Decided to post this in Parent Emeritus instead of substance abuse because my son is over 18 and drugs are no longer just the issue. My son will be 24 this year (2016) and I've exhausted ALL efforts to have a relationship with him. I'm done being a parent, I did my job. I raised this boy from 2 months until now and it's been nothing but a struggle with this kid. All thru school he just seemed hell bent on causing problems and creating chaos. I stuck up for him and defended him when his teachers and principals called complaining about him. He was labeled ADHD before anyone knew what that was, he was on the Ritalin, Adderal, it was all just a nightmare for me as a mother. He was placed in Special Education classes because of his ADHD, managed to graduate high school and then that's where it all went downhill. In trouble with the law, smoking pot, being defiant, quitting jobs, getting fired from jobs... it just never ended with this kid. I kicked him out numerous times only to feel bad and let him back in, things got worse, kicked him out for good then tried to re-establish some sort of relationship to let him know his mother loved him but he had to grow up and fend for himself. Lies, legal problems, verbal abuse, more lies, it just never ends. This kid of mine has issues I cannot help him with and no matter what I do, he retaliates against me and blames me for everything. I made one last effort tonight to reach out to my son, as a mother who would do anything for my child and who literally sacrificed 23 years to try and steer him onto the right track, I was once again slapped in the face. I asked my son to have dinner with me. He was excited, showed up on time but when he showed up, begged me to buy a new battery for his car that he was having problems with. Said he needed it because he is starting a new job on Monday as a plumber's apprentice. So while I'm hungry and wanting to go to dinner, I agree to buy him a new battery for his car. STUPID ME. He was all nice when he showed up, but quickly asked me if I'd do him a favor and buy him a new car battery. After spending over $100 on a new battery (his Christmas present since I didn't get him anything for Christmas) we then go to dinner. As we are eating he starts berating me (sp?) for kicking him out of th house, then he goes on and on about how I constantly "rag" on him about his pot smoking, and from there the conversation just went totally downhill. Before I knew what was happening his mood went from being nice too "I hate you" within seconds. My son obviously hates me for all of HIS problems, still has ZERO respect for me, and does not appreciate anything I do for him at all. This was my last gesture.... I'm officially done being a parent. I will never be able to trust this kid, rely on him when I might need him one day, he will never change, he will lie until his last breath. As I paid for our nice dinner, he sat agitated, got up and walked out of the restaurant ahead of me, held the door open for me like he was doing me a huge favor and then he race walked to his car, got in and took off. He was saying condescending things to me as he walked away. I was just shocked... I got in my car and cried the whole way home. When I got home I packed up all the photos of us/him, put them away. Went into his old room and packed up several boxes of his things, then just sat and told myself this is it. My son has serious mental issues. His teachers and my friends always mentioned this to me but I always defended my son but now I truly see he has a screw loose. Something is wrong with him. His wiring is off. The drugs and partying - that's a whole other issue but I honestly see, there is something OFF with my son. It scares me and I am just done trying to have a relationship with this kid. All I do for him and to yell at me and blame me and treat me the way he does.... it's abusive and troubling. I see the signs, he has serious anger issues and I'm afraid he will do something really crazy. He is not right in the head. I tried talking to him and he just went off on this tangent... he hates me so at this point. I AM DONE. For my sanity and safety - I'm done and cutting off all contact. I tried, my son is no longer my son. He has become sadistic in the way he treats me and I need to get as far away as I can. Makes me sick he's become like this. I'm already heartbroken, now I'm just numb. How can anyone be this evil towards their own mother? I was simply trying to have a nice dinner with my son and I was used and abused and then left at the curb of the restaurant with my head spinning. I'm done. This time I am 100 percent, totally done with this kid. I have never in my life ever known or met anyone as ungrateful as my own son. I give up.