Adult difficult child at the Grocery Store


Crazy Cat Lady
Backstory: About a month ago, I rolled my right ankle coming down my front steps. It hurt and swelled up about halfway above the joint.

This happens to me frequently because that ankle is unstable from an old injury that wasn't properly treated. Usually it lasts a week or two and then clears up.

So, I wrapped and iced the ankle and three days later drove 300 miles down to Milwaukee/Chicago to visit with friends and family. By the time I got out of the car, I could barely walk.

I didn't go to ER because I didn't want to get stranded away from home until whatever I'd done to it healed, especially if it was a fracture, which I was starting to suspect.

Fast-forward to when I got back from my visit.I went into my doctor as soon as I could get an appointment. She took a look at the leg, felt around, and sent me off for x-rays.

Turns out I had fractured my fibula about 2" above the ankle and had been walking around on it for two weeks. *DUH*. So, the orthopaedist who read the x-rays stated that the fracture was already healing, wasn't displaced, but the ends of the bone were overlapping slightly.

He wanted to re-break the fibula, line the ends up properly, and cast the leg. I opted for the "unsightly bump" he said I'd have.

Fast forward another 2 weeks. I am just out of the splint and wearing and ace bandage. My orders are to use it as much as possible, but to get off it and ice if it starts to swell.

Well, the weather the day before yesterday was miserable: cold and wet and blustery, and my healing fibula is the newest voice in the chorus of old injuries that picks up when the weather changes.

I HAD to go get groceries and the ankle was slightly swollen. I wrapped it and figured on using a handicapped scooter at the grocery store. I get there and there is one scooter. I put my purse and cane in the basket, and all of sudden there' this pregnant woman with a toddler on her hip screaming at me to "get my fat ass out of that cart, she needs it!"

First of all, you can't take a child in a scooter. Second of all, she was barely showing. In fact, the only reason I could tell she was pregnant was that she was wearing a tight-fitting shirt with her belly exposed.

I explained about my leg injury and she informed me that she didn't give a "flip" about my leg and repeated her order to get my ass out of the scooter.

I was thinking I was about to be in my first physical fight in 35 years. By this time, we've drawn a crowd of shoppers and employees who are trying to reason with this maniac.

I spied my opening, wheeled the scooter around, and headed for the produce department, shaking like a leaf. I was truly afraid that she'd be waiting for me when I got done checking out. In fact, I had them take my groceries to the side door so they could put them in my car. I went out of a different door to the one I'd come in from.

The young fellow who was loading my groceries caught me up on the situation after I left. The employees tried to throw her out of the store. She got (more) belligerent and the police were called. She was arrested and thrown in the back of a squad car where she waited until someone showed up to get the baby.

All this over a handicapped scooter?! If she'd been farther along and hadn't had the toddler with her, I would've let her have the cart. I realize it can be difficult for some late-term women to walk any distance.

I've used the carts at WalMart when my back or knees have been really bad and have had to wait for a cart to become available. I don't mind.I know when I need to use a scooter and I plan my time to allow for a wait for one.

In fact, once I got the OK for weight-bearing with a cane, I started going to this store for the bulk of my purchases BECAUSE I could walk it long before I could walk a WalMart Super Store (ours is huge)

It just happened that that was a day where I couldn't walk the smaller store.

As a sidenote: I do have a knot where the bone healed unevenly, but right now the torn ligaments in my ankle are bothering me worse than the fracture site. I don't care about the bump. I just am hoping that as healing continues, the danged thing will quit griping every time we have weather coming in.

That incident begs a question though: when on earth did people get so darned ANGRY?

in a daze

Well-Known Member
Wow. I worked on a hospital floor for both of my pregnancies on my feet for 8 or more hours, not 45 minutes like it would take this chick to go up and down the grocery store aisles...

Anyway, maybe you should have groceries delivered. It's not that expensive. Maybe it would be worth it for you, less hassle. And think of the winter coming up. It's supposed to be a really bad one in the Midwest.


Well-Known Member
I worked right up till the day I gave birth both times, and never once considered myself to be "handicapped". I got around just fine, thank you! That girl was either on drugs, missing some of her marbles, or she was just an :censored2:. I'd vote for #3. I feel very sorry for the child too.


Well-Known Member
Staff member
That's outrageous.
I too worked a full time job, with my crazy lupus going nutso, hardly any platelets left, arthritis, and as big as a house due to all the prednisone I was on...through 8 months when my water broke.


Yes, some entitlement?

What a horrible story. I'm glad she didn't wallop you and glad they called the police. Sad and frightening too. Thank goodness you are ok. What a miserable encounter.


Well-Known Member
There is no excuse for her actions. If she had a legitimate medical need (ordered to bed rest) all she had to do was see management and wait it out.

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Crazy Cat Lady
IAD, I live in a small town with two stores that sell groceries. One is a super WalMart. There is no way to get your groceries delivered up here. Believe me, there have been times I would've gone that route if the it was available.

I was wondering about drugs as well, or perhaps she was MI and off her medications due to the pregnancy. Mostly,I think she was just an entitled "female dog".


Well-Known Member
She was someone's difficult child. I wonder what other chaos and grief she is causing in her family if she can be so dysfunctional over a shopping cart!
Feel sorry for her parents.
Feel sorry for her children.
Even feel sorry for her - imagine how disliked she is.

I hope your ankle heals quickly.


Crazy Cat Lady
LucyJ, I am just starting to get to the point where I can envision feeling sorry for her in a bit, LOL!

Then I got home and discovered that someone had hit my car in the parking lot and scraped up my front bumper. It was not a good day at all.

The ankle is healing, it'll just take time.I did some research online and apparently it's normal to have pain and swelling up to a year after such an injury.

Add in that the ankle below the fibula and the knee above it are both shot to hell, and it'll take a while. I have exercises to do to strengthen those joints and have been doing them religiously.


Well-Known Member
You NEVER, EVER have to give ANYONE an excuse for why you need to use the scooter. Lot's of people have "invisible" disabilities. Sorry you had such a difficult time with such what sounds like an overly entitled witch! (being nice LOL)


Crazy Cat Lady
I gave a reason because I was so shocked by her outburst. And, the disability wasn't invisible. I had my cane with me.

Yes, "overly entitled" about covers it. I hate to say it, but the world doesn't stop because you're pregnant.

Part of the problem is that this store only has 4 scooters. Not enough to go around, apparently. This is the only time up here that I've encountered someone like that.

I think I did the right thing by just heading into the store. My one mistake was engaging her at all.

Between that one and the neighbor who is a few months along and greeted me with a cig in one hand and a 40 ounce malt liquor in the other, I'm starting to really wonder about preggos, LOL!

The neighbor is a sad case. This is her 4th child and this one, like the other three, will have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). When I first met her, she went off on me when I put out my cigarette as she walked up to me.

Anyways, I survived OK. I think if my social skills were a bit less "spectrum-y", I'd have handled it without getting so rattled.


Well-Known Member
I have a horrid invisible disability but don't always use the cart, sometimes I can use the exercise. Having said that once I was at Sam's Club and I saw an older woman RUNNING to a younger woman riding a cart demanding the cart for her husband and I am quoting here: "You don't look like there is anything wrong with you - give me the cart - you don't need it - my husband does!" I was just appalled at how mean and rude the old bitty was!!! Really I was angry but also a little embarrassed by the older woman's demands. Later I saw the younger woman in Sam's and I told her how I felt bad what had happened and she shared with me she has MS - so the moral of the story are there are both people out there with invisible disabilities and plenty of self-entitled people out there of all ages!


Crazy Cat Lady
My BFF has MS and Fibro, and my late husband suffered with a terminal illness that was invisible at first but cause fatigue and weakness. He had hassles with people over his disability all the time. The funniest was shortly after he'd had to go to walking with crutches.

He was heavily into the martial arts and between that and the crutches, had a very powerful upper body.

One day he went to Target. He parked in the disabled slot, got out of the car, pivoted on his good leg, and a little old lady the next car over started screaming at him about his parking in a handicapped slot. He shouted back, "Just a minute, ma'am" and opened the back door to get his crutches. Once he got himself organized, he crippled his way over to her car.

"What seems to be the problem, ma'am?" The old bat couldn't roll her car window up fast enough.

One thing he complained about was a lack of manners in the younger set. He rode the Elevated train (Chicago) quite often. Having only one working leg, it was difficult for him to stand on the train. He noticed that people his age or older would get up and offer him their seat. The kids either ignored him, or looked very pointedly in the other direction.

I think some of the same mentality was operating with this woman the other day.

in a daze

Well-Known Member
So do people think there are special doctors who one can bribe to get a handicapped sticker? Just like the opiate clinics? (I think the state eventually gets wise to them and shuts them down).

There will always be people who take advantage of the system. But I think there are people out there that don't believe in ANY

in a daze

Well-Known Member
Sorry...they don't believe in any entitlements. But it's ironic that that woman who was railing after your husband was probably on the the biggest entitlement program of all, MEDICARE!

I think Medicare is a good program. But some people don't believe that anyone should have ANY entitlements, even free ones like handicapped stickers.


Well-Known Member
This is a really contentious issue in the UK, where 'sickness benefit' is rife. There are, of course, many people here who are genuinely in need of sickness benefit, but there is also a culture of scrounging and 'playing the system'. It's a shame that this causes negative reactions sometimes and negative stereotypes in some of our less-salubrious newspapers.


Well-Known Member
Sorry in a daze but I don't consider Medicare to be an "entitlement". I've been on Medicare for a couple of years now since I retired. And I now pay more than twice as much (for less coverage) than I paid for my medical insurance when I was working. It's hardly a gift or charity from the government ! I pay dearly for it!


Crazy Cat Lady
I see people up here playing the system as well. I've had a kid actually tell me that his mom made him "act crazy" so she could get money. I had a hard time overcoming that stereotype as I'm disabled due to bipolar.

Yes, I walk with a limp due to arthritis, but that didn't stop me from working. I still get out and volunteer and I'm looking for a small part time job (we are allowed to earn a certain amount without losing our benefits). If I can handle that,it will enable me to put away some more $$ for my move downstate/to IL.

There have been scandals here with doctors being busted for taking bribes to write for handicapped placards.

It has caused some doctors to go too far in the other direction. The doctor I saw with my recent broken fibula refused to write for a placard despite my having obvious trouble walking.

In IL, my mother, who has spinal stenosis and Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) and trouble walking, cannot find a doctor who will give her the placard. Between abuse of that system and pain killer abuse, it is very hard to find a doctor who will give good care.

I am lucky that my doctor will rx pain medications for me if I need them. I think that will stop if I show the slightest signs of becoming an addict.


Crazy Cat Lady
Donna, I collect SSDI and a small VA widow's pension. I have medicare and ChampVA for my medical insurance.

I paid into those systems for thirty years. My VA pension has nothing to do with my disability. It is to compensate me for the loss of my late husband's earning capacity.

He earned that pension. Basically,I get half of what he got as a disabled veteran.

Medicare and SSDI/SSA are NOT entitlements. They are earned by contributing $$ throughout our working lives. SSI is an entitlement. It is a welfare program for those who are disabled but have not worked enough quarters to qualify for SSDI.

Up here, SSI and Medicaid are where we see the most abuses.

As a sidelight. I WISH, with all my heart that I could go back into the server farm and network operations that I for a living throughout my working life.I miss it terribly.