At peace.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Jul 27, 2012.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    It's been a very strange week here ......

    Background story ~ kt flew in here last Saturday & has been pretty much homeless since she arrived. Not one of her "friends" would pick her up from the airport so she hitched a ride into town. Got to town & basically had no where to stay so she stayed with the "gentleman" who is 44 & being investigated by the sex crimes unit here in town. Ick.

    Wednesday kt shows up at my door burning up with a fever of 101. Tweedle Dee was sicker than a dog & tired of living as a homeless person. She wanted to go back to West VA. I put her to bed & got her fever back to normal with a little TLC. kt & I had some very long talks about life in general and then life as she knows it. I bought her a ticket back to West VA. kt called biomonster, who asked if I would talk to her.

    I spoke with the incubator for a good 45 minutes. Listened to her whine about the "bogus charges of abuse". How could I tell kt & wm that they were abused, yada, yada, yada. My reply was to very gently tell her that I didn't tell the tweedles a thing - it was the tweedles behaviors & how they were presenting to the doctors, hospitals, Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, etc. After that, the incubator settled down a bit & asked a few very pertinent questions. I answered them however, I didn't volunteer much. She best learn what she got herself into.

    At the end of this conversation, I informed biomonster that while I was hurt and angry over how this all went down that I would no longer fight this. It's what my tweedles want and as they're so conflicted already I wouldn't add to their confusion over bio family versus adopted family. I will be here if kt and wm want to talk, but I won't feed their anger nor will I listen to their tirades of abuse and blame. Biomonster asked if she could call if she needed to know something ~ I told her yes (doesn't mean I will pick up

    In the end, I'm at peace with all of this. It's almost frightening how calm I am, and I'm not questioning it. As I listened to biomonster, it hit me just how scared she sounded, how utterly in over her head she is. I felt nothing but sadness over that. In the end, I did the hard work with kt and wm. Steve & I were the ones on our knees every night. We loved them, raised them to the best of our abilities.

    After I drop kt off at the airport this morning I'm heading to my favorite nursery to buy mulch & some new flowers for my gardens. As it's late in the season I'm splurging on some annuals & a new picnic table for my patio. I actually started a new painting. I will grieve and I will move forward.

    I'm at peace ......

  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda this is so much what I wanted for you. You and Steve did do the hard work and in the end we raise our children to leave us. You kept the door open for Kt and she knows you are there for her but she can no longer abuse you. You are in a more peaceful place because you know she is safe for now and that she can and will contact you if needed. As hurt as you are, the love you have for both Kt and Wm just doesn't leave when they walk out your door. Kt is not going to forget you either. She is conflicted right now and feels loyalty to her bm and doesn't know where in this world she belongs.

    You have done your job. It would be ideal if all our kids grew up and left home and moved and still had a wonderful relationship with us and we got to see the fruits of our labor, but that just isn't how it works many times. the best you can hope for is that she is safe and finds her way in this world. You can have a different, non-stressful relationship with her now that she has someone else to see her day-to-day side.

    I'm so glad you are at peace.

  3. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I am so happy reading this from you Linda. I havent been around much but do check in to read and have been keeping you in my thoughts and sending good juju your way in droves.

    You've done it all. Simply amazes me the lengths you have gone for your kids. I know this must be so incredibly difficult. I can't even imagine how I'd cope. I do know it would never be as well as you are handling each new development. I am incredibly proud to know you and I'm grateful your kiddos won you in the mom lottery. Even with their obvious issues, I can't imagine their issues if you hadn't been in their lives. I do hope one day they get it. Or at least get their lives together.

    Meanwhile, live your best life. Planting flowers and finding inner peace is the epitome of living life in the face of adversity. Keep doing what you're doing. And know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your kiddos too.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Linda, as always, you're doing what is best for kt and wm because you love them, because you're their mom and that's what we mom's do.

    They need to do this and sort out fact from fiction concerning biomom and their life before they started a new life with you and Steve. As I've said before, biomonster is in for a rude awakening....sounds like that is already beginning to happen. Karma, as we all know, is a witch with a capitol B. So even if biomonster's done some altering of her own memory to deal with what she did (not uncommon), it's not going to last long. The soap bubbles are beginning to pop.

    I'm glad you've managed to find some sort of peace with this process. I know it has got to be incredibly hard and painful. And I'm glad your primary focus is on you, and taking care of yourself.

    You saw where kt came when she needed help. Both tweedles know the truth, they just need to face it.

  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    You are an extraordinary woman and mother. Remember we grieve alongside you and continue to hold you in our prayers. I'm so happy you can say that you've found peace, planting flowers, something that is nurtured and grows with love, is great therapy. Hugs~
  6. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    You are the ultimate Warrior Mom.

    I'm glad that you are at peace.
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thank you for posting this wonderful update. Everyone here has hoped you would find a way to live in peace. Your future is yours. Hugs DDD
  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    You have been through so much! I am glad you feel at peace. You have come to realize that you have done all you can and now the Tweedles need to stand on their own. They can't continue to hound you until you give them the answers they want to hear. Some kids think we are here to help them make the choices they want to make instead of to guide them through the safest most secure route. You have shown them their safe way yet they have chose to ignore it and venture on their own. Someday your wisdom may shine through and they will remember that there is a better way and they will be ready to do the work to seek it out.

    Being the end of the season, you may find some great sales! Happy gardening and painting!
  9. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Linda, I am so happy to hear that you are finally at peace. The visit from kt, sick and all, seems to have brought about some of the things you needed to bring you to this point. I am glad the incubator realizes what you have done for the tweedles, at least we can hope so. You have set some very healthy limits and I know you have the strength to stick to them. You have done all you can do and as others have said, they need to stand on their own now and learn to live with their choices. It's a tough lesson but it's time for them to learn it.

    I am VERY proud of you Warrior Mom. Ya done good!!!
  10. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    God Bless and lots of {hugs} -- I am amazed by your strength and your grace.
  11. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Linda, you continue to be an inspiration to me... I am humbled by how wonderful you are as a parent, and how strong you are as a person. I saw your update and was able to smile...!

    Enjoy your peace, you most DEFINITELY deserve it!
  12. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Blessings to you, Linda!

    I hope your peace continues...
  13. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks for the update, you're doing a stellar job in impossible circumstances. I send you gentle hugs along your way.
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I don't think I could do it as gracefully as you have. I'm so happy you've found peace. Now enjoy your "ME" time, and bet that garden blooms.

    Hugs and prayers.
  15. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    You continue to be such an inspiration and role model to these children. You're an amazing woman Linda. I'm glad to see you have such a healthy perspective on everything. Peace and hugs.
  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I don't think that I could have come even close to the grace you are handling this with. Big hugs, Linda.