ElizabethL
New Member
This board looks like a good place to start.
Upon turning 13, my child's behavior has gone from difficult to scary.
My child is displaying clear signs of sociopathic tendencies. Everything from liking to cause himself pain, to enjoying and laughing at others in pain, causing others pain, manipulation, lying, stealing, complete lack of empathy, and the laundry list goes on. Most of this, he's had quite some time, but everyone attributed that to hormones.
Yesterday, he pulled a kid's hair until the kid cried. He was promptly given an in-school suspension, and I got a phone call. The school is concerned following a conversation with my child about why he did it (because it was funny), and recent evidence of cutting (surface scratches, and he admits to doing it on purpose), and informing them that he hears voices in his head. My child won't talk to me, he says it's too personal. Forcing him to talk to me only results in me getting what he thinks I want to hear, even though I call him on his bs, he doesn't stray from his fabricated responses.
I have a meeting with the school on Thursday to discuss the situation. I know it will be more of them talking at me about how they feel about the situation, and not really looking for my input on the matter at all (which is how our phone calls have gone).
The thing is, he's gone through school mandated counseling before, and he fully manipulated that situation. He was given a puppet for a year and a half, and he had fun with it. It didn't help him at all, if anything, it taught him more manipulation techniques. The counselor was fully informed of what he was doing, and assured me that she had experience with this, and he was making actual progress.
I go through the state for health insurance. Here, the primary care physician has to be on the insurance card in order to see that physician. So, when I find a doctor, and the doctor tries to diagnose my child as ADHD, which he is not, and ignores every other red flag, I find it's in our best interest to switch doctors. This is a 30 day process, with calling the provider, switching the PCP, receiving new cards, setting up a new patient appointment, and so on. It's not something that can be handled over night, but I know it's necessary to find the right doctors.
The school is now involved again, and I don't want them to be. I understand they have to be because he's hurting other children, but I don't see their involvement as a positive thing. A month ago, following him having an outburst in class where he called his teachers "Stupid B....es", we were informed that he will be expelled if he continues to display such behavior, and if he doesn't pass this year, he's not coming back next year due to being too old and too big to repeat the 6th grade again. They said this in front of my child, and so now all bets are off because either way he's not going to be in that school, it's only a matter of when they kick him out. They don't care that home schooling is not an option, and there are no other schools in this area (I don't drive). I can't not work, and I can't leave him home alone because I don't trust him alone. Hiring a babysitter would mean finding a second job to cover the costs, which would leave no time for him, and then I lose his health insurance because I'll be making too much money.
I blame myself for not reading the warning signs sooner. I feel like I should have known it was more than a phase, more than prepubescent hormones, and that he would not just grow out of it. I feel stuck. And alone. My child is broken, and I don't know what to do for him.
Upon turning 13, my child's behavior has gone from difficult to scary.
My child is displaying clear signs of sociopathic tendencies. Everything from liking to cause himself pain, to enjoying and laughing at others in pain, causing others pain, manipulation, lying, stealing, complete lack of empathy, and the laundry list goes on. Most of this, he's had quite some time, but everyone attributed that to hormones.
Yesterday, he pulled a kid's hair until the kid cried. He was promptly given an in-school suspension, and I got a phone call. The school is concerned following a conversation with my child about why he did it (because it was funny), and recent evidence of cutting (surface scratches, and he admits to doing it on purpose), and informing them that he hears voices in his head. My child won't talk to me, he says it's too personal. Forcing him to talk to me only results in me getting what he thinks I want to hear, even though I call him on his bs, he doesn't stray from his fabricated responses.
I have a meeting with the school on Thursday to discuss the situation. I know it will be more of them talking at me about how they feel about the situation, and not really looking for my input on the matter at all (which is how our phone calls have gone).
The thing is, he's gone through school mandated counseling before, and he fully manipulated that situation. He was given a puppet for a year and a half, and he had fun with it. It didn't help him at all, if anything, it taught him more manipulation techniques. The counselor was fully informed of what he was doing, and assured me that she had experience with this, and he was making actual progress.
I go through the state for health insurance. Here, the primary care physician has to be on the insurance card in order to see that physician. So, when I find a doctor, and the doctor tries to diagnose my child as ADHD, which he is not, and ignores every other red flag, I find it's in our best interest to switch doctors. This is a 30 day process, with calling the provider, switching the PCP, receiving new cards, setting up a new patient appointment, and so on. It's not something that can be handled over night, but I know it's necessary to find the right doctors.
The school is now involved again, and I don't want them to be. I understand they have to be because he's hurting other children, but I don't see their involvement as a positive thing. A month ago, following him having an outburst in class where he called his teachers "Stupid B....es", we were informed that he will be expelled if he continues to display such behavior, and if he doesn't pass this year, he's not coming back next year due to being too old and too big to repeat the 6th grade again. They said this in front of my child, and so now all bets are off because either way he's not going to be in that school, it's only a matter of when they kick him out. They don't care that home schooling is not an option, and there are no other schools in this area (I don't drive). I can't not work, and I can't leave him home alone because I don't trust him alone. Hiring a babysitter would mean finding a second job to cover the costs, which would leave no time for him, and then I lose his health insurance because I'll be making too much money.
I blame myself for not reading the warning signs sooner. I feel like I should have known it was more than a phase, more than prepubescent hormones, and that he would not just grow out of it. I feel stuck. And alone. My child is broken, and I don't know what to do for him.