Biofeedback Ignorance....mine

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DDD, Jul 10, 2009.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    difficult child who is ADHD, AS and has (allegedly) a personality disorder lives with GFGmom this year. He is not as stable as he used to be. From what I hear thru the grapevine he displays verbal threats and feigns physical threats. GFGmom does NOT "get it". She does not oversee his medications as "he is 18 now and doesn't need to be babied", she threatens "to call the police OR (with maternal benevolence) to drive him directly to mental health intake in a neighboring county". Good Grief.

    When I quietly explained to her that you couldn't Baker Act someone who was neither a threat to themselves of anyone else "what to X am I suppose to do?" I suggested she take him for a ride in the car, get a coke and let him talk himself down. She did that and then made an appointment with the neuro/psychiatric who did the last evaluation.

    After his lst counseling session Tuesday I was told "she said that when he came in he was a 12 but by the end of the session he was a 4". What does that mean in relation to anger?

    Yesterday OMG, difficult child tells me "the neuro/psychiatric wants me to stop taking my stimulant medications and start biofeedback at her office two or three times a week". I said "what did you say?" difficult child said "I told her NO way. I have been hyper all my life and I can't function with-o those medications."'s my ignorance showing. I am aware biofeedback exists and is used. I know that it is very expensive. I know that this new neuro/psychiatric has "the machine". difficult child said "she wants my Mom to do it too". Smart idea, lol.

    difficult child is sliding backwards. His GFGmom is NOT getting him to our house for the bus to the college most days. I honestly think she can't handle the job of parenting (never has been able to, in my humble opinion) and it is easier to leave difficult child home sleeping as she waits for disability to roll in. :mad:

    Any input on the biofeedback? Voc/Rehab might pay for it. Can it be done in conjunction with stims? She (neuro/psychiatric) wants him to have EEG to see if he might be having absence seizures. Too much. Too fast. I'm pooped. DDD
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I don't know why he would need to stop the medications to do biofeedback. He can do biofeedback at home. Several companies make machines that can be used at home. My mom had one back in the 1970's, for crying out loud.

    Is it possible the neuropsychologist is just wanting to pay off her machine? Why is he seeing a neuropsychologist for therapy and not a psychologist or MSW for therapy? I have never heard of a neuropsychologist who did weekly therapy. Here they ONLY do testing, it is what they are best trained for, in my opinion. The neuropsychologist who saw Wiz in the psychiatric hospital refused to do therapy because he was not best trained for it - he was trained to give and interpret testing.

    I think you are right about gfgmom. Is there any way to get him to come back to your home? Otherwise he will flunk out of college. I think gfgmom is just unwilling to give him the support he needs because it means work for her.

    I will see if I can find any info on biofeedback and machines that help. I know the stress erasor manster uses is a form of biofeedback.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Here is a website with all sorts of different machines to use for biofeedback. They even have computer programs for it. Some of the ones further down the page are as low as $80.

    Here is another site:

    I don't know anything about these companies, but they are surely not as expensive as repeated visits to any therapist.

    Here is an ebay search for the word "biofeedback". It includes used stress erasors for as low as $34.99, though it IS an auction.

    As you can see, even paying retail you can get various biofeedback devices for far lower prices than the np is charging. I think the np is trying to pay for her new machine. Just in my opinion, but telling someone with lifelong hyperactivity to stop taking medications that work is just not intelligent.

    Sorry he isn't doing well at gfgmom's. It sounds like a recipe for disaster if he is violent or threatening violence. Maybe if you point that out he will come home to your house?
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the "feedback" :rofl:.

    Sorry, I couldn't resist!

    After all these years I am surprised to be confused about who does what with these multiple issues. The NP was hired by Voc/Rehab to do the last full set of tests so I guess GFGmom thought of her first. It's like walking an electrified tightrope trying to "co parent" with GFGmom. Yikes. DDD
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I still wish the boy would get bored over there and come home. Cant easy child talk to him and convince him he would be better off at home? Maybe the gaming system is better at your house or something.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Heck, if a gaming system would convince him to move home it would be worth it to try to save up for a Wii, in my opinion. At least it would be easier than co-parenting with gfgmom!
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    GFGmom is focused on his disability payments, doncha know? He also "helps" clean house which her SO (nice guy, low key, hardworking) does complain about. She's a piece of work.

    by the way, I managed to get him into a "Bridge" program (totally free) at the local community college with bus pickup and delivery at my house since GFGmom lives outside the city. GFGmom is letting him "sleep in" so she doesn't have to drive him to my house on her way to work. We always
    get him back to her house shortly after the bus drops him off here (if he wants to go). The program only last six weeks and is suppose to be an indicator or whether he is prepared to take a few regularl classes this fall on the college level. She let's him opt to sleep (probably doesn't wake him up) so he has missed three days in 2.5 weeks.

    It's driving me NUTS! :mad: The only REAL issue that difficult child has with our house is that it is too quiet...and :sad-very: easy child being loud when he comes home drunk. I have a real issue with that one too. on the other hand, difficult child was moving forward with his life when he was with us. I hate to see him slide down. Whine. If buying a game would solve the problems..I'd do it. DDD
  8. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    A few years after I got out of college I was dealing with extremely high stress levels due to some unresolved stuff from my past. The counselor I saw had an interest in biofeedback. It was a simple digital thermometer with a sensor attached to my finger to register body heat (which increases when relaxed). He used a tape with spoken words to help me learn the technique of relaxing my body and focusing my mind and then gradually backed off the tape. It worked great and gave me a tool while working out those issues. I think I used it for about 9 months and then backed off the biofeedback all together. I have a freind who went through it recently who is dealing with anxiety stemming from health issues that are causing her to have balance issues. It was a more modern version using computers. Both of us had good success and would do it again.

    It's so ludicrous to stop medications (if they're working and/or are indicated with his diagnosis) before starting biofeedback training that I'm wondering if he misunderstood.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD...maybe this is another time where you do that thing you did so well years ago with the "GFGmom, I know you are busy and it takes so much time to drive difficult child over here. Why dont you work on the disability stuff and let difficult child stay here so he can catch that bus. You can still get that money for him and his home will still be at your house but he will just be here to catch that bus."
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Janet, lol, you remember it almost word for word.

    Problem is that difficult child (now 18) does not want to live at my house. He told NP "At my Mother's house I am not part of a family. I just stay in my room. At my grandparents it was my home and my family. BUT I don't want to follow other people's rules now I am an adult. At Mom's I can do what I want to do...and I like that."

    Hmmmm.....I'd like to do what I want to do all the time too. ;) Cripes, I would settle for a few days a month! DDD

    PS: This NP has diagnosis'd him as schizoaffective disorder rather than AS. In general the prognosis appears to be dimmer and I keep weighing how long I should try to advocate, guide, steer. If I play the lottery and win, I would move away and pray from afar that somehow there is a happy ending.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good Lord. I think Mommy has him fooled. There are rules at Mom's too he just doesnt realize it.

    How do you get from AS to Schizoaffective? Seems like a big jump to me. A mighty big jump. Oh well, I think you have done what you can if he wont let you do anymore. These boys are putting you through the wringer.
  12. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I used neurofeedback (a form of biofeedback) myself, with good results for anxiety and insomnia. I was on antidepressants, and was told NOT to change anything... but that at some point, I might be able to go to a lower dose of them.

    Here's a good site with info on neurofeedback: