I’m so glad I found this forum. I have a 33 year old difficult child who is homeless in CO. I live in the Midwest. I have read many of the posts on here and it is so comforting to know that I am not alone. My difficult child has been breaking my heart since he was 13. His bio dad dropped out of the picture when he was 4 never to be heard from again. I remarried a wonderful man who was more than happy to adopt my difficult child. Together we did the best we could. We offered a stable home and set the example of being responsible. However my difficult child has always had a very defiant nature. (very much like his bio dad). Over the course of years there were many court dates and jail time. We spent tens of thousands of dollars on family counseling but in the end he still chose to be defiant against all authority. When he was released after a two year sentence, I knew he would need some help to get on his feet so I flew out to CO and brought him to the Midwest. My husband and I purchased a small house for him to live in. (I knew better than to let him live with us) We told him that all we expected from him was to get a job and start living a responsible life. This was short lived, he met a girl and she got pregnant. They married and had two beautiful children. My husband and I continued to try and help. When my granddaughter was 2 ½ and my grandson 3 months old he left them. He went back to drinking and smoking pot, living his life on his terms. He eventually made his way back to CO where is now. During all this time he has had very little communication with me (he blamed for this too) A couple of years ago we were communicating via private messages on FB. He became very ugly and abusive in his words to me so I blocked him. After a week I unblocked him to find he had “un-friended” me. I was ok with this because I had gotten to the point that I had endured enough!! About a year ago I received a letter from him, he was in jail again. We wrote to each other for a few months. His letters sounded encouraging but I read them with guarded optimism as I had heard all these “positive” things before. Then the letters just stopped. My husband contacted the jail and he was told our difficult child had been released. This was about 6 months ago. Last night my sister called me and asked if I had seen what my difficult child had posted on FB. I told her I had not because he had “un-friended” me so she copied it and sent to me. Here is what he posted. *****Being alone is shittty I'm not any sort of priority to anyone not even my own mother tries to contact me I begged to receive correspondence in jail and nothing I wrote letters and accepted the fact I am not loved enough to even be the recipient of a post card. I don't know how to live in this world I am paionfully alone and if I were to disappear nobody would notice let alone care. Every passing day makes it all worse I have so much to be excited for, I get to wake up homeless by the river, I get to beg people for left over food so I don't starve, I don't recall my last human touch but it was probably a pat down by the cops, I am so over all off this I don't want any of it I am sadder than I have ever been***** Needless to say, it broke my heart to read this but also angered me because he outright lied about my not writing to him. This is what he does when he gets desperate, he wants people to feel sorry for him. I learned a long time ago that I am not to blame for the choices he has made. I put my life on hold for him for years because all I could focus on was him except for the one year I battled cancer then I had to divide my attention. What’s really hard is fighting the feelings about what others who read that post think of me and wonder how I could allow my son to be homeless. I know deep down inside it doesn’t matter what they think but I’m still human and I know I am not responsible for his situation. I gave him chance after chance to get his life together, there is nothing else I can do except pray for him. Thanks for letting me vent on this site.