Nudist stuff around an Aspie - it's much the same as any other child, it really does come down to the child, how it's dealt with and how 'normal' it is in the child's environment. I'm speaking here purely in terms of how the child reacts to it.
This reaction doesn't seem normal, under the circumstances especially. It could have been the quantity - OK, it was National Geographic stuff, I wouldn't have turned it off around my kids even though husband has been scrupulously careful to NOT be seen naked especially by his daughters. It does sound to me that several things are happening simultaneously:
1) She's Aspie, or has Aspie traits;
2) She felt very uncomfortable very suddenly, in ways she probably couldn't verbalise or express any other way;
3) At some level she wasn't necessarily trying to punish herself, so much as distract herself from both the visuals and the feelings they raised;
4) Which all means that maybe she is now beginning to have a problem with husband walking around naked, but doesn't know how to say it or deal with it.
I stress - this is just my opinion, my 'vibe' if you will.
I was possibly a borderline Aspie myself - I read everything I could get my hands on, stuff that kids just don't read these days. I really would read the phone book if there was nothing else. I would often read a dictionary. So naturally, I read every version of Dr Spock that came through the house - I had a lot of nephews and nieces who often stayed with us for extended periods, especially if they needed a bit of respite or my sisters needed some parenting classes from the resident expert (our mother).
I remember Dr Spock discussing this - he found it an interesting topic. I cannot recall which edition this would have been, I do know he changed direction sometimes completely across his writings in child care. What I read on nudity in the environment and its effect on children - they often grew up to be more prudish, more restrictive. He said it was if the pendulum had to keep swinging. A restricted upbringing often had the next generation being far more permissive, with the pendulum swinging back. So a child raised with nudity would, at some point, insist on privacy, on covering up, on modesty. But if they continued with the modesty stuff as parents, they might find themselves struggling with children who happily disrobed to play in the mud.
What I strongly recommend, at least until you get a handle on what is happening with Eris, is perhaps a modicum of moderation. She has just demonstrated a rather alarming reaction which could indicate she isn't as comfortable with husband's nudity as he might like to think.
It's sad for him, I understand the desire for freedom, but his freedom shouldn't be at the expense of ANY child's peace of mind.
I say this as a former nudist. husband & I used to regularly visit a local nude beach, in the days before we had children. Naturally we didn't go after we had easy child, because you don't expose a young baby to the fierce Aussie sun for the amount of time it took us to get to the place. It was a long way to walk, down a cliff path which would have been difficult to negotiate with a baby capsule. Then the babies came so quickly that it just never happened. By the time we would have headed back there, the kids would have been grossed out, they weren't used to other people nude and by that time, husband was paranoid about childrens' services people being called.
However, in our childless days we were at the beach a few times when a couple turned up with their daughter, a lovely girl of maybe ten or a bit less. The little girl would wear a sarong, I recall, not so much to cover up but more as a plaything. She would strip off unselfconsciously, then maybe partly cover up in her play, just as unselfconsciously. Most of her cover-up was to protect her shoulders from the sun, rather than protect her body from eyes. I remember thinking, I hope we can raise our children to be as unselfconscious. Of course, we couldn't. I also don't know how much longer they were able to manage it - they were visitors from the country, not people I knew.
One thing about nudity at this beach - it was very asexual. The people there would chat together, there was no touching, not even between married couples. Maybe a hand held out for support when climbing over rocks, but nothing more. Nobody ogled on the nude beach, but we would often be walking together back along the main beach (we had to walk past it and around the cliff to get to the nude beach) and the men would be leering at all the bikini-clad women. Nudity isn't sexy; it only becomes sexy when you cover bits up. It was quite bizarre.
But that is the effect on adults. The effect on children, I can't say. Apart from that one time with this young girl, there were never any children on this beach. I do know that nudist clubs out in the country often had whole families there, including underage children. The clubs had a vested interest to ensure the safety of the children - they were watched carefully, guarded closely.
Nude parents shouldn't be seen as abuse, especially if it is something the child is accustomed to and comfortable with. But unfortunately, if someone wants to make trouble, they will use this to do it. All it takes is an over-zealous teacher or social worker asking awkward questions. Let's say that at some point, Eris is caught up with a case of a teacher molesting a student - maybe not her, maybe someone in her class. They bring the kids in and ask questions. Has she ever seen an adult man, naked?
Or maybe not Eris - maybe at some future stage, she brings a friend home for a sleepover, and friend reports (falsely) something which alerts authorities to ask questions. It might begin with a trivial, false accusation retracted minutes later, but if it alerts anyone to the news that husband walks around naked in front of under-age girls, he could have problems.
I know that legally they SAY a person is innocent until proved guilty, but where little girls are concerned, naked men do not get much faith in their innocence. It's sad that something that truly IS innocent doesn't get much chance. But then - if a pair of undies can provide so much more reassurance to authorities, then maybe that is preferable. It would be a lot better than the upheaval which could result, if CPS get sent in with guns blazing.
Marg
