My nephew was murdered earlier this week. My heart is just breaking. I sent my son a private message to let him know about his cousin. My son has posted some things on FB about this that I don't like but he's free to post them. The person who killed my nephew has yet to be arraigned as he is on suicide watch. What my son posted was in regard to this person to stop being a coward and to face the music. I did not respond to it. Again, he can post what he chooses. By my informing him about this it has opened up some dialog. He told me he wants to change his life and wants my help, not monetary just advice. We have been conversing a little bit via private message on FB. I'm glad that we are communicating but I go into it with my eyes wide open and am very guarded. While talking to my other sister about my plans to fly out to attend the funeral she inquired about my son and wanted to know if I thought he would want to be there also. It was one of those deer in the headlights moments for me. She said she has seen some of his posts on FB and can tell he's hurting. I told her that I too have seen some of his posts and can tell he still has some anger issues. She backed off as she knows how difficult it has been for me with my son. If my son wants to be there then he needs to figure out a way to get there. I want to be there to support my sister and really do not need the distraction of my son being there. My emotions are all over the place. I'm glad to be chatting with my son but I'm just not ready to see him or interact with him in a family setting, especially at such a difficult time. It's times like this that I get those feeling of being a terrible mother. I know they are not warranted but they are there all the same.