I think the parents that have the hardest time stopping our codependent behaviors are the ones like me, always taught from an early age to 'be nice'. Some of the things I have done I did not view them as codependent, just things I had to do. But, I am learning, we do not have to do everything we are asked, even if we are viewed as an uncaring b****! I was volunteering for a well known organization for two years. I only chaired because I was guilted into it. I didn't really have the time or the desire to do the job, but I threw my self into it to try and build up our area. It is like beating my head against a wall and they keep trying to make it full time. A nurse was screaming at me about everything and I had watched her treat other volunteers the same way. I told the coordinator that I was actively looking for a replacement for my position. I came back from Christmas vacation and she has an article in the local paper aboiut the replacement. SHE DID NOT EVEN BOTHER TO TELL ME! I worked very hard for two years for them. Well, the replacement didn't show up and they called my friend to talk me into coming back. The coordinator can't be bothered I guess. Then the guilt trips started again. This time I said, 'no thanks'. Without the 'stop the enabling' training I would have felt obligated to go back. But, now I see it as their problem, not mine. Maybe they will learn to treat volunteers with a little more respect!