Janet & Nomad are so right on the addiction issue. I researched it thoroughly after one of my doctors said something about me being addicted. I finally worked out that his definition was not the standard one and he was wrong.
In Britain they actually give people with severe pain heroin, so they can cope. It's usually people with terminal cancer, but they found that with the pain under control the heroin helped them actually live an active, productive life without the problems we associate with addicts. One woman I remember seeing interviewed on a documentary on the subject - she was hanging out the washing and moving around really well, in the final stages of cancer that would have had her doped up on morphine, if she hadn't had heroin available.
I've been in chronic pain for 22 years. I've learnt a lot of what to do and what NOT to do. I live as active a life as possible, but I also have legs that give way on me sometimes, especially when I put my weight down on them hard without bracing my joints first to not collapse. My doctor saw me getting around in my usual shuffle and told me - "You've been given crutches - use them. If you don't you will ruin your joints and have osteoarthritis before you're fifty."
I use canada crutches - the ones with the elbow cuffs and the handle to grip - because I can use one, or both, as I need. I can relax my leg muscles a little more and not stress my joints so badly. Using the crutches I walk more normally. I got myself assessed by an Occupational Therapist (OT) to make sure I had the right tool for the job.
Pain medications - never expect them to eliminate the pain entirely. I've found that if you do, you then get the side-effects of the overdose 'wooziness' etc. I take enough so I can function. And yes, as the pain persists long term, the amount you need will increase. It happens. Take what you need but stop before you feel groggy. You will soon get a f eel for what you can tolerate.
Another important thing about pain medications - if you have pills where you have a choice to take two pills every six hours, or one every three, and you are in A LOT of pain, take two. Then, if you have successfully knocked the pain back to tolerable levels, take only one pill six hours later and see if you can maintain on the lower dosage.
Basically, really bad pain (such as when you wake up after a night of no medications) often needs to be hit hard and then maintained.
Keep an eye on the basic ingredients of what you take. For example, NEVER go over 8 x 500 mg of paracetamol in one day. Keep it lower for long-term use as much as you can. And when you get bloods done, get your doctor to check your liver function. Some pain medications can knock some people's livers more than others.
The best bit of advice I got from one of my doctors - keep a diary. Don't write much per day, just what you took, when you took it and anything important. Score each day from 1 to 10. Keep the record. If you're getting a drug reaction, the record can help. That's why the doctor wanted me to do it. But I found - it also helps you to NOT have to hold this info in your head, you can get on with living and not obsessing.
About driving the car - check into getting it fitted (and you trained) with hand controls. If you're not sure enough about your foot, then use your hands to do the same job. If you get better you can take the hand controls out.
And one last piece of advice from a long-term fighter - DO THE BEST YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
Print it out on cardboard and live by that. Some days you will feel ghastly and want to crawl into a hole; other days you will feel a bit more charged. Don't feel bad about what you can't do, just count up all the things you CAN do and succeed in doing and put them down as notches on your belt.
For me - I've got to be a big mess before I can't use the phone. And you can get a lot done over the phone. I often have to work from my bedroom - I have my laptop, the radio, the TV, a DVD player and the phone. I can even see the front yard from my window and get an advance warning of visitors. I drive an electric scooter to get around, I've even taken it right into the heart of Sydney. When we were on holiday in Queensland we flew it up on the plane to the Gold Coast - free. It is the same for me as walking round the place. I get to say "G'day" to everyone in the street which helps me feel more alive. In my scooter (or back when I used a wheelchair) I could hold the hand of one of my kids and 'run' with them, hand in hand. It's the only way I've ever been able to do it, with my younger three kids. They have no memory of me before disability.
Oh, and one more thing about canada crutches - ANY crutch or walking stick made of hollow aluminium - if you take it to the beach and go paddling, make sure you tip it up and empty it out before you get back in the car. They can ship a lot of water!
I'm still a Warrior Mum and a fighter. I've been a charity president, an advocate for a number of issues, a community representative - all sorts of things. I've been interviewed on TV and radio. I've had two kids since becoming disabled. I've published books. I teach. I write.
The best therapy for the inevitable depression is to write. Put your feelings, your anger and your grief down on paper. Own it - you're entitled. But as you do, recognise that the day will come when you will be through it. That's when you realise you still have a lot more than mere existence - you still have a great deal of life too. Only now, you're walking slow enough to spot the four-leafed clovers.
Hang in there, take what you need to feel in control.
Marg