Child talks to himself????

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TLK, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. TLK

    TLK New Member

    My son just turned 13 and does this. It also sounds like he is carrying on a conversation with someone in the bathroom. He talks when he plays video games and he has trouble making friends. Like he does not know what to say or do to start a friendship. He is fine at home and around people he knows. He also has some friends at the new school ( which I am happy about) and his old friends. He always he says he does not care when we tell him he needs to stop talking to himself. I do not think he is aware of this. I relate it to being a tic. My husband does repetitive things when thinking as does my daughter, she twittles her hair all the time( she is 20).
    But lately I have found out he does this in class.I read somewhere this is called verbal hyperactivity and when your overstimulated you do this to relieve stress which he did just start middle school this year. I also hear people think he is weird which makes me feel bad because he is the sweetest most helpful kid. He gets straight as and his teachers like him. I hate for him to be labeled and I want to help him control this behavior. He was bullied in Elementary School which is ironic because he is a blackbelt in karate ( earned last year) but still no respect but he would never brag about that.
    Anyone have any ideas to help modify this behavior or a similiar situation.

    Thanks for listening. TLK
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi TLK, actually I think a lot of us would love to talk with you. I am going to withhold my comments becasue this is an old thread and you will likely get many resonses if you copy and paste this into a new thread..... You may also want to hit the settings button and create a signature so as people respond they will have a refresher of your situation! Welcome and hope to see you in your own thread!
  3. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest

    TLK, I split your post off into a new thread which makes it more likely that your situation won't get tangled up with the thread you were responding to.Welcome to the community.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi again TLK, could you tell us a little more about his earlier development. You say he has social issues and this talking out loud. Does he say novel things each time, like a conversation? Or is it repeating things that he has memorized or his own statements over and over? Sounds like he is very bright. Does he have any other symptoms, like anxiety, depression, learning disabilities (which do not mean of course that he would have problems in school, he may have learned coping mechanisms to push thru them)

    How was his play with kids when he was little? Has he ever had like... a best friend? does he do parties or phone calls etc? There are kids who have a speech/language issue which is simply a social communication issue or a "Pragmatic Language Disorder". It is a symptom that can overlap with people who have other issues like autism etc, but it sounds more like he may just have this social communication part. Does he make eye contact normally? Does he appear to be shy?

    I know it can be really heart breaking when you have a child who is "different" in some way. IF this is really his only issue there is a ton of hope for helping him, that is, if he wants to change it. Do you think he really doesn't care or just is not super aware of how different this sounds to people? Do you think it could affect him in his future... like when he wants to interview for a school or job? He may need some time in therapy either with a Sp/Lang Pathologist or with a Psychologist or counselor trained to work on social skills depending on the reason for the skill deficit. Have you done any of that with him? If you have, sorry...just offering ideas.

    Just asking questions in case someone in our group can relate to some of your concerns.

    Not sure if this applies at all from the little we know you so far but just sharing:

  5. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I don't know the particulars, but I talk to myself a lot. Well, a lot less now than I used to. I get so caught up in the thoughts in my head that I don't even realize I'm doing it - or even recognize my surroundings. As I got older, I would catch myself after the fact, and be almost surprised to find myself at work and embarrassed because I was talking to myself. (I can't think of a better way to explain it. I obviously knew I was at work, but I would get so caught up in my head that I would forget where I was.)

    I've been doing it more lately than I had in a long time - and my stress level is through the roof at the moment, which may explain it. My daughter will ask me what I'm talking about, and I just tell her that I'm "thinking out loud". That really isn't it - sometimes I'm replaying scenes in my head, or thinking about what I might say or do if X, Y, or Z happens, but I'm totally lost in my head.

    Don't know if this is relevant or helpful at all.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    LOL, I do too. My son gets soooo mad (of course he can say /do anything) but he always asks me who I am talking to. But compared to this poster, I do not have social issues, can control it in public (would never have done it in school in a class etc)... it is more alone time or when driving and reliving a recent communication with someone ... I ruminate on things... think of what I could have said, plan for next time etc.. sometimes I just go thru it.

    Sounds like this situation is a little different though.... not really a difficult child-conduct disorder speaking, but certainly a child who has some differences and many of us can relate to some of the issues he is facing I suspect.
  7. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I've done it at school, work, grocery store, just about everywhere at one point or another.... I don't know if it's at all the same, but thought I'd share. I also have trouble with social stuff, but have gotten better over the years. Still not comfortable, but can manage, as long as the other person does most of the talking. :)
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    That is really cool (Not really the right word, didn't mean it was cool that you struggled) but it does sound like your situation is more like his.... you might have more insight on how to support him. Did you get teased etc. for it??
  9. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Yeah, sometimes a kid would say something, but until the 10th grade I always lived rural and went to small schools and the other kids didn't tolerate that. Everyone knew everyone. I also acted like I didn't care (even though I did) and no reaction isn't fun for those trying to provoke one. Plus, I was pretty and smart and even though it shouldn't be that way, you seem to be able to get away with more.

    I was one of those kids who liked learning in school (even though I said I hated it cause that's what you're supposed to say), but hated the social part. I hated assemblies, pep rallies, lunch time. I would leave early or find a way to skip assemblies. My senior year in high school, a girl told me (not being mean at all) that everyone thought I was stuck up, but that I was just really shy. It wasn't called "lack of social skills" then. You were shy.

    So, in that respect I may be of no help at all. Today, I really don't care what people think, and I really only cared when I was younger because it highlighted my "differences". As I got into high school, I started to (consciously) embrace my differences. It helped.