30 year old nephew won't work, steals money from father's acct., and steals medication.

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Beverly Watts, Jan 16, 2017.

  1. Jean Douglas

    Jean Douglas New Member

    My brother in law won't believe his son is doing these things so I am asking for him since his lack of medication has put him in the hospital. He was a cancer survivor but I am afraid it has com back.
    His son refuses to work at age 30. My brother in law sent his mortgage payments with his son thinking they were paid. He sent the final payment with his son to pay. a month or so later they were removed at gunpoint in handcuffs from the home. The bank had already sold it. The son also goes to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions for his dad. These are necessary since he had cancer. The son brings them home but then takes them when his dad isn't looking. The son also took the debit card to the bank and stole all his dad's money, around $5000. The son lies constantly telling his dad how someone is going to give his dad $2,000,000, 2 new Ford vehicles from the factory. It is always tomorrow when this is going to happen. The son keeps the phone so his dad can't answer and find out the truth. We have been trying to get in touch with my husband's brother for 2 months and finally got him the other day. He refuses to believe his son is doing all this. What can be done about this son?
  2. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    How old is the dad?

    Try calling and reporting the situation to Aging and Disability Services. Sounds like it could be a case of elder abuse.

    It sounds serious, since a person could be in danger of losing his health or life. Call today.

    Can you talk to the dad right now, since he is in the hospital?

    I would alert the hospital staff, particularly the doctor in charge of your brother-in-law's case, and let them know what you have witnessed and are concerned about involving the medications and the abuse.

    Maybe he could be moved into a rehab center upon discharge?

    Sounds like he is not able to care for himself.

    Stay with us.

  3. Jean Douglas

    Jean Douglas New Member

    AppleCori, You said what I thought. My brother in law is only 50ish so I don't consider it elderly abuse. He has been in a state of depression for several years since his wife left for another woman, then he went to work for me and I had to fire him for insubordination, meanwhile he got a girlfriend of 4 years who broke up with him because she got pregnant by someone else, got cancer and given 2 months to live. He is capable of working but won't. His son has had several jobs but lost them, one because of stealing money. Charges were not pressed. So now the son lives off of Dad's Social Security Disability. The dad just won't admit that his son has a problem. Of course I have said the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He and my husband (his brother) just lost their mother a few months ago and I am sure that doesn't help his depression. The son was an honor student in high school. The dad doesn't know how to be a dad. He has contacted us more than once to have his big brother, my husband do something to help him correct his son. My husband has a Master's Degree.
    I told my husband to call the hospital and talk to the doctor and explain what is going on. He is going to but waiting to hear from his brother about what is wrong.
    I will keep you posted. Thank you for your wisdom.
  4. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    He probably wouldn't be considered elderly, but might qualify under his disability (cancer, not exactly a disability, but debilitating) or as a vulnerable person, because of his health.

    Sounds like he got his home repossessed, if I am reading that right. Does he have anywhere to go when discharged from the hospital? Since he is indigent, he should qualify for social services.

    If he has only two months to live, not sure he will be able to work much longer anyway. Better to get him into a care facility so he can be taken care of and comfortable for his last few weeks.

  5. Jean Douglas

    Jean Douglas New Member

    He did get it repossessed. He thought he had paid it off but his son didn't make any of the payments. My husband just talked to his brother and he went to Urgent Care instead of the hospital. UC told him he needed to go to the hospital but he wouldn't go. They gave him enough medicine until he could get another doctor. The one he had quit. But he said he was going to keep it on him at all times. I told my husband his son is just sitting around waiting for him to die. I looked up the definition of Sociopath and got 7 detailed pages telling me his son is a Sociopath. My brother in law has accomplished nothing and never will. He told my husband the man who owns the trailer they are living in said if he kicked out his son or had him arrested he would be kicked out too. I think we are going to try another avenue. He can get home care and Medicare will pay for it. I don't know if deputies can cross county lines or not but they can contact deputies in another county. We have a good friend who is a deputy that we have already talked to without going into a lot of detail. If the son were actually taking care of his dad that would be one thing but he isn't. He takes the phone and won't let his dad talk, goes through his wallet to get money so he can go get something to eat, then takes his dad's pills and goes to sleep. The last thing my husband promised his mom before she died was he would take care of his younger brother. His brother won't let him. You have your hands full and yet you take the time to help me. Thank you.
  6. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hello and welcome. Is that your real name? If so, I suggest that you change it for privacy reasons.

    I don't know what you can do if your brother in law was told what was happening and didn't believe it.

  7. Jean Douglas

    Jean Douglas New Member

    Thank you for alerting me. I changed it to another name. I admire you and your husband for teaching Math. I need a calculator to do the simplest Math (add, subtract, multiply, and divide). I don't know how I ever graduated.