totoro
Mom? What's a difficult child?
He adopted my older Brother and I when my Father took off and then took us when my Mom abandoned us and later killed herself. He was very abusive and a drug addict. He sent me to the hospital once and beat me up a few times. Him and my Mom were into some very weird things, lots of drugs and sex things...
He told me she wanted to leave right after she found out she was pregnant with my little half brother, which was right after they were married. They stayed together for a few years though. Drugs...
He also remarried quickly after Mom died, to a drug addict, who did some horrible things to and with both of my brothers...
Anyway he beat me up one time and I said that was it! I was leaving, I was 13yo. He told me I could find my Father or go to a foster home. I found my Father, big mistake!!!
So adopted Dad and I reconnected years later, he had a big break through and needed to apologize for everything. We have made our peace...
So we talk and send cards etc. A few times a year. I think he is kind of happy, haunted but happy. He does not talk to my older brother. Older brother is too messed up, younger brother is messed up still also, just found out he is expecting another kid...
So he called today to see how we are, we were talking about life etc. He asks alot of questions about K and me...
I was telling him the Symptoms of my Cyclothymia, he asked if I had any when I was younger. I said " Oh yeah"... I said but it didn't help that L, my Father, did drugs with me and taught me how to freebase, and let me have sex with his friends... etc
I told him all about the junk L did with me from 13-17 when I moved on my own, and how I continued into my 20's and how hard it was to reach that point to want to be a better person and strive for something...
So we ended the phone call, on a good note.
He called me back 3rd time and was crying... he said he was so sorry for abondoning me and he had no clue he let me go into that life. He thought he was letting me leave to go to a better life, because my Father had money he would take care of me... he said he was ashamed of himself that he couldn't do better for his kids and he still feels we are his kids.
He said he should have protected us, it was his job.
It was a very touching phone call, I told him while he was indeed a horrible Dad, not many Men, would step up and adopt 2 kids that were not thiers, have the woman who they loved dearly leave them, keep the kids, while she commited suicide and still try to raise the family. I said it was admirable. I told him he would not be who he is today nor I... I have forgiven him. I said we all learn, we were all suffering and angry at that time.
I told him he came from a horrible place, went to a horrible place, yet he has made a wonderful life for himself with a very nice lady now...
I thanked him for the phone call, and said my own Father can't admit his own mistakes you are a much bigger person than him.
Everytime I think I am done with all of this stuff... something new.
He told me she wanted to leave right after she found out she was pregnant with my little half brother, which was right after they were married. They stayed together for a few years though. Drugs...
He also remarried quickly after Mom died, to a drug addict, who did some horrible things to and with both of my brothers...
Anyway he beat me up one time and I said that was it! I was leaving, I was 13yo. He told me I could find my Father or go to a foster home. I found my Father, big mistake!!!
So adopted Dad and I reconnected years later, he had a big break through and needed to apologize for everything. We have made our peace...
So we talk and send cards etc. A few times a year. I think he is kind of happy, haunted but happy. He does not talk to my older brother. Older brother is too messed up, younger brother is messed up still also, just found out he is expecting another kid...
So he called today to see how we are, we were talking about life etc. He asks alot of questions about K and me...
I was telling him the Symptoms of my Cyclothymia, he asked if I had any when I was younger. I said " Oh yeah"... I said but it didn't help that L, my Father, did drugs with me and taught me how to freebase, and let me have sex with his friends... etc
I told him all about the junk L did with me from 13-17 when I moved on my own, and how I continued into my 20's and how hard it was to reach that point to want to be a better person and strive for something...
So we ended the phone call, on a good note.
He called me back 3rd time and was crying... he said he was so sorry for abondoning me and he had no clue he let me go into that life. He thought he was letting me leave to go to a better life, because my Father had money he would take care of me... he said he was ashamed of himself that he couldn't do better for his kids and he still feels we are his kids.
He said he should have protected us, it was his job.
It was a very touching phone call, I told him while he was indeed a horrible Dad, not many Men, would step up and adopt 2 kids that were not thiers, have the woman who they loved dearly leave them, keep the kids, while she commited suicide and still try to raise the family. I said it was admirable. I told him he would not be who he is today nor I... I have forgiven him. I said we all learn, we were all suffering and angry at that time.
I told him he came from a horrible place, went to a horrible place, yet he has made a wonderful life for himself with a very nice lady now...
I thanked him for the phone call, and said my own Father can't admit his own mistakes you are a much bigger person than him.
Everytime I think I am done with all of this stuff... something new.