im not sure where to begin and I am not going to lie I blame myself for all of this. My 18 year old son is depressed per a therapist. He will not go see another doctor to get on medications. We walk on eggshells to not upset him because I'm so scared he will hurt himself or someone else. He gets so angry when he lashes out. In the summer he was selling drugs and it was the first tough love I had to do "stop selling or get out" he did but to be honest if he didn't im not sure I could have kicked him out. I do goto therapy but I need more support. At this point due to the stress I am a walking hive all the time and it is affecting my 20 year old daughter as well. He thinks no one in our home knows except me so when he gets into these states it's all unloaded on me. Sometimes I wonder if he is doing drugs but I can't prove it. I was abandoned by my parents at 13-14 and I believe this is why I have such a hard time with the detachment. His older brother got him a part time job, because it is not what he thought he would be doing after graduation he hates it. Yesterday he must have looked distressed at work and the manager asked him what was wrong. Long story short he broke down at work. Then called me nothing I said made it better and everything I said was taken offensive. He told me he as leaving on a road trip. No money in his pocket, no gas in a truck he paid for but is registered and insured in my name that I pay. I told him if you want to go on a trip do it the right way. He left so I stood in the driveway and he drove his truck into the neighbors fence and left. He did come back and then started texting me how I made his day even worst and that he came to me for help and I make everything his fault. He asked me not to worry but when I say ok I won't worry he gets upset telling me not to make him feel quilty. He has mentioned hurting himself but he knows not to say that to the authorities. There is so much more but here is the some. I feel like I will never be able to stop enabling because I am so scared
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