I hate mental illness. I really *really* do. It's like chasing your shadow. We advocate, we educate ourselves, we do our darndest, but it's not necessarily something we can ever "fix". I lost my perspective. I want thank you safe and I want the TLP to prepare him for life. What I forgot is that you can't make mules drink, even when they're dying of dehydration. And it's not the mules' fault, nor the TLP's - it is what it is. This is not a pity party. I'm really just very angry at myself for having so completely lost sight of what is in thank you's best interest, as opposed to what's easiest for my peace of mind. And I don't understand why I accept Boo's disability and *never* rale against it but I have such a hard time accepting thank you's. Maybe it's because thank you can be so "normal" at times and I just want to reach in and grab that part of him and staple it in place. Maybe if Boo could walk and talk some days but not others, I'd have the same hard time with his disability. I don't know... I really truly and totally hate mental illness.