difficult child 2 is, in his own irrational way, continuing to up the ante in the battle for control in our house. Yesterday's rage/harassment lasted almost 3 hours. All because we told him he couldn't eat the entire little 6 oz package of raspberries I had bought on sale as a treat for the family. He had taken them out of the frig and was going to take them to his room to eat and we said wait a minute. you don't get all of those.
My wife told him he had to share the berries and he said no way was he doing that. Then he tried to shoulder his way past me through the doorway and I refused to let him by. After a couple tries where he started to shove me he set the berries down and began screaming at me about how this was all my fault. The entire night he focused on trying to force me to apologize to him for causing him to act this way. And eventually this broadened to trying to force me to apologize for always doing this to him and always causing him to act like this.
After he'd been screaming at me for a good 10 minutes he started laughing and got that cunning look he gets when he thinks he has found a new way to "get" to you. He started taking food out of the frig and off the counter and throwing it in the garbage can outdoors. He took a whole box of blueberries that cost me about $5 on sale and threw them in the garbage can by opening the box and deliberately pouring them out so I could hear them bouncing around in the can.
The second time he went outdoors to throw food away we locked him out of the house. So he spent more than 2 hours harassing us from outdoors. Banging and tapping on windows and doors, ringing the doorbell over and over (we took out the battery finally), staring through the windows at us and showing us the watermelon he took and pretending to throw it at the windows.All while smirking our laughing and continue to demand that I apologize.
We finally put a sleeping bag outside through a door away from where he was trying to pry open the deadbolt. After that he began seriously trying to open the doors until he was able to rock one of the sliders off it's track enough to get the lock to disengage and proudly came indoors and informed us we couldn't keep him out.
We were exhausted and unwilling to push it to physical violence so we just shrugged and told him he had to go to his room. He refused and sat around staring at us and continuing to demand that I apologize, telling us it was our vault that he was doing these things, etc.
We ignored him and he finally went to his room.
He finally agreed to take his medications around 11 pm, including Klonopin. At 1 am he came out and took more Klonopin. At 2 am he came out and I gave him Xanax. He told me I was to wake him at 9:20 so he could get to school for his first academic class with the same arrogance he had shown all evening. As if I have nothing better to do than be his alarm clock and chauffeur.
Something about this time has crossed a line for me. I sat up for several hours crying and feeling desperate for it to be over. I found myself thinking about trying to kill him so we could be free of this torment.
I feel more rational this morning. But I think that all this is only going to get worse and worse. He is out to provoke us into physically responding to his harassment or in some way doing something that he can use that to accuse us of hurting him. That way we will be the ones in trouble and he will be able to crow that we are the "bad" ones and he is just our victim.
Rationally I know that he is just trying to get me to react. To "react" is to give control over to him.
But how far should we go in letting him destroy our home life in his distorted pursuit of "power"?
My wife told him he had to share the berries and he said no way was he doing that. Then he tried to shoulder his way past me through the doorway and I refused to let him by. After a couple tries where he started to shove me he set the berries down and began screaming at me about how this was all my fault. The entire night he focused on trying to force me to apologize to him for causing him to act this way. And eventually this broadened to trying to force me to apologize for always doing this to him and always causing him to act like this.
After he'd been screaming at me for a good 10 minutes he started laughing and got that cunning look he gets when he thinks he has found a new way to "get" to you. He started taking food out of the frig and off the counter and throwing it in the garbage can outdoors. He took a whole box of blueberries that cost me about $5 on sale and threw them in the garbage can by opening the box and deliberately pouring them out so I could hear them bouncing around in the can.
The second time he went outdoors to throw food away we locked him out of the house. So he spent more than 2 hours harassing us from outdoors. Banging and tapping on windows and doors, ringing the doorbell over and over (we took out the battery finally), staring through the windows at us and showing us the watermelon he took and pretending to throw it at the windows.All while smirking our laughing and continue to demand that I apologize.
We finally put a sleeping bag outside through a door away from where he was trying to pry open the deadbolt. After that he began seriously trying to open the doors until he was able to rock one of the sliders off it's track enough to get the lock to disengage and proudly came indoors and informed us we couldn't keep him out.
We were exhausted and unwilling to push it to physical violence so we just shrugged and told him he had to go to his room. He refused and sat around staring at us and continuing to demand that I apologize, telling us it was our vault that he was doing these things, etc.
We ignored him and he finally went to his room.
He finally agreed to take his medications around 11 pm, including Klonopin. At 1 am he came out and took more Klonopin. At 2 am he came out and I gave him Xanax. He told me I was to wake him at 9:20 so he could get to school for his first academic class with the same arrogance he had shown all evening. As if I have nothing better to do than be his alarm clock and chauffeur.
Something about this time has crossed a line for me. I sat up for several hours crying and feeling desperate for it to be over. I found myself thinking about trying to kill him so we could be free of this torment.
I feel more rational this morning. But I think that all this is only going to get worse and worse. He is out to provoke us into physically responding to his harassment or in some way doing something that he can use that to accuse us of hurting him. That way we will be the ones in trouble and he will be able to crow that we are the "bad" ones and he is just our victim.
Rationally I know that he is just trying to get me to react. To "react" is to give control over to him.
But how far should we go in letting him destroy our home life in his distorted pursuit of "power"?