Becky fell apart....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by carolanne, Mar 18, 2008.

  1. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    She was sitting in civics about 20 mins ago and just burst into tears. Her teacher just called and said she is sobbing her heart out with the guidance counsellor and Ms. Evans( the teacher) said she will drive her home afterwards. She asked if it had anything to do with difficult child and I nearly lost it myself but managed to **** back the tears and tell her very calmly what has happened.

    Ms. Evans taught difficult child as well and remembers her. She said she was a difficult student and tried to help but difficult child is just one of those kids who will most likely only learn through hard knocks. She said she wasn't putting her down in any way and I know she wasn't. This woman constantly went to bat for difficult child and always stood in her corner....still does as she kept track of difficult child when she switched high schools.

    I put a call into my therapist and he's agreed to see Becky tomorrow....suggested I bring Kate as well. He said she is the one who is bottling the most as she keeps everything in while Becky will explode constantly until she gets it worked out.

    And I am sitting here fighting the urge to go rip difficult child's head off her shoulders and shove it where the sun don't shine and kick her boyfriend straight into the river with a cement jacket on....there, now I feel a teeny bit better:)

  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    While I feel bad for Becky that she lost it in school, I think she was very fortunate to have had such an understanding teacher right there with her.

    Good on you for getting her in so quickly for help, and good idea getting Kate in.

    I completely understand your feelings to want to take this out on difficult child & boyfriend. Perhaps you could benefit from talking to someone as well?

    Big hugs to your mommy heart.
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Becky was so fortunate to be near people who understand her and were supportive and called you so fast. I'm so sorry that she's suffering so and I'm sure she must feel a little embarrassed at losing it in class - :sad-very:

    Hugs to you and your girls.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I know this is hard - but NOW would be the time to look at Becky and tell her that she needs to remember HOW her sister made her feel. You can forgive someone and move on, but it's good idea to keep in your "brain file" how a person made you feel. You think you may not be likely to forget, but sometimes it just takes a person to say "Forgive but don't Forget" - it can save a lot of heartache later for Becky.

  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Becky is obviously taking it hard. But I'm worried about Kate who keeps it inside.

    I'm glad you're taking the girls to see your therapist. A wise move.

    As for difficult child, next time your temped to waffle remember this with the girls. It will help steel your resolve. There have been moments when recaling the pain and anguish stepgfg's running off caused on her sibs that has been all that's held me back from hunting her down.

    My kids don't deserve to be hurt so badly again, and neither do yours.

    Maybe someday we'll hear from stepgfg. Who knows? But I doubt it will be until she's cleaned up and straightened up. That can take a loooooong time.

    Sending ((((hugs))))) for you and both your girls.
  6. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Pook kid. Hopefully, the therapist will help her get through this. What our problem kids do affects so many more than they realize, sometimes more than we even realize. It stinks to love someone so toxic sometimes.

    Hugs to all of you.
  7. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    So sorry for your family situation. In that nasty email your difficult child wished she could hurt her sisters, not knowing (and better she doesn't realize) that she already has. Hope the therapy will help your girls work through their grief and hurt at their sister's actions. {{{{HUGS}}}}} to you all.
  8. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    The girls are home from school and we've been talking a bit.

    When we sat down, I told them"this feeling you have, this awful, gut clenching, ripping feeling, remember it. You can forgive but don't ever forget."

    I don't like to see them hurting but maybe this is the road we all need to go down in order to totally seperate from someone so toxic.

    In a way difficult child was right....she's never been part of this family. She always seemed to put herself on the outside and blame others for that. I can remember many occasions when we would all want to go to a pond nearby and she'd whine and cry about going and when the rest of us went, she would complain about not being with us when we got back. It was like that no matter what we did....swimming, library, name it.

    I don't feel anything right now....and yes, I am included in tomorrow's appointment as well. But I am tired of talking about it. I just want it to be over although my gut tells me she will try something else.....

  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    The whole situation hoovers. It is so hard when one of your children hurts the rest of your children.

    Glad Becky had a compassionate teacher on hand when she lost it. Taking her to the therapist, along with Kate, is a wonderful idea.

    You might also consider Alanon for Teens (AlaTeen, I think). It ccan be very very helpful.