donna723
Well-Known Member
This really isn't my own problem, I guess I just want to know if this sounds right since I'm not very knowlegeable about these things. I hope this doesn't get too long and that it makes sense.
I have a beautiful 24 year old niece, my brother's daughter, who seems to be throwing her whole life away, and it's not just her own life anymore. This girl could have had any guy she wanted, but instead she settled in with one who is the absolute pits! We'll call him "Bozo". He's an abusive bully, drinks too much, does drugs, starts fights, only works when he feels like it ... you get the picture. They broke up, got back together, broke up again. When she was living at home she did well, had a decent job, bought a nice car. When "Bozo" heard she had a new car, he decided he wanted her back and she went! When she was with him she lost weight, had migraines, was a general wreck, both physically and emotionally.
She also had very severe endometriosis and made many trips to the ER with unbearable pain and heavy bleeding. She was given Vicodin (or so she says) for the pain. Her gyn told her that if she intended to have children she shouldn't wait because she could be looking at a hysterectomy at a very young age. Within a month she was back with Bozo and they were married, another month or two and she was pregnant. She now has a bright, happy, gorgeous little boy, almost two. A week after he was born (by c-section) Bozo wanted to go bar hopping and wanted her to go with him, so she left the baby with her parents and she went, even though she had just had a baby and had an infection! Since then, he has spent every weekend with my brother and his wife, and the "weekends" grew to four or five days a week. Bozo cannot party with the baby around and the niece puts him first - always - so the baby stays with the grandparents, who are really the only stability he has! Bozo and the niece's life is chaotic, neither one is working now, bill collectors after them, rent is unpaid, house full of his loser friends constantly. And in two years Bozo has not contributed one single dime towards his son's support. My brother and sister in law buy his food, clothing, diapers and toys and they pay his medical bills. They do it not to help their daughter, but to make sure the baby has the things that he needs. They adore this baby and are devoted to him but they didn't intend to have to start all over raising a second family at their age!
OK, now the clincher! Apparently the niece has become dependent on the medication she has been taking. She's tells her parents that it's Vicodin, but they really only know what she's told them. She's gone to a local doctor (one that doesn't know his hiney from a hole in the ground!) and he put her on "something else" to get her off the Vicodin. She told her parents that the recommended drug for what she was taking was methadone but she didn't want to take that - could that possibly be right?? I don't know a lot about it but I always thought methadone was only used for heroin addiction. So now here's the REAL clincher! Whatever this is that she's taking, the doctor told her that she shouldn't even think about becoming pregnant again while she was on it! Stupid doctor to assume that she was responsible enough to follow directions! So, guess what! She kinda "forgot" to take her birth control pills and now she's pregnant again! My brother (he's 58) will end up raising and supporting another grandchild! They are worried about their daughter's medical condition and having another pregnancy - she's fairly tall and weighs 98 pounds now! But most of all they're worried sick that there will be real problems with this new baby, considering all the medications she's been on (and abused) and the fact that she was told NOT to get pregnant while she was on it!
Does anybody know if this sounds right, or if it could be total B.S. that she's telling her parents? Would methadone be prescribed to get someone off of Vicodin? And if they didn't want to take methadone, would something else be given instead? And if there's a standard "something else", how dangerous is it really for the baby she's carrying? Honestly, when I look at my beautiful little two year old great nephew, I just want to cry thinking that his little brother or sister could be getting the short end of the stick!
If you've made it this far, you deserve a medal! I didn't do very well at keeping it brief, but if anyone knows anything about all this, I'd appreciate being clued in.
I have a beautiful 24 year old niece, my brother's daughter, who seems to be throwing her whole life away, and it's not just her own life anymore. This girl could have had any guy she wanted, but instead she settled in with one who is the absolute pits! We'll call him "Bozo". He's an abusive bully, drinks too much, does drugs, starts fights, only works when he feels like it ... you get the picture. They broke up, got back together, broke up again. When she was living at home she did well, had a decent job, bought a nice car. When "Bozo" heard she had a new car, he decided he wanted her back and she went! When she was with him she lost weight, had migraines, was a general wreck, both physically and emotionally.
She also had very severe endometriosis and made many trips to the ER with unbearable pain and heavy bleeding. She was given Vicodin (or so she says) for the pain. Her gyn told her that if she intended to have children she shouldn't wait because she could be looking at a hysterectomy at a very young age. Within a month she was back with Bozo and they were married, another month or two and she was pregnant. She now has a bright, happy, gorgeous little boy, almost two. A week after he was born (by c-section) Bozo wanted to go bar hopping and wanted her to go with him, so she left the baby with her parents and she went, even though she had just had a baby and had an infection! Since then, he has spent every weekend with my brother and his wife, and the "weekends" grew to four or five days a week. Bozo cannot party with the baby around and the niece puts him first - always - so the baby stays with the grandparents, who are really the only stability he has! Bozo and the niece's life is chaotic, neither one is working now, bill collectors after them, rent is unpaid, house full of his loser friends constantly. And in two years Bozo has not contributed one single dime towards his son's support. My brother and sister in law buy his food, clothing, diapers and toys and they pay his medical bills. They do it not to help their daughter, but to make sure the baby has the things that he needs. They adore this baby and are devoted to him but they didn't intend to have to start all over raising a second family at their age!
OK, now the clincher! Apparently the niece has become dependent on the medication she has been taking. She's tells her parents that it's Vicodin, but they really only know what she's told them. She's gone to a local doctor (one that doesn't know his hiney from a hole in the ground!) and he put her on "something else" to get her off the Vicodin. She told her parents that the recommended drug for what she was taking was methadone but she didn't want to take that - could that possibly be right?? I don't know a lot about it but I always thought methadone was only used for heroin addiction. So now here's the REAL clincher! Whatever this is that she's taking, the doctor told her that she shouldn't even think about becoming pregnant again while she was on it! Stupid doctor to assume that she was responsible enough to follow directions! So, guess what! She kinda "forgot" to take her birth control pills and now she's pregnant again! My brother (he's 58) will end up raising and supporting another grandchild! They are worried about their daughter's medical condition and having another pregnancy - she's fairly tall and weighs 98 pounds now! But most of all they're worried sick that there will be real problems with this new baby, considering all the medications she's been on (and abused) and the fact that she was told NOT to get pregnant while she was on it!
Does anybody know if this sounds right, or if it could be total B.S. that she's telling her parents? Would methadone be prescribed to get someone off of Vicodin? And if they didn't want to take methadone, would something else be given instead? And if there's a standard "something else", how dangerous is it really for the baby she's carrying? Honestly, when I look at my beautiful little two year old great nephew, I just want to cry thinking that his little brother or sister could be getting the short end of the stick!
If you've made it this far, you deserve a medal! I didn't do very well at keeping it brief, but if anyone knows anything about all this, I'd appreciate being clued in.