. I would try to have a back up person who would be available to help deal with a raging child,should I be alone.
The police would be the last step.
I didn't call the police when difficult child was 13 because I really didn't think to do it. (duh!) Looking back, I probably should have but we did get through but I knew I wasn't living with the threat of violence. I made a plan and followed through. It required him going to boarding school but none of us had to live with the violence and he learned to control himself.
It is a difficult to figure out what parts of our child's dysfunction we can tolerate and what you can't. Some people can't live with their children doing drugs and alcohol. I can't live with violence or even the intimidation that the threat of violence brings. If I didn't want the police to be called I had to have another plan but I wasn't living with that sort of behavior.
Hope this helps you think,in advance what you plan to do when it happens.
Most of our kids will have outbursts of violence in their hormonal years, so it makes sense to plan for that sort of violence. Seems silly to be surprised.