Two hours ago I received a text from my daughter asking if she and her (guy) friend could spend the night because the two places she surfs couches were unavailable. Sigh. husband and I talked about it and quickly realized that having my daughter and her buddy stay here on Thanksgiving Eve, or really anytime, is a bad idea. I felt turmoil. I baked a pumpkin cheesecake. Then I did something I have never done before. I went back on this forum to when I first came here, just shy of 3 years ago and read my very first post. Then I read a bunch that followed.......... I remembered all the angst, the sorrow, the guilt, the anger.........and I could see how far I've come from that dark, dark place. I read for quite awhile. I began to relax inside. I am not responsible for my daughters poor choices. Because she doesn't handle her life, I am not going to put myself in an uncomfortable position. As husband said, once she is here, she will say she has nowhere to go and she will presume the onus is then on me. I also realized I don't have to explain or justify my choice. I texted her and said No, tonight won't work. And, that I love having she and her friend for dinner tomorrow, but staying here tomorrow night won't work either. That I hope she finds a place tonight, tomorrow and long term. And, that I love her. That's all. That's enough. I've done enough. I can't explain it, I don't understand it, but I feel a deep peace right now. God, I am so grateful that we humans can change. I wish my daughter a safe night.