Life is long, life is not fair. The road sometimes has sunshine and clouds. Living with a son who has bipolar and multiple mental illness issues is never easy and always a challenge. We are going on 9 mos. now, with my 29 year old back home with us AGAIN! I have lost count how many times this is..... He came back from yet another state, another living situation, broke, lost his car and without his medications. Sigh. I could write a book. It would at times be a comedy if it wasn't so sad. Living in a winter state, where sun is not out a lot and its cloudy snowy or rainy does not help. This last job lasted 8 mos. We thought he was doing well Got back on his programs with his psychiatric., his medications, his doctors. was doing seemingly well, and then 2 days ago all fell apart. He got in an argument with a manager and he walked out. Day 3 holed up in his room in the dark, watching his Netflix. I guess when the money runs out he will have to cancel. Honestly I have tried everything, tough love, turning him away, putting him in the hospital mental ward, yadda yadda yadda. It goes on. I understand a lot of things but I don't understand a few. Spending hundreds of dollars a month on various medications and psychiatric. appts, why is it not helping? We have been doing this since he was 13. Originally he started with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and depression and was on Prozac. Then it escalated. He was diagnosed with ADD, and also some small psychosis. There is no small psychosis. You either have it or you don't. Paranoid, the neighbors are weird, the guy on the corner is in the KKK. this house is NSA, turning off cell phones because they are hacked, it goes on and on. How do I keep my sanity? Most of the time I ignore him and tell him his imagination is running wild and just stop it. 9 mos. ago he was on the phone crying to me, to please let him come home. He had no where else to go and a shelter he went to he got robbed. So I relented and said ok. We laid the law down and within a month he got a job and we had a productive summer. Now back at 1.5 yrs ago when he had a breakdown. Yes this is no life for me and my husband we are now semi retired. We are afraid to leave on vacation when he is like this. So once again we have to have a pow wow at the table and try to talk it out. I am almost giving up on my son. It sounds sad, but I have come to the realization that he will do what he will do and no one will stop him. I just don't know when that will be. I told him, you know what, if you are planning to leave this planet, don't you dare do it in my house! Don't bite my hand for feeding you all these years one final time because that is like a knife in my heart. I cannot do anything else for him. I have to save myself.