Yes, I am insane.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by dashcat, Jul 16, 2011.

  1. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Just when I thought I was immune to difficult child's manipulations.... I fell for a big one.

    She called me Friday and asked if I would consider helping her foster an abandoned kitten.

    I asked what she meant by that and she said "I'll stay with you for a few days, and we can nurse this kitten back to health and I fill find him a good home". "Will you take full responsibility for the feeding and care of said kitten?", "Oh, yes, I promise. I've done internet research, B (doofus boyfriend) has the supplies".

    Are you finished laughing?

    I said yes.

    WHY??? Was I momentarily taken over by aliens? How could I have uttered such an idiot response?

    So kitten is here. And she is - mostly - caring for it. I do spell her from about 5:30 - 10:00 am ish ...I'm an early riser and I really don't mind doing a couple of feedings while she sleeps.

    However. I am no subjected to full-blown difficult child drama. First night: she doesn't feel she can "do this". Since B had told us, the day before, that the coworker who had taken the other kitten (and had I known about this, I would have said no...believing that kitty should be with his littermate - at this OHTER person's house!) would take him if it didn't work out, I tell her to call B and we will deliver kitten to willing coworker.

    Right. According to difficult child, B blows up (she did call him at 2:00 a.m.!)...says "I knew you couldn't do this!". She waffles. Next day, she calls him at work. He starts crying. Really? A grown man starts CRYING at WORK because he is attached to a kitten that he is not staying up all night with?

    difficult child and B make up. He comes over and feeds kitten once. Together, by the way, they are nauseating. "I love you, babe" (repeat 300 times) smooch, smooch... GAG! Ugh.

    But this kitten is a living creature. She made the commitement to care for him and she will (under my roof at least).

    It's only a few days old. Eyes aren't open, bottle feedings every 2 hours. Poor little thing.

    But now what? I realized - all too late - that once kitty is here, I'm going to have a heck of a time "making" her find it a home.


    The only saving grace is that she and B will get tired - really, really, quickly - of the fact that I won't allow her to live her AND spend the night at his place. Nor will I put up with her laying around the house instead of looking for work. There' s plenty to do around here - painting, scraping, mowing, weeding. I also don't have TV service. I have a flat screen and a dvd player (love movies), but no Netflix, no cable, no cleaning lady. Poor difficult child.

    But, yes, I am insane. Call it a momentary lapse of reason....
  2. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    If it's any consolation I have to admit that anything involving an animal (especially a baby one) would completely suck me in! Enjoy the wonder of the kitten and ignore the chaos- easier said than done, I know. But the kitten must be awesome. It's a testament to your good nature and your belief that good things can come from this bad situation.
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    AWWWWWWWWWWWW I would have been sucked in too. I love the kittens.

    Keep on her to care for the kitten. If her getting pregnant is even the slightest possibility, remind her that a baby is 100X harder than the kitten - hopefully it will keep "baby wanting" away.

    I rescued a newborn puppy when I was pregnant with DD1, BUT I was definitely finding it another home when it was old enough. I think it was part of the nesting phase or something
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    You're not the only one. Nichole has svcked me in so many times I couldn't begin to count. Last time she wasn't even living here. On her way to work she nearly hit a litter of kittens, teeny things, pitiful shape. Brought them to me. I knew I couldn't say no, even though I wasn't happy about it. We lost two. She still has Cassie.

    But the last time before I took it, I knew in my mind I'd be the one doing most of the caring for it, for one thing she was working 12 hr days. Once I dealt with that and decided to do it anyway, it was ok. That was the last time for her. She's decided she has real trouble taking in strays that don't make it. These kittens were in horrid shape. I'm surprised Cassie survived honestly.
  5. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Well I'm glad I'm not alone.

    Unfortunately, the kitty really tanked as the morning went on When difficult child went to feed him after she got up (he'deatn for me but was fussy for almost the entire morning), he just layed there with his mouth open. I knew this was not good. Called the vet and we decided, with the vet's help and advice, to euthanize him.

    Just heartbreaking. It ended up being a good mother/daughter bonding sad as it was. Of course she beat it out of here and on to B's (and, later, her dad's) as soon as we got back from a famiy party we'd planned on attending a long time ago.

    I'm glad I did it. Even though I am insane.
  6. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry about the kitten. Maybe you could have a conversation preventing another one from showing up tomorrow.
  7. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    I'm sorry about the kitten, but at least he was loved for the short time you had him. And you're a GOOD insane!
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry about the kitten. Do you think that was a way for her to try to get back in the house at least part way?

  9. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Thanks, everyone. It's amazing how attached you can get to a little creature in such a short time. I know his chances were slim, but we gave him love .... and he didn't die alone and scared.

    Nancy, it may have been her way of trying to connect with me a little (and it worked, by the way!), but not to get back in the house. She was out of here like a flash last night. Her dad wouldn't let her keep the kitty there and neither would doofus's family. She knows she can stay here whenever she wants, as long as she respects my household. She does occasionally (mother's day, Christmas, kitten duty), but she also knows she cannot live here without significant lifestyle changes. I don't see it happenning anytime soon.

    The lesson I've taken away from this was - it WAS insane, and absolutely the right thing to do.

    And, upallnight, there's little danger of her "showing up" with another. I don't think she could take the pain of losing another neo-nate and I've made it clear that I'll not take any puppies, kitties, cats or dogs on full time.

    Last edited: Jul 17, 2011
  10. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Dash, I don't think you are insane at all.... ok maybe a little to try and rescue the tiny kitty but I would have done the same. You showed your daughter you are a loving mother, you care about her and yet you are sticking to your own rules and values. She knows what they are and that she can come to you. I think that is important. A hard balance at times but you are walking that fine line in a great way. The rest is up to her.