Ahhhh, fantasy land

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Nov 15, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    kt has been telling everyone & their brother that she sees wm on a daily basis; that we are getting his room ready for him moving back home & that they "know how to be brother & sister".

    Yesterday, in the same breath, to her in home therapist, she commented that wm is scary & he has hurt her.

    I'm getting calls with concerns over wm coming home (like it's the school's business or anything); however this talk has trickled over to mental health case manager (who'd already been informed by husband) & CADI manager (same).

    wm, on the other hand, doesn't see a reason to be bothered by kt.

    kt is living a fantasy family life. The life we had planned together, but didn't work out. She's refusing to listen to reason so we just listen & point out a "parents" concern. I preface things by saying "kt, if you were the mom here, what would you honestly do to keep your other children safe?"

    The amazing thing is that kt expresses her concerns over her family's safety & wouldn't do anything different.

    In the meantime, she's been acting out & yelling at tdocs & other in home workers that they are the reason that she can't see wm right now.

    Attachment tdocs, SWs, mental health CM, husband & myself are planning a 10 minute face to face visit in the first 2 weeks of December.

    I believe that kt just needs to see wm a couple of times a month & this anxiety/fantasy will lessen.

    "Mom, none of this is right". Boy are you right, ktbug.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Poor ktbug. I'm sorry her anxiety is so high. I hope the visits will help with the anxiety and her fantasy. You and kt are right that none of this is right. Gentle hugs my friend.
  3. Janna

    Janna New Member


    I wonder if some of this is preempted by the upcoming holidays? Not that it would make it easier, but sometimes the explination helps to prepare for next time.

    I'm sorry kt is struggling. Your patience and understanding of her completely amaze me.
  4. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Isn't it amazing that even though the relationship has been toxic (I am referring to my difficult children) they can still have that craving of sorts. I know we are planning a phone call (can't even fathom a face to face at this point) between our two difficult children. Hope this goes well for you.

  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    I was thinking the same thing as Janna. Think back to the worst time of year for kt - is it now? I am betting it is.

    In fact, I think it is wm's worst as well.
    This might need to be planned for. Especially with visits.

    It will be dealt with by tdocs to help them begin to recognize when they need to step up their own efforts at maintaining.

    Poor kt! Poor you - it must just break your heart.

    :flower: and a hug for you!