Hi All, I'm new here but looking for support and answers to a relationship problem with my 33 year old daughter. She has become very hostile and angry and has basically cut me out of their lives and the lives of my grandchildren. Her husband has always been very distant and untrusting of most people. He was raised in a very abusive home. I had managed to build what I thought was a very healthy and fulfilling relationship between myself and both my daughter and her husband. She used to call me her best friend and has frequently in the past told me and sent cards to me that say how loved she feels and that there's one thing in this world she never questions and that is that she is loved by me. A few weeks ago we went on a girls trip and took my daughter in law along (my daughter's idea). I thought we all had a great time. My daughter-in-law and I both "catered" to her quite a bit when getting ready to go out to dinner or shows, etc. She wanted someone to do her hair (which my daughter in law did every time, taking 45 min at least) then she wanted help with what to wear bc, along with shoes (which she mostly borrowed from daughter in law), etc... But this was nothing new. She does this to all her friends, making them "dress" her and I frequently buy her new clothes and shoes (which I also did on this trip bc she asked me to) bc she will never spend her money to buy clothes or shoes or try to look nice. She works in a hospital so she wears scrubs each day to work. She's a very beautiful woman, size 2-4 but usually shows up at family functions in sweat pants and t-shirts. The day after we returned home from our trip, she called me to tell me how horribly she'd been treated by both myself and my daughter in law the whole weekend. She said I'd made her feel inadequate and like a 3rd wheel and that I made her feel inferior. She also said our relationship was superficial and that we never talked about anything that mattered. (We have talked about lots of things that I'm sure she doesn't share with anyone else.) She also said I had insulted her husband a few weeks before and had been rude to him. I told her I had no idea I had done that and would certainly call him and apologize bc that was not my intention. (It was a conversation about the name of a place that he was referring to as one thing and I as another and once he explained I understood and laughed it off but he got defensive and thought I should refer to this place with the same name he did. The conversation was starting to get weird and awkward, as many times it does with him, and I just started talking about something else and apparently this angered him, unbeknownst to me. She ended the call by saying she thought we needed some space from each other and I agreed. I asked her if I could still see my grandchildren (ages 2 and 7). I asked her to please not punish them or me by keeping them from me like she does her mother in law when she's mad at her (She once refused to let her mother in law see the now 7 year old for over 6 months, even thought she had previously been very much a part of his life.) She said her mother in law was mentally unstable and that's why she has to remove them from her life at times. When I got off the phone with her I called her husband and apologized for hurting his feelings a few weeks ago and that it had certainly not been my intention. He was very bitter and accusatory, Reiterating that my daughter feels our relationship is fake and that we seem to be on different paths in life now. He went on to say that they were following a spiritual path and we (my husband and myself) were following a materialistic path. I told him that we indeed were very blessed and I was thankful for my life and would never apologize for the many blessings that hard work and faith in God had brought our way. And that we loved being able to share and bless our family in return (in the past year we've spent probably $8000- 10,000 on things for their new house) and that was something I would never apologize for. All this was was about 7 weeks ago. I haven't been allowed to see either grandchild since then, even though prior to this for well over a year I went to their house 1 day a week to spend time with them and always provided dinner for the family and did housekeeping and laundry while there. There were a couple of other conversations in the first week of the blow-up that just got more and more accusatory. There has been no communication since then. Neither of them respond to phone calls or texts. During the last phone call my daughter even told me it was my fault that she had a affair (no her husband doesn't know about this) and I could have stopped her if I tried but I secretly wanted her to divorce. I reminded her that I was the only one in the family who even tried to reason with her to give her marriage another chance - which she did. At this point I am so emotionally and mentally devastated by both their accusations and mean-spiritedness that I honestly could care less if I ever saw them again. But I love my grandchildren and want to be able to see them. I'm at a loss as to what to do.