Adults refusing to go to special occasion because of difficult child behavior :(

[Confused]

Well, my son is getting his first Holy Communion Saturday on my dad now refuses to go because of my sons nasty rude and threatening behavior. Add my sons refusal to take medications, help clean his own mess and do homework ( he is failing may not pass-am talking to his teacher 2morrow). He calls us the nastiest things along with threatening us. Still gets violent and because of no medications building back the amount. I hide the medications in chocolate chip ice cream but still he knows.

My dad also always says to pull him out of scouts and the scout master says that would be the worse thing to do. So... is this normal of adults to stop wanting to do things even special days? I know, I get wiped out as we all do and dont want to go many places either.. but ... I don't know... ) (ooo son is slamming doors now cuz I wont let dogs in the living room.. he wont do his homework and I have to leave to my grandpas. )I told him he is staying here then tonight! Hes mad about that too. So is my dad!

Speaking of behavior.. my daughter still not wanting to come out and at least "act" half decent when company is around.. esp by good friend/kinda family member ) not real family but she might as well be) ugghhhh!!! So my dad said he's done with daughter too! Daughter has an appointment coming up.. Im talking to her Dr about all this.. they always say shes extremely shy with possible social anxiety and shes worse now because shes a teen with electronics. Hmmm.. adds to problems yes...

( oo how nice son just said hes gonna kill me because I wont let him let the dogs in living room again.. dogs are like wild bulls .. destroy lots and still having accidents.. we are letting them in the carpeted area slowly and just couldnt do that 2nd time in there today son cant except that) blah!!!

 

[pasajes4]

What are the consequences of son acting out or when he becomes violent? You can't force an adult to go if they don't want to go.

 

[BusynMember]

Your son really needs help. But he has to share it with so many people.

I would just let it go. You can not make anyone go and you will be there. Make it mandatory for your daughter. in my opinion you don't punish a child by not going to his Communion, but you can't stop what other people do or don't do. You can only control yourself. You are allowing your grandfather to control your happiness and YOU should be the only one in charge of that.

He sounds like a bigger difficult child than your kids because at least they are kids.

I'd rehome the dogs.

I

 

[Confused]

pasajes4, he loses all electronics, cant go out to stores or play with the neighborhood kids. I try not to take away his outside time by himself when he's punished because otherwise its wild here. But if he keeps up I will take the outside time away. I know I cant force the Adults to go, just sad.

MidwestMom, its my dad =my sons grandfather ( not my grandfather) but I know, its just sad he wont go. My dad has heart trouble and when he gets upset he gets chest pain, hes already a few TIA's and a stroke over the years. I know, my son was doing a lil better on the medications and its a battle literally trying to get him to take them again.. as we speak Im going thru it.. He needs further testing but the doctors refuse and say he is already diagnosed what he is those are his issues ( ADHD, Sleep issues is on paper but agree he is ODD and the violence( possibly ODD ) comes from the ADHD uggh.