Please keep a good thought for me tomorrow. We are celebrating my mom's birthday and will have my gfgbro there. I cut him out of our lives a couple of years ago and it has been my mom's only desire to have us all together again. I really don't want him in my life, but I know it hurts her and I don't want that either. My kids are at a point where they are willing to be around him at family dinners now and then, and thank you is big enough to beat gfgbro into the ground if gfgbro gets into his face. that and J being able to handle it are what I have waited for. I didn't tell anyone, but the main reason I cut contact was because a teacher discovered bruises all along thank you's ribs. I hadn't seen them, but when described to me, I knew immediately what had happened. Gfgbro got angry and poked him in the side as he ranted at him. Gfgbro is great at catching you away from the rest of the family, and this was a favorite of him. CPS had already worked with us over Wiz, and they were willing to not make a formal investigation if I agreed to end contact until my kids were adults or big enough to stop gfgbro if he started. At this point, gfgbro knows that Wiz WILL find him and kick his tushie if he steps out of line. How does gfgbro know this? Wiz did it twice when gfgbro got in his face and would not stop. Both of my boys are abnormally strong for their size - we didn't call thank you "BamBam' for nothing as a toddler. He was incredibly strong and still is. Now he is actually willing to stand up for himself, and that is important to me. For years he would not no matter what the other person did to him. Anyway, we are meeting for dinner at my mom's, each bringing something, as her 'big' birthday gift. She doesn't know, but my Dad does just in case something has to be stopped, like if Mom gets a migraine or something. That way he can let both of us know. I am sure gfgbro will be well behaved until he gets more comfortable iwth us being around. He was forced into some counselling, so hopefully that has created some better anger mgmt for him. I am NOT looking forward to this, not at all. But it will make my mom happy, and after my dad's heart surgery, well, it is time. My mom needs to know that if she or my dad get really sick, that gfgbro and I will work together to do what is needed, regardless of our personal opinions of each other. Well, regardless of my opinion of gfgbro - he never ignores HIS opinions.