Why would this bother me

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by KFld, Jun 12, 2007.

  1. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I posted about my difficult child's ex-girlfriend (a.k.a. wingnut) getting a job at a liquor store owned by my bestfriends sons girlfriends family. Did you get all that?? :smile:

    Anyway wingnut admitted to knowing my bestfriend, why I have no idea, because my bestfriend has nothing good to say about her and as soon as she heard it she told the girl they should get rid of her pronto!!!! before she robs them blind. In the meantime it's next to a bakery that she got fired from last year for stealing and the bakery owner came in and recognized her and warned them to get rid of her. My girlfriend told me this morning they are getting rid of her this week and for some reason I feel bad???? What the heck is wrong with me? I feel I'm somehow responsible that she's going to lose another job even though I had nothing to do with it. My girlfriend knows everything about her and she's the one who filled them in, not me, but for some reason I feel bad.
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Maybe because somewhere in you she hopes she succeeds if for no other reason that she has a child? At the same time, you were hoping she'd lose the job because she is such a wingnut? Be proud of the fact that as much as you dislike this girl you want her to succeed.
  3. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Yes, it is to your credit that you feel that way. You're entitled and right to feel vindicated in the whole situation; that you aren't gloating over her being fired shows that you are not petty and spiteful, very difficult to avoid with someone who has done you and yours so much wrong.
  4. Jen

    Jen New Member

    Maybe because you have a concious. adn defintely dont think or feel the same way as this girl does. I would feel bad to but you still gave your friend the choice to do what she wanted with her as far firing.

  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    It bothers you because you are a kind person who wants the best for everyone, even wingnut.

  6. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Because your a good person. Because you have a conscience.
    The fact that she was working or trying to means she was at least trying to do the right thing and you know that. If the nice man at the hobby shop didnt give your son a chance even after he found out his past he might not be where he is now, who knows. She is responsible for her own reputation, if it wasnt your friend it was going to be the bakery that told the liquor store of her past. It is up to wingnut to prove them wrong.

    You didnt have anything to do with it. She is just going to have to work harder at the next job to prove she is worthy of the job.

  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I agree with what everyone else said. Also, though, I think that we all have an irrational sense of guilt where our kids are concerned. I know she's not your daughter, but was very close to being related for some time. I think that there is a certain sense of your sucked into this situation.
  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I'm just glad the guy at the bakery recognized her. Not that I had any control over what my girlfriend told them about her, but I feel better that it came from someone who had nothing to do with me.
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    You feel bad because the whole situation from A-Z is sad. It is a shame. Everyone feels bad. (but we are happy difficult child isn't the father). -Alyssa
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What comes around goes around.

    Natural consequences.

    Not your fault. Hers.
  11. KFld

    KFld New Member

    My girlfriend told me she has already called out sick, takes cigarette breaks every two minutes and answers her cellphone everytime it rings even when she's in the middle of taking care of a customer. I don't know why they haven't let her go yet, but I can see her work ethics haven't gotten any better. I will feel better now if they let her go because it will be her own actions that have caused it and not the input of what my girlfriend knows about her.

    Somebody is giving her a chance and she's blowing it. What a surprise.