I'm learning a lot about taking care of me now difficult child is home. Am on phone so I apologize for no caps, etc. last Thursday, i woke up and checked alarm report. difficult child brought car home at 1 (it has a curfew). Then he came back at 2. Then my doors opened and closed off and on until 615. difficult child had to be at work at 10. Two issues...driving with little sleep and having ppl over in the middle of the night. deep breath. Call sponsor. Talk to difficult child. He said Ben came and they played Xbox. Ben forgot phone charger. They went to get. Ben smoked on deck. Makes sense. Plus I woke him up and he had little time to create lie. new rules. Cars curfew is 12. I put alarm on then. difficult child doesn't have code. If difficult child wants to sleep here, then he better be home by then. Alarm is off when I arise. if difficult child wants to take car next day, difficult child must have slept beforehand. That decision is mine alone. difficult child is unaware I can check cell records plus FB messages on my phone will let me know how long it has been since he was active. he tried to push me into caving the first two nights. Didn't work. he has stayed at bens apt. since this happened. Comes over during the afternoon and evening. They just met so I figure soon Ben will tire of driving him home and feeding him, etc. ive learned that sometimes this stuff gives me the chance to take better care of me. I like this system better. At 12, when I know car is here and alarm is on, I'm safe. I need and deserve that. Sure, I wish difficult child was in bed but that's not my call. I do believe he is playing videos at this guys house. All the facts line up. But...if he isn't, then the consequences are his. If he has car, then I can be sued, etc. may sound selfish but it is self protecting. he did quit job last week at my request. Was driving 35 miles for a 2.5 hour shift. He was unhappy and frustrated. Not worth the cash. Has looked for something close but nothing yet. He's better when he is employed because he has such lousy self esteem he needs to have something to identify with. detachment is an ongoing process. But it is easier when they aren't around as much.