A woman at my parenting group told me of an incident with her difficult child and i was wondering if similar things would work with any if yours? I know it wouldn't with mine but thats another story lol One morning she got her difficult child off to school and went to do the shopping. She couldn't find her credit card so went home to see if she had left it there. she hadn't. Mum then called the credit card company and reported it as lost or stolen. They asked her when her last transaction was and she told them (it was a few days before). The company then informed her that a £30 withdrawal had been made on her card that day. Mum asked the location and the company told her. Mum immediately know that difficult child had taken it as it was from the area she attends school. Mum said nothing to the company and treated it as stolen. She then went shopping (using her bank card this time) and bought difficult child some new shoes and some clothes. When she got home she lay them on difficult child's bed. When difficult child returned home from school mum just said (in a calm voice) ' there is something for you in your room'. difficult child went upstairs, came back down and said 'you bought me new clothes?' Mum said 'yes, and i believe you have something that belongs to me?' difficult child handed over the card very sheepishly. mum then asked for the money as well, at which point difficult child went white! She handed over £10 so mum asked for the other £20. difficult child realised she wasnt going to get away with it and handed over the rest of the money. She hadnt spent a penny! mum thanked her and went downstairs. At no point did she raise her voice or seem angry, more disappointed i think. difficult child came down and said 'you bought me clothes knowing i had stolen from you?' mum said she had.. at this point difficult child asked 'mum, why do you love me?' I know if i tried this with my difficult child he would completely take advantage and do it all the more.. i know because i have tried.