Advice from fellow members needed UPDATE

[mom_in_training]

Well I left off on 3-26 and did in fact follow through with consulting my difficult children comrades within the police Explorer Program and alerted them to my difficult children bad choices of living on the streets along with the fact that she was using Meth. Well she never did get caught doing anything illegal surprisingly. She started calling me around the 13th saying that she wanted to come home. About a week or so prior to her calling me I had been informed through sources that she was not using and going cold turkey. Hmmmm, Sure I questioned it.... But all in all when I did see her she did appear to be drug free and volunteered to tell me that she had met a guy that basically had his teeth rotting out of his face (Meth Mouth) from the years of doing Meth and decided that day that she valued her teeth more then the drug. She met a guy that is 3 years older then her and she said that he helped her through it. I met him and he seems to be a good guy (But my guards are up!!) She has lost a lil weight but not enough to be unhealty and is in good spirits. I agreed to allow her back under certain conditions, No drug use at all, (Random testing) No Alcohol, Be respectful, Finish education, Get a job. So far so good, She has already contacted the school to resume her education and did fill out job applications last week. My guards are still up and and this point all I can do is sit back and hopefully see her continue going in the right direction. The only delemma I have is the fact that she is 18 and considering that she has been out of the home for almost two months (Living on the streets) with no rules or boundrys, She has the mindset that its ok to go visit whoever and not come home at all for the night. Hmmmm....(Did that last night) I want to treat her like an adult but at the same time think that she needs to prove herself as being a responsible adult by following a few rules to earn it or to have the comforts of a decent home to live in. I will not be the motel 6 or the HomeTown Buffet at her convenience. She is an adult and needs to start stepping up to earn her way just like we all did to have what we all have today.

 

[tracy551]

Regardless of her age it is your house. My oldest (easy child 1) is 18 almost 19 he works fulltime and still calls me (no matter what time) to tell me where he is and if he is coming home or staying at a friends. It's called respect. (I wish difficult child 2 had 1/4 of that attitude)
You have set rules as far as school and a job and drugs etc. She should also go by a "curfew" if she truely wants to stay clean and be a part of the family she will do it

 

[kris]

<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #333399"> jarrod is 20 & still lives at home. he still checks in about who he's with/where they will be, etc.

in my opinion it's simple courtesy to check in with-people you share a home with. i'd not make a fuss about her not coming home if she lets you know where she is...or at least not to expect her home.

kris </span> </span> </span>

 

[KFld]

You need to set the rules and she needs to agree to live by them, or find somewhere else to live.
Sounds like she may have seen the light and hopefully she will keep moving forward. Just tell her you don't sleep well at night unless you know where she is and that all you ask for is a simple phone call letting you know she won't be home. It's called respect and courtesy :smile: