Another wake up call


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I posted earlier about getting my wake up call regarding my weight when I was in the store's dressing room and found out I went from a size 14 jeans to a size 18. I wasn't going to weigh myself for awhile so I wouldn't look at the scale and get discouraged.

Well for some reason I decided to get the new scale out and weigh myself this morning anyway. I am appalled to say that I now weigh 186 pounds. I am officially the fattest I have ever been in my life. 3 years ago I weighed 120 pounds and went up to 171. I went on Weight Watchers and got down to 154. I went off my diet, got a horrible new boss who is giving me work I can't handle, and gained 32 pounds in 4 months due to binge eating.

I feel utterly gross and disgusting. My boyfriend says I'm beautiful regardless of my weight. Of course he's going to say that just to make me feel better. Not to mention that he's 400 pounds so to him I must seem skinny. He is having gastric bypass surgery in the next couple months so he can lose approximately 200 pounds. Lucky him. He gets to do it the easy way and drop off massive amounts of weight in a short amount of time. I have to do it the hard way by dieting and exercising. But I am determined to do it. I just feel a little bit lost and discouraged. Could use some kind words right now.


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I now weigh 186 pounds. I am officially the fattest I have ever been in my life. 3 years ago I weighed 120 pounds and went up to 171
You were very brave to weigh yourself.

The same thing happened to me. 127 to 194. Now I am down to low 170's. I want to get to 155 which would be within healthy range, and then hopefully below 140.

These things happen to us. We are in situations where we lose sight of ourselves, our needs, our value. This can be reversed. By putting ourselves, needs and value back into the equation. In this, this weight gain is a good thing. If you use it as the way to change how you treat yourself. Dedicating yourself to you.

That is how I am seeing it. Why not think about asking your physician for a referral to a nutritionist. I have gone a year now. The weight loss is slow but I love the support.

Good for you, CB. This is the beginning of a new chapter.


New Leaf

Well-Known Member
Cali, you are going to be okay. I am going through the same thing, gained back weight I had lost and just wondering how the heck did I get back here? It's so easy to lose track with all of the stress and get into bad eating habits. Time to focus on ourselves and getting back to a better lifestyle.
Here we go, back to transformation stage, determined to get fit and healthy.We can do this! One day, one step ( or was it ten thousand steps?),
at a time. Good luck to all of us making the commitment.
You are so worth the effort. Dieting and exercise is the hard way, but also the best way to incorporate a whole new attitude towards living well.
Keep up the good work and don't be so hard on yourself.
You can turn this can I.
fluffy leafy

okie girl

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This is what I think......I think we get depressed with trying to "deal" with our Difficult Child's and eat. If I am apprehensive, I eat. Simple as that. But afterwards, I felt better before eating. Eating seems to comfort me if I am upset. Since my Achilles surgery has healed, I am going to start walking when the weather is good....but you can never know what kind of weather you will have in Oklahoma!!!


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I had slow gain for most of 12 years or more. Then a bunch of bouncing around since, with each "high" point higher than the last. Until a year ago.

Turned the tide. Had to borrow a belt this week - mine are all too big. Lower than I've been in likely 10 years or more. Energy coming back. Finally.

There isn't any real secret. The "tide turner" for me was making some decisions that majorly reduced stress levels. Note: I am not really a couch potato, but I'm not into "exercise" either... no outdoor walking beyond what the dogs need, no running, no treadmill, no bicycle, no exercise class. I'm "active" but not really in shape. Bottom line? Nothing sabotages weight loss like stress.

CB - keep trying to find a better job. Its the best investment you can make in your health.

Feeling Sad

Well-Known Member
Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence...I think not!!!

Take it one day at a time. Forgive yourself. If you are mad at yourself, you will eat more.

I started to lose weight when I started to weigh myself less. I love my scale, though. If you lean to the lose 5 pounds!!! Yay!

I used to eat all the junk food I wanted and then start a new diet 'round' at 12:00 P.M. If I 'blew' it, then I would figure that I might as well eat what I wanted until 12:00 P.M. rolled around AGAIN

Just eat moderately. If you have a lot at one meal, have a bit less at the next. I watch my carbs and try to eat more small meals instead of big ones. I also do not eat late at night. I try to walk 20 minutes a day and I recently bought a glider machine that I can use when it is wet or cold. I can watch the news or a show. It I should zero impact.

Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself. I read this saying once, "It is not what you eat, but rather what is eating you"...


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I am right there with you! I dropped a bunch of weight (without trying so I knew something was wrong). I was so happy with the weight loss but not so happy about my newly diagnosed diabetes diagnosis. I was down to 162. Once I got my diagnosis, I ended up gaining the weight back then I went crazy over the holidays and ended up at 182. :( I am now back on track and got down to 176 - many more to go - I want to get to at least 150 by summer. Anyhow, one thing I have realized is that my moods and how I feel is DIRECTLY related to how I eat. When I went crazy over the holidays, I ate the things that tasted good, but I felt really lousy. I felt tired, unmotivated, and in a bad mood. Now that I am back on track, I feel GREAT. I have energy, I FEEL better and I am in a much better mood all the time. So I know what I need to do and what I need to stay away from. It is hard, but it is worth it. :)


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I watch my carbs
Carbs - especially sugars and starches - are the fastest sabotage to a weight loss program, and are the exact foods we crave when under stress. Not having carbs available reduces intake - but increases stress, which is another major health risk. We crave carbs when under stress because carbs DO reduce stress hormones.

Carbs are also the "easiest" and "fastest" ways to eat. Pasta. Bread. Potatoes. Rice. Cereal. Pretty much every meal, we plan it around a major carb hit. Changing the way we cook isn't easy, either. (been there done that)

And if you're on THESE forums... you have major stress in your life. Trust me, I get it. I managed to reduce my stress level - but it's still sky high. I still crave carbs. I'm learning other ways to deal with stress.


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As a diabetic I am trying to learn to live without carbs. It is not easy but it really is best!
Actually, you still get lots of carbs - just really complex ones, like veggies :D
The simple carbs - sugar and starch - are the killer. Literally.

Some of the best ideas come from gluten-free diets. They have had to figure out how to keep things interesting. Unfortunately... they can still have sugar... so have to avoid the dessert recipes!

New Leaf

Well-Known Member
Watch out for diet anything with sugar substitutes, especially diet sodas.....Studies have found that diet sodas actually make us more hungry, and the body cannot metabolize artificial sugar.

I think it is a retraining of our tastebuds, too. Eating more fruits and vegetables.......

I am on a quest. I don't like being heavy, it robs me of energy.

When son is at paddling, I go walking. Rebuilding my fitness base, I try not to look at where I was at in the past, (self defeating) this is a new journey to get fit again.
Move the needle from mildly active to active.
That helps me change my eating mindset, because I figure I am doing all of this work, why sabotage myself with the wrong foods?

The hardest part is there is a regular stream of goodies coming into our office.
I have to work hard to resist.....I love sweets! :oops:
So tempting, it reminds me of this old song.......

Remove girl.....insert goodies......

So, that means I have to watch what I have at home, too.
I have to keep telling myself "Nothing tastes as good as fit feels."

Got to take this one day, one step at a time....

Have you guys heard of the 10,000 steps a day goal?

I took my Iphone on my little walk yesterday and it was 4,588 steps, 2.5 miles.
I have a ways to go............literally and figure....atively

A toast to us and our quest to be fit (raises a glass of water.......)
clink, clink , clink


Good health and good luck Cali, you got this girl.....

{sweaty hugs} ewwwww, sorry!


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I am making Atkins cheesecake this weekend...YUM!! You can still have desserts but have to make them using sugar alternatives. I have Erythritol which actually tastes really good - had it in my coffee this morning... :)


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I just feel a little bit lost and discouraged.

Okay my dear...I'm going to make you feel better by showing you how bad it could be using myself as an example. I want you to know you are very honored by my saying what I'm about to say...I do NOT share these details and Jabber may see this and I never tell him what I weigh.

I've always been heavy. Literally, I do not remember weighing less than 180 lbs and that was in high school. My all-time high weight was 328 lbs. That's right - three hundred twenty eight pounds! Jabber and I married later in life and I was already around 240 or 250 and he and I love food and we happily ate our way up the scale for years. I gained about 15-20 lbs each year. Now, some people think, "OMG! That much in a year!" But when you are already 250...15 lbs doesn't sound like much.

Anyway, we decided we had to do something and we went for it. I dug out my old WW materials and we started counting calories etc. that very day. It took me a year to lose 70 lbs. It took almost another year to lose 30 more. I lost 100 total. I got down to 228. Now that sounds fat - but at 5'10" that made me a size 16 and really, on me that looked great! I literally hadn't weighed that in 20 years.

Then my brain said, "You're done!" :( The weight stayed off for a while, but slowly it came back and now I'm at 289. I actually did hit 300 again, but I've lost a bit. I've also gained a bit, I was down to 279 in September but fell off the wagon.

My point is - it CAN BE DONE! But you can't give up! Just because I'm fat again, doesn't mean it can't be done or that I don't know how to lose weight. I even know how to keep it off - it isn't knowledge I lack, it's determination, which I'm working on finding again myself.

When I was losing before, we were very careful 6 days a week and then let ourselves have anything we wanted for dinner one night a week. There were a lot of little tricks we learned. We order one meal in a restaurant and share it - especially at places where we know the servings is large. Keep plenty of fresh fruits and veg on hand for snacks. MEAL PLAN - I can't stress that enough. If you shop for the meals you'll be cooking and keep to that then you won't be running to the store and subject to impulse buys.

Stress eating and comfort food is the biggest problem. Jabber and I have both been unwell lately - much fried chicken has been consumed. But, that is stopping and we're getting back on track.

Exercise is important, but you don't have to begin by joining a gym or running a marathon. Walk. Do little things like parking at the back of the parking lot when you go to the store, rather than near the front. Go to a mall and window shop. Take the stairs 1 flight, rather than the elevator. Walk when you're on an escalator instead of just standing. Every chance you get, take a quick walk...1 minute even. You work at a school - can you walk around the track one time (1/4 mile) before you go to your car at the end of the day? Little things make a huge difference. Slowly but surely.

He gets to do it the easy way and drop off massive amounts of weight in a short amount of time.

I HAVE to speak to this. While I was working on my last 30 lbs and struggling for every ounce - my boss had gastric bypass. She dropped like 150 lbs in the time I lost 20. I was SO JEALOUS! Seriously. I hated her.

Then I really looked at her and what she'd done.

This is MAJOR surgery. There is tremendous medical risk involved and possible lingering health problems after. And the way a person has to eat afterwards! I couldn't do it. There will be a huge change in his life after this. He'll have to change everything about how he eats and he'll have to exercise. My boss joined Curves and worked out nearly every day. Your boyfriend will have to deal with loose skin and digestive issues. If he overeats he will barf. If he eats the wrong things he'll be in pain. He has to be very sure to eat enough protein, NO carbonated drinks, no alcohol, etc., etc.

I don't mean to lecture - but do try to keep this in mind when the time comes. You feeling jealous of your boyfriend won't be good for your relationship. What he's doing will be fast - but it won't be easy.

On the up side - when he has this procedure, you will have incentive to eat properly too! After all, if he's eating a few bites of grilled chicken and veggies you won't be wanting to scarf down a burger in front of him. ;)

Take it one day at a time. Forgive yourself. If you are mad at yourself, you will eat more.

This is great advice! Think of yourself as a tortoise - slow and steady wins the race. Weight loss and good health is a journey, not a sprint.



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So many of us struggle with the same problems. I notice that the more stress I have, the more exhausted I am, the less good sleep I get, and the next day the vicious circle starts again. I don't enjoy true exercise. I used to enjoy working on my flower beds, crafty projects, home decorating, volunteering and having friends over. Now a good day is when the iPad battery doesn't run out before bedtime... I use it as a crutch... Instead of really living... Mary


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I've always carried around an extra 25 pounds or so, broke 200 while pregnant with Miss KT, lost some, gained some, did Jenny Craig, lost a lot and looked wonderful, stopped Jenny Craig and gained some back, remarried, spent 6 months on Prednisone and blew up like a freakin' balloon, steadily gained without even really realizing wake up call came last February when I became officially diabetic after being borderline for years.

I started walking, watched what I ate, and dropped thirty pounds in about four months. Then I did something to my upper back that feels like I'm carrying a backpack of rocks around, in and out of the doctor's office to find a reason, tests, X-rays, MRI, contrast dye things that made me want to yak...and I stopped walking. I've put back on about 20 of the 30 I lost. I have also developed plantar fasciitis and am in constant pain from that. I'm currently pushing 280 and I really hate it.
I have been involved with Over-eaters Anon for four and a half years this time around. There are multiple phone ,face to face ,podcasts ,etc. daily. Donations of a few dollars are accepted but not required. (

OA Program of Recovery
Overeaters Anonymous (OA) offers a program of recovery from compulsive overeating, binge eating and other eating disorders using the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of OA. Worldwide meetings and other Tools provide a fellowship of experience, strength and hope where members respect one another’s anonymity. OA charges no dues or fees; it is self-supporting through member contributions.

OA is not just about weight loss, weight gain, maintenance, obesity or diets. It addresses physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. It is not a religious organization and does not promote any particular diet.

OA members differ in many ways, but we are united by our common disease and the solution we have found in the OA program. We practice unity with diversity, and we welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. Welcome to Overeaters Anonymous. Welcome home.

Feeling Sad

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Did you know that stress makes you get belly fat from cortisol and makes your body not use its insulin as effectively. It raises your blood sugar and gives you lovely 'muffin tops' as well! Lack of sleep also messes with your blood sugar. When we are tired or depressed, we do not want to exercise; such as walking. This lack of activity also makes your sugar level rise.

Then when you are depressed, you crave sweets for a quick 'rush'. Your blood sugar goes up. You can have depression in the form of the sugar 'blues' when you crash later.

Even black coffee, with no sugar or milk, causes your blood level to spike after meals throughout the day.

I am pre-diabetic and too afraid to go be checked. I swore off of coffee and sodas, specifically diet rootbeer, as my New Years Resolution. I swore off of desserts 4 years ago, before I was pre-diabetic. It is killing me, but I am doing it. Actually, it Is hopefully helping me.

I stopped drinking diet coke in 2001. I promised my mom before she passed away. Sodas take the calcium out of your bones. She was bed-bound for 7 years with osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. She was in constant pain.

Like my dad used to say, "If I like it, I can't have it!"

During one of the several times that he had to be rushed to the hospital, I met the paramedics at the door. He was mad because they had not taken him to the hospital that had good pies! Really!

New Leaf

Well-Known Member
Mindfulness is the trendy catch word, and it is a good thing. We are so busy in this world, and with d cs, well you all know that story. Our world gets exponentially stressful.
I found an article on mindful eating, I liked it because my full-ometer is broken right now, so I have to eat with my brain, which is hard when snacking becomes an auto-pilot thingee.

Mindful eating, something to think about........

Calamity Jane

Well-Known Member
Hi CG,

Expanding on what Feeling Sad (above) wrote about cortisol, there is also anecdotal evidence that gut bacteria in obese women can play a role in the difficulty to lose weight and keep it off. Overwhelmingly, women who eat mainly white carbs and low fiber diets (for some reason this doesn't seem to apply to men) and who have a genetic predisposition toward obesity have been found to have more "bad" gut bacteria than "good" gut bacteria. That means that our fat deposits aren't broken down efficiently, and there is often a layer of omentum, or stubborn belly fat that won't go away. The cycle of nearly starving ourselves then falling off the wagon replicates itself time and again, and we lose confidence. If you've ever been on strong antibiotics, you know that they destroy the good bacteria in our digestive tract along with the bad. Poor diet along with that perpetuates the cycle of obesity. Merely adding yogurt to your diet may help, but you would need to eat tremendous quantities to get enough probiotics for it to really make a dent. Fermented foods such as pickles, kimchi, sauerkraut, etc. is beneficial as well. That's not to everyone's taste, though.

There is currently evidence that adding a good quality probiotic to the diet may play a role in weight loss along with good dietary and physical activity choices. The shelf-stable major brand probiotics are not as effective as the refrigerated brands, which are stronger. There's a brand called VSL3 which is available without a prescription, but not all pharmacies carry it - it's also a bit pricey, but I find it's worth it. It can also be ordered on Amazon. It's offered in capsules or packets, which can be taken with food, or added to protein shakes, etc. Of course, you should discuss this with your doctor prior to adding it to your diet. It's made for people, but my Vet even recommended it for my dog when he was on strong antibiotics. You can google, "Probiotics and obesity in women" and read up on it if you like.