Am I a terrible person?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by muttmeister, Apr 26, 2011.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    OK, I screwed up again. so what's new!

    difficult child 2's 6 year old daughter lives with me most of the time. On Easter Sunday, I took her to Sunday school as usual. Then she went to church with my mother and me. When church was over, I was heading home to cook dinner for 12 people. Before church, I had stopped at daughter in law's to watch the other two grandkids while she went to buy candy for their Easter baskets (there's nothing like planning ahead, is there?) Anyway, she asked me if I was going to leave off granddaughter so she could get her Easter basket. I said I'd see what she wanted to do. was over; I dropped granddaughter off at her mother's house. I waited in the car to be sure she got in OK, then waited a few minutes, thought everything was OK, and drove off. Well...everything was not OK. IN the meantime a friend had called and asked daughter in law to bring the two smaller kids to their house for an Easter egg hunt. So 6 year old was left home alone. They live across the street from another church. Friend found granddaughter crying in the yard because nobody was home. Friend called my other difficult child to get a phone number for somebody to call and while she was talking to him, daughter in law pulled up in her car to rescue 6 year old.

    Bottom line: Grandma messed up. Kid was alone for between 5 and 10 minutes. No damage but an unfortunate situation. Problem: somebody called the police so we are now the focus of an investigation. difficult child father of 6yo is in jail for 11 days for a minor offence (another long story). He called tonight, all upset. Mother is upset because of police involvement. I guess I need to go talk to police tomorrow and tell them I am the bad guy. Am I a terrible person or is this all being blown out of proportion?
  2. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Honestly, daughter in law should have told you she was leaving or left a note on the door. Being home alone for 5-10 minutes is not a big deal. I think it's being blown out of proportion.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Are you a fortune teller? Do you have x-ray vision? How were you supposed to know there was no one home? Does she always leave the house unlocked when she's not home? It was an honest mistake that is being blown WAY out of proportion. It was only a few minutes. Give yourself a break.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    It's being blown out of proportion.

    Such things can happen and do. Good thing is there was an observant neighbor not afraid to get involved.........and that granddaughter was only alone a few mins.

    You're not a mind reader. Why didn't granddaughter come back to the car and tell you no one was home?

    If it were me? I'd explain to the police it was a simple mix up, and after this, no doubt that it will never happen again.

  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Agree with others. Simple mistake that can happen to the best of parents and probably has to most even the ones who work in CPS! If they claim they never screw up, they have never been a parent or their kids are under 6
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I agree with the others. Stuff happens.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, gawd. What a crazy day.
    I hope it's all been straightened out by now.
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Police investigation? That's crazy talk! My easy child works at a daycare and more often than anyone wants to admit, kids fall asleep on the bus and go unnoticed until easy child starts making calls to find out where the kid is. Seriously, the driver once brought the bus back to the lot, locked it up and left! There was a 5 y/o asleep in the back!

    What happened with granddaughter was an innocent mistake! Don't your coppers have drug busts and murders to investigate instead of picking on a loving grandma? I hope it goes well. Let us know if they proceed.
  9. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    You waited until she got inside. You waited a few more minutes to be sure everything was okay. You had every reason to think everything was fine, and from now on (I expect) you will walk her in yourself until she is in the presence of a responsible adult or until she gives you some signal that all is fine. Why was the door unlocked with no one home? Why didn't she come back out right away and let you know? Life happens, no harm was done, you'll both know better next time to prevent it occurring again.
  10. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    To answer some of your questions, we live in a SMALL town. It is normal for people to leave their doors unlocked. No, the police don't have drug busts and murders to investigate. They might nab some kid smoking pot but that's about as far as it goes. The last murder in this county was at least 10 or more years ago. MOstly they pick up drunks, rescue stray cats, and stick their noses in things that are none of their business. However, they are "out to get" difficult child - perhaps he deserves it, but he was not in on this. I have known the cop in question since he was a kid. I'll go try to find him this AM; hopefully he will be reasonable. The bad thing about a small town is that everybody knows everybody else's business and there is always a Mrs. Busybody wanting to get involved.
  11. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I still think 6-y/o should have come back out and told you no one was there... You said you waited a couple of minutes after she went in.

    What a mess. 10 minutes. PFFFFT.
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I get the unlocked doors deal. I haven't locked mine in oh about 15 yrs since we moved to this town. Well, ok started locking it in october when M came to town.

    But granddaughter should have come out and said no one was did wait a few mins, not like you drove right off. But still, such things do happen.

    Happened with darrin not long ago...........he had a mix up on where to go after school. They live half a block away down the alley. Nana realized at 4pm and he still wasn't here.......he'd went home instead. Sent papa to fetch him. easy child also leaves her house open. He was maybe alone 5-10 mins. easy child just is more careful to tell him whether it's their house or Nana's house after school.

    Hope they listen to you.

  13. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    When Wee went to the early intervention preschool, he rode a bus and the bus dropped him off at the sitter at noon. One day, the sitter had gone to the dr in the morning, and an accident on the highway had blocked her getting back home on time. The bus was running early. We were at a luncheon after a funeral and saw it go by just before the sitter called and asked me to call the school and tell them she'd be there asap. So, I called the transportation director AND the sped director and told them both what happened. They both said no big deal, they'd deliver the other kids first, then take Wee. So, we went on about our lunch. We got a panicked call a half hour later from the sitter who said her dad had been there and said he saw the bus as he left, so she assumed the bus dropped him off, but she didn't know where he was. We called the school, and they radioed the bus driver, who had never gotten the message, and dropped him off like normal. The sitter lived in a small subdivision several miles out of town and when Wee couldn't get in her house, he had gone to the neighbor's. The neighbor lady had given him lunch and they were just waiting at the kitchen table for sitter to get home and pick him up.

    He was 4. And aside from the school really dropping that ball, it was an honest mistake on the part of those directly involved, and all's well that ends well. How was the bus driver to know? How was the sitter to have "beaten" the traffic of an accident? How were we to know the school didn't call the driver?

    So if you're awful, so are we. And I'm pretty certain you aren't awful, anymore than we are, sitter was, or bus driver was. in my humble opinion, actually, sitter and bus driver were pretty much God-sends....
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911

    My guess is someone doesn't like your son, not crazy about your daughter in law and anything they can do to get THEM into trouble is what they are doing. I'd go talk to the cops and explain. That should solve it all. Just tell them next time you'll walk her in the house and not sit in the car, and watch her go in the house. Just need better communication wtih daughter in law-weed. UGH.
  15. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Oh gosh, that was an honest mistake. I am sorry about all the drama to follow. Don't beat yourself up. ANYONE can make the exact same mistake.
  16. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Well, I went in and talked to them this morning and I THINK it is all taken care of. Now we'll wait and see if another shoe drops.