5yr old... difficult child or attention getting?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Blissful_Betty, Mar 2, 2011.

  1. Blissful_Betty

    Blissful_Betty New Member

    As a stay at home mom of 4, 16F in d/a rehab, 13M difficult child that is straining our family and 2 Pre-k... I'm starting to think perhaps I don't know what is "normal" anymore. My 4.75yr old (turns t in May) is showing signs of aggression, anger and is definitely showing signs of major listening/following direction issues. I realize that while some of this is to be expected As limit testing and some is mimicking older bro...and some is attention getting as sometimes I can redirect him by saying I need some luvs, a hug or that I think he's grumpy cause he needs some luvs...but I'm starting to get concerned that perhaps he is going to have issues too...which starts the thought...he's from a differnt dad than older 2...different genetics, perhaps it's my parenting...though I'm really trying and have been through all sorts of classes, books, programs with- 13M difficult child... I don't think I can do another 13 years of craziness... I'll end up in psychiatric hospital. How do I make sure that he doesn't really start following my older 2's antics? Is visiting with a mental health counselor a good idea right now??? Dad will prolly freak... he doesn't really believe in the mental health system... don't blame his perception basedon the particular history, but I don't want to wait if something is going on with my wee man... any thoughts?
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey Betty! Any chance of having a neuropsychologist done on him? The best part is that you can do it and decide from there. No one has to know that you had the testing done (which will keep Dad out of the mix) and you can work better with all of it if you have some sort of diagnosis.

    It's not unusual to feel the way you do. You've been dealing with a lot of stuff for a long time. Thinking that you've got 13 years ahead of you is DEFINATELY overwhelming - I know how you feel. difficult child 1 is 12 and Weeble is only 2. It's DAUNTING sometimes!

    I'd go the testing route. It'll either give you peace of mind OR point you in the right direction for treatment. One step at a time! I'd also suggest reading the Explosive Child...it might give you a few tricks to keep up your sleeve!

    Feel better honey! Many hugs and prayers headed your way!

  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Do you have easy access to child psychologists in the States? I feel that if it is a good person, every parent would benefit from this! When we lived in Morocco (where things run very much on French lines), I saw a child psychologist, recommended by my son's paediatrician because of his physical hyperactivity and intense tantrums. She only saw my son a couple of times and the rest of the time I saw her for "parental guidance", which was helpful. I feel it is definitely helpful, no matter what the age of the child, to be talking about your concerns and not to be alone with what is happening... You need hope and solutions, and a forum to express your fears. As you know, how you "manage" your son is very important in his development - not to place any guilt or blame on us as parents, obviously! - and I think it is absolutely never too soon to be talking to a good family therapist, if this is possible for you.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I recommend the neuropsychologist testing. They will do an intensive evaluation.

    Because of your older kids, it could be some hereditary problem...I doubt very much that it's your parenting. The best way to deal with it is to nip it in the bud with a good evaluation and then the proper interventions both at home and in school.
  5. Blissful_Betty

    Blissful_Betty New Member

    Thanks for all your responses,I will be checking in the neuropsychologist exams and finish reading the explosive child..difficult child 1 has had a trying day... so I am wiped, please forgive the short response, brain is in overdrive. Thank you again and I'll kep you posted.