Summer is killing me already. My sig says it all (I just updated it). I pretty much had a sobbing breakdown today. I have the kids from 7 am (6 am on Thursdays and Fridays), M-F, and Saturday afternoon through Sunday evening. So yeah, with my husband and myself most of the time. The granddaughter is delightful and easy, sweet, fun, and my little summer buddy. The boy, though, is creating such havoc that we are all suffering stomach pain, sleeplessness, and feelings of impending doom pretty much constantly. The grandson has been unmedicated for about weeks now, just for some time to get some weight back on him. The stimulants (we've tried four) are suspected in the his increasing anxiety, explosiveness, and just general mean-ness. I can take the hyperactivity, but the mean-ness I just can't take. And the horrible cursing, hitting his sister, trying to hit me, kick me (along with anyone else that tells him "no" or asks him to do anything like brush his teeth, take a shower, anything at all that perturbs him or he feels is a demand of any kind). He was suspended 10 days last year, six days came in the last three weeks of school. His school has pretty much given up on him as far as asking him to do any schoolwork at all. No friends (they are scared of him, but there are a couple of brave souls that keep trying), can't participate in any summer camps, no sleepovers with friends, nothing. He was in an anxiety group, but made the rest of the kids so anxious that after the eight week program was over, they don't want him to return because of his eating paper, saying weird stuff (how his father was trying to kill him with a knife. While his father is a scary, intimidating, large man with anger issues--the doctors say he's "terrifying," he's never taken out after Difficult Child with a knife), and creating chaos. And this is while he was on the latest stimulant. He's now been registered into a social skills group for eight weeks. And he's maxed out his mental health visits with Kaiser, so they are referring him out for weekly sessions elsewhere. So, we are trying to hang on as long as possible to get him back to some kind of baseline and let him catch up in size. The's gained three pounds in those three weeks, and has grown nearly an inch. He physically looks so much better. He's actually hungry and sleeping. The doctors said to take him off the stims because it doesn't seem to be helping, and they felt that it might be making him worse. We wanted to see if the meanness would go away without the stims. The doctors have supported this for as long as we can take it. Like I said, the hyperactivity, verbal diarrhea, lack of focus we can handle (we know that won't fly for school in September), but the meanness, threatening me, kicking, throwing things hard until there's property damage, hitting his sister, I cannot handle. At all. I've had to "contain" him almost daily until he comes back to himself. We have Intuniv at the ready and my hands are itching toward the bottle. I've searched the forums here and like all medications, there pluses, minuses, bad reactions in some, works for others. I'm just venting and writing this out blog-style. I'm wondering if we've done him a disservice by taking him off the medications. I sure would welcome any thoughts, sympathy, a slap upside my head--whatever. Thanks, and I hope your summers are going well.