I haven't posted a lot in a while so wanted to share a brief update about difficult child and me. He's still working. He's about 8 to 10 weeks into this job. He's still homeless. His girlfriend who may/may not have stabbed him is out of jail (out a week now) and they are back together. Gfriend got the stabbing charge reduced to a misdemeanor and all of her charges bundled together into 11 months, 29 days probation on diversion, which means if she doesn't get into trouble for that long, her record will be expunged. difficult child said he "tried to tell the DA she didn't do it, but they wouldn't erase the charge." It doesn't really matter if she did it or if he did it to himself accidentally. They were both drunk at the time. The whole thing is not good. I am trying to relax into this as the "new normal." I don't understand it, and it's often surreal and bewildering, but it is reality. It's good that he is working (I guess) but that doesn't seem to have changed much for him so far, except he is buying a lot of motel rooms for himself and girlfriend. difficult child's dad and I have told him we will pay his rent for the first month. The other day, in a rush, I blurted out that I would buy a tank of gas, after he said he was thinking of getting his car fixed. I also told the mechanic to cap the charges at $350, without difficult child knowing, and I will pay the rest. So....I have offered and done a few things to make the way a little easier, but difficult child still has to do the heavy lifting and have his skin in the game. That hasn't happened. I'm thankful that I am so super-busy right now that my down moments about difficult child are few. Mostly when I'm really tired. Or when it's storming outside. Or when it's cold outside. Then I start thinking about where is difficult child? Is he okay? And then I just start praying. That is really all there is to do. My birthday was Sunday. On Saturday I FB-messaged difficult child to ask if he would like to go with me, SO, easy child and fiancee to the movie the next day. No response. I drove by the places he goes Saturday and Sunday and didn't see him. On Tuesday afternoon he left me a vm saying he was sorry he forgot my birthday, and then a FB message saying the same thing yesterday. You know, that is really not an issue, although it would have been nice for him to join us. He is going to be off the grid with girlfriend until who knows? Yesterday I went by the day shelter to talk with the social worker there about difficult child. I asked her if she's seen him or if he's been in with the apartment information (they are going to help him with deposits). She said she saw him once but he hasn't been in to talk with her anymore about the apartment. She told me more about the girlfriend---all not good. She is a very troubled girl and has been in a lot of trouble already for just being 19. The social worker said "we all love difficult child here, he's kind, quiet and doesn't cause trouble. I hate to see him with her." Then she said girlfriend has been banned from the day shelter. So....it's like RE's post about her daughter, and it's like life is for everybody. People take a few steps forward, and then they take a few steps back. I do that too. With my life, and with my work on myself. It's impossible to sustain a totally forward movement all the time. As so for difficult child. He is with this girl for now. I wish he wasn't, but he is. I just have to accept it, and let it all go. He is a 25-year-old man and he is living his life. I have offered help and he doesn't want it right now for whatever reason. I just want to be free of judgment, accept him, love him and be encouraging. I'm working on it.