Since our son has been sober since October and relatively stable, I'm posting here instead of the PE forum. I think it's appropriate as he has so many issues (seem to be slowly getting better, but so many not even listed below that it makes my head spin. For example, some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), a little borderline personality, and social anxiety thrown in to spice things up for the major ingredients which are depression, non verbal learning disability and addiction history).
We were out to dinner at 7 pm when he called. Would we like to drive up to the North side and meet him for dinner? Well, no.
This is the dreaded Saturday night phone call which he makes to my husband, not me (either he knows they upset me, or he knows I am not as sympathetic as years past, or whatever)
When asked what was going on, he replied that he didn't feel like talking about it.
Now I saw him three days ago, and he looked and sounded good. He's had his job for two years, and hasn't called off since November (he would call us when he would call off, upset and afraid for his job). He was well groomed. He sees therapist twice a week and therapist reports he is very engaged in the therapy. He goes to improv class for his social anxiety. He takes his medications and sees his psychiatrist. His credit card debt is now below 2000.00 (ugh, we really got on his case about this). He showed me his statement, he's been paying it down. He left a voicemail for the career counselor (we think he's ready for full time work).
He has made a few friends but when they move out or move on he doesn't make the effort to keep in touch because of maybe his social anxiety or his passive nature.
He's doing so many good things on so many levels, but it really bothers us that a young man wants to hang out with his parents on any Saturday night, and would do so every Saturday night if we were so inclined.
Suggestions like go to a meeting, or go to the gym, etc., are all shot down.
Praying he meets a woman, or something.
I had an uncle who lived with my grandparents until he was 38 years old. He never dated or went to dances, until a family with three daughters moved across the alley. He started dating one of the daughters, and my grandparents were very upset. He was supposed to be the Irish bachelor and stay home and take care of them! They got engaged, and my grandfather told his fiancee off. They got married anyway.
This is such the opposite of what we are feeling.
Thanks for listening!
We were out to dinner at 7 pm when he called. Would we like to drive up to the North side and meet him for dinner? Well, no.
This is the dreaded Saturday night phone call which he makes to my husband, not me (either he knows they upset me, or he knows I am not as sympathetic as years past, or whatever)
When asked what was going on, he replied that he didn't feel like talking about it.
Now I saw him three days ago, and he looked and sounded good. He's had his job for two years, and hasn't called off since November (he would call us when he would call off, upset and afraid for his job). He was well groomed. He sees therapist twice a week and therapist reports he is very engaged in the therapy. He goes to improv class for his social anxiety. He takes his medications and sees his psychiatrist. His credit card debt is now below 2000.00 (ugh, we really got on his case about this). He showed me his statement, he's been paying it down. He left a voicemail for the career counselor (we think he's ready for full time work).
He has made a few friends but when they move out or move on he doesn't make the effort to keep in touch because of maybe his social anxiety or his passive nature.
He's doing so many good things on so many levels, but it really bothers us that a young man wants to hang out with his parents on any Saturday night, and would do so every Saturday night if we were so inclined.
Suggestions like go to a meeting, or go to the gym, etc., are all shot down.
Praying he meets a woman, or something.
I had an uncle who lived with my grandparents until he was 38 years old. He never dated or went to dances, until a family with three daughters moved across the alley. He started dating one of the daughters, and my grandparents were very upset. He was supposed to be the Irish bachelor and stay home and take care of them! They got engaged, and my grandfather told his fiancee off. They got married anyway.
This is such the opposite of what we are feeling.
Thanks for listening!