Another not so fun day, police, ambulance, ick.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Apr 29, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Q was playing outside with a little boy and his sister and while bending over picking up balloons he bumped her and she fell and cried and went in to tell on him (yes, she is five and cries and tells a lot). I heard him apologize like four times. he ran home and I said to him that it was an accident so dont worry we can just explain I went with him but the brother said I didn't see it but she is my sister so I believe her...well I was close by and they were playing nicely so I know he didn't just push her for nothing, they were bent over. And he stuck to his story which never happens when he lies. He started coming at me etc... finally I had to call 911 for help and he couldn't calm so we went to the psychiatric hospital. He was calm there except a little loud at times. I told him he is not going out anymore. We have had enough of that risk. Until he has a super long time of no outbursts he is only going on activities with me and Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) not any free play outside, it is just too hard for him. He is really mad about that but I can't risk it. Neighbors are crabby and gossiping and running out of patience.

    I have not received a lease renewal and I suspect they are going to try to do something.

    I'd actually like to move but have no money to do so. If they say I have to leave I have no where to go. No money to move or store anything.

    And we have to stay in the district because they are paying for the new school and you have to be referred, if we moved it is not like the new school is a district we could move into.

    Luckily our psychiatrist was on call and she called me, I told her I have noticed that by day 5,6,7 of the Clonidine patches these things happen more. She said they usually rx for every 4 days though they have to fight insurance, it seems to work that way for this purpose. So I changed them while we were at the hospital. She also said to up the zyprexa again so we started that tonight.

    Ugg this level of stress is just too much.

    We went to church tonight, he asked to. He was really good and wants to go again. then we went to the park and hung out until 8:30 and then went to get some groceries and home. He just took a shower, he is great 90% of the time then the 10% wrecks the whole thing. I am worried I will have a stroke or heart attack, when this stuff happens I walk through it as if nothing is wrong but inside I can feel the stress so intently. I am strugging so much with money issues right now and tomorrow is the IEP, I still haven't heard anything about the psycho charges (law center things I just never will)....blah blah blah blah, sorry for the whine.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Have you discussed all this with C also? As a disability lawyer, what does she say about you guys being "kicked out" of your home? There HAS to be something to prevent it. My only other thought is to go after psycho. He abused your son. The school KNOWS he was wrong or they wouldn't have sanctioned him in any way and he wouldn't have tried to go after Q in retaliation. Then you could move somewhere nicer?!?! Just a thought. I know you avoid conflict but dammit, he hurt your son. That still ticks me off big time. Ok, vent over....

    Sorry Q is having such a hard time but it's a very good thing you've hit on part of the cause. You've already got issues with insurance and these patches. Is there a grievance procedure that you and psychiatrist can go through to get him approved for every 4 days instead of once a week? If it's medically necessary, I don't see why there should be such an issue. It might be worth checking into?

  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Yeah, she said she would fight hard to get him the every four days....He needs every edge we can give him.
  4. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm so sorry. I thought your neighbors were so understanding just a few months ago. I guess every ones patience has limits. Its happened to most of people who come to be friends with me. They just don't understand the difficult children or my reaction to them and can't understand about things like poop on the walls. That is why this board is so important.

    You're not whining. You have lots on your plate and need to talk to someone. Court hanging over your head is very stressful even if probably nothing will come of it. Is there any way to contact the police or DA to ask about it? Just for your piece of mind? I agree with the law center that psycho would be very stupid to press the matter but then I might be to generous of my assessment of his intelligence.

    I'm glad you got to go to church. I hope it helped you.

    Sorry about the moving worry. I hope that you don't have to move.
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Good catch that the patch wearing off is part of the problem...
    While Q doesn't like not having "free play", he isn't ready for it. Unfortunately, that leaves MORE on your plate.

    Is the advocate up to date on the housing issue?

    There just HAS to be alternatives to all of the overhead issues (food, housing, medications... ).
    Even if it means taking psycho to court... but THAT will take too long in the short run.

  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am sorry you have so much stress. I totally understand about the free play, it is just more than he can handle.

    PLEASE talk to the law advocate about the housing thing. I have a feeling she can help in some way. There have to be some resources to help you.

    Please figure out a way to get some help for the stress. Is there a free clinic where you could go for some help with medications? Or could your family help you with the cost of the dr? I know you hate to ask, but it is better to lose the pride and get help than to have a heart attack, blood clot or stroke and leave Q with no one who really can help him. He would be so scared and upset, and that is a big reason why we parents MUST care for ourselves.

    As for psycho, let the law advocate sue him for you and Q. He hurt your child and should be IN PRISON, not in a school. You and I both know he purposely egged Q on as often as he could just so he could have an excuse to hurt Q. You have the evidence to stone cold nail him to a wall, and any settlement could do really good things for Q and you.
  7. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    No great advice this morning, just lots of hugs being sent your way... SFR
  8. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Buddy, I'm sorry for all the worries.
    I know you have a lot to consider and I'm obviously not aware of all of it. But would it be possible to move to a more remote area? Where there is not that much temptation (ie: no kids playing outside, houses far apart....). Even if that is not possible at all, you could still contact a real estate agent, explain your unique situation and see if she/he could help. Real estate agents are for buying AND renting. And asking questions does not cost you a thing.
    Vent to us all you want, we are here for you.
  9. Hope2

    Hope2 bluemoon

    Buddy...I am a newbie and appreciated the words of encouragement you have given me...I have no expertise on these matters and being here for less than a week don't know about all you are I just send you hugs and will keep you in my positive thoughts............just wanted you to know that I care....
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Thank you to each and every one of you. It means a lot. He woke and got ready pretty well, only some grumbles right at time to go to the bus. (transition stuff as usual)...but the morning had no yelling or even arguments, just the repeated cues to get ready, and even that was not much....

    Just waiting for the next issue, I feel like I can't trust any good moment anymore. The doctor at the hospital said the same as everyone, he tells all his patients parents...when they go through their growth spurt, you will be here a lot. He said to me not to worry if I need to come again and again, it is ok, that is what they are for. This is a really new behavioral center, though even when I was in college and the hospital was under a different name, I went there for an outpatient program and it was really a nice group of people.

    Well, today I have our first IEP meeting with the new district, it is mostly going to be to update the BIP, which is kind of a bummer (not updating that, but not being able to update the rest too, just wont be enough we are scheduling another meeting while we are there). OUr home behavior people as well as the disability law advocate will be there. Glad for it.

    Will update after we come home tonight.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    You are not whining at all. Those are totally legit gripes.
    I'm so sorry you had to go to the hospital, but so glad you are getting a grip on the medication issues.
    I agree with-the others, to get an advocate for your housing issues. Moving would mix up things too much.
    I'll look for your update.
  12. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Sending big hugs and I will continue to u both in our prayers as always. Rabbit
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    The meeting will go well, and you may be surprised... sometimes, when things are obvious and go smoothly, there is time to deal with a few "other" things, too... here's hoping!
  14. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    So sorry Buddy. I take the point that Q is perhaps not able to play freely with other kids and yet... an incident like this one could, and does, happen with ALL kids. An accidental or over-brusque bump, a smaller child getting upset. It is so sad. I can fully relate about the gossiping neighbours! Surely they cannot just decide not to renew the lease on these grounds? I agree, you must get legal advice on this, stave off that particular avenue of worry. I too fantasise about a remote property with its own grounds and like you am inhibited by financial factors but I wonder if it would even be a good thing. You need ready access to people and services if need be.
    So sorry... it seems to be one thing after another. Just keep doing your best, as you do, and let the results unfold as they will. Easy to say, I know... Hugs.
  15. I'm looking forward to hearing your update on the IEP meeting. My hopes and prayers that it went very well for you today.
  16. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Good luck today.
  17. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    Hugs Buddy - don't have any magic answers over here. Was looking at signature do any of those medications address the seizure issues? Sorry my mind is about gone can't remember what a couple of those do.

    Glad you have backup for your meeting - when get your armor put away let us know how it went