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PatriotsGirl
Guest
Could also be very therapuetic (sp?) to do this....my thoughts are with you!!
Could use some board power in advance of this coming Thursday
- Thread starter Mattsmom277
- Start date
You have been on my mind all day. I hope it went very well and that you found it a helpful, or at the very least not a hurtful experience. I am so very proud of you for standing up and speaking your truth. You iwll always know that you did your best to prevent him from having other victims. That is HUGE. You are a wonderful and very courageous woman and I am lucky to have you for my friend.
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
Mattsmom277
Active Member
THanks again everybody. I'm home now, was there about 3 1/2 hours. I think I did good. The detective was beyond nice and walked me through it all, asked the right questions, raised the right points, left me feeling there was nothing left unsaid that I felt could be or should be important. It was draining, I cried a lot but not the ugly cries, I was able to speak even when crying. He assured me when finished that it went great and he was satisfied that if used in future for court, all the ducks are in a row and I was detailed enough to leave nothing unsaid without being overly talkative, didn't go off point etc. (A bad habit of mine, so felt good to hear he felt I stayed on topic and focused throughout). We discussed how something huge like this doesn't involve a overnight arrest, it requires tons of investigation across various cities and towns, and he isn't even sure who is going to end up with jurisdiction. I was aware that would be the case anyhow but it helped that he didn't try to pretend this would be a cake walk. I ignored the camera and just refused to think about it, which helped me I think. The list of follow up investigations and who they need to get into interview rooms now is so long. I know this will take time, and who knows what the outcome will be. It will be eye opening on who clams up and won't open up to investigators and who will help this process. For today, I'm glad this beginning part of mine is over, and each time it will be less nerve wracking I am sure. He asked why now, why me. I said the why now is because now the picture is complete, we all finally know about one another and how large the scope of his decades of abuse is and we didn't before. Also that once he spoke as he did to me on facebook I felt the others might finally come forward and speak their own truths. The why me, I said if not me, who? That too many of us weren't able to scream it from rooftops over the years, and look now how long his list is? And he continues even NOW to offend over and over. So why me? Because I was the first to go to police all those years ago and wasn't heard. I feel now I can be heard, and that my voice should no longer stand alone. His list is long. Also why me? Because I am a mother, I feel protective. Because my baby sister deserves protection so many of us didn't have. Because he currently lives once again, with a new younger woman who has her children in his home. He asked what I wanted to happen to him. That was a tough one. I said he needs to be in jail. If he ever is out again free, he needs to be a registered sex offender and no longer be allowed around minors and be monitored for the rest of his life. I wisely left out how I don't care what happens to him in specific terms, just that one way or another, he can never hurt anyone again.
I made it through is the bottom line today. Hopefully the ball is now rolling. Hopefully one day I'll get the call that he's been picked up and be told the list of charges. For now, I know I did right. For now that has to be enough.
I made it through is the bottom line today. Hopefully the ball is now rolling. Hopefully one day I'll get the call that he's been picked up and be told the list of charges. For now, I know I did right. For now that has to be enough.
Marguerite
Active Member
This may have stirred stuff up, but because you were doing something constructive with it, keep telling yourself tat you have taken control back and you can't be hurt by him any more.
You did well!
Marg
You did well!
Marg
mstang67chic
Going Green
I haven't been online the last couple of days so I missed this but...
Great Job!!!! You did something that a lot of people are unable to and you did it wonderfully. Hugs and I hope the process is as short and easy as possible.
Great Job!!!! You did something that a lot of people are unable to and you did it wonderfully. Hugs and I hope the process is as short and easy as possible.
You are an amazing, inspiring woman. I am so PROUD of you and PROUD to know you! It is HARD to stand up and speak about this stuff. I haven't been able to tell even my mother everything. husband knows more than anyone else and is super supportive, but it is HARD to talk about this stuff.
I am sorry that he is a predator who seeks out children and sorry that you and your sister and others you know were hurt by him. This is a HUGE thing you are doing and I am glad you are finally being heard. If no charges come from this, please know that you have done so much already to try to stop him.
I hope he gets a VERY long prison term where ALL the other inmates know what he has done. ALL of them. I also hope that once this is over - the court part - that his victims are able to celebrate surviving knowing him and move on to happy healthier lives. It isn't something you "get over" but it is something you can move on from. But until you have had treatment and he has met some kind of judgement, it is hard to do that.
I am sorry that he is a predator who seeks out children and sorry that you and your sister and others you know were hurt by him. This is a HUGE thing you are doing and I am glad you are finally being heard. If no charges come from this, please know that you have done so much already to try to stop him.
I hope he gets a VERY long prison term where ALL the other inmates know what he has done. ALL of them. I also hope that once this is over - the court part - that his victims are able to celebrate surviving knowing him and move on to happy healthier lives. It isn't something you "get over" but it is something you can move on from. But until you have had treatment and he has met some kind of judgement, it is hard to do that.
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Oh, Mattsmom, you are wonderful! You did an awesome job! I am so proud of you. Your work will help so many other people, as you well know.
The gov't takes its time investigating, but once he is arrested, it will go quickly. That's the beauty of it.
Many, many hugs and many peaceful nights for you.
The gov't takes its time investigating, but once he is arrested, it will go quickly. That's the beauty of it.
Many, many hugs and many peaceful nights for you.
Mattsmom277
Active Member
I'm so grateful for the support and kind words from all of you. I am trying this morning to stop allowing myself to notice the lack of .... well anything ... from the other players in this situation. I came here and read again all of the kindness from you all and the understanding and I am feeling so extra appreciative for each of you here on the board. Thank you all!
Last night I thought I'd toss and turn as I've been doing for days, waking early about 4-5a.m. But instead I fell asleep quickly and woke rested when the alarm went off. I guess the anxiety was more than even I was able to see, I sure valued that good rest!
Today I'm going to focus on planning my S/O's party for next Friday. He has 2 more final exams today, 2 more on Monday, then he is finished. His graduation ceremony is Friday afternoon. My small family are all attending and S/O's mother and brother are driving to town for the day. I'm planning a small reception afterward at a party room I've booked at my cousins building. So today I'm going to plan the menu, make some calls since others said they'd bring a dish or two if I wanted some help, and maybe venture to the party supply store to find a few decorations. I am looking forward to celebrating yet another graduation for him, he's worked so hard, I'm so proud of him. Great timing too, it is something so incredibly positive to focus on today and the coming week. I have the feeling he is going to be winning a couple of awards at his ceremony as well, he's really done well in a very difficult program. Even more impressive in that this school and this particular course here at this school, has a very good name around the world and attracts all kinds of international students as it has a accreditation that similar programs at other schools do not give out. Going to enjoy this distraction after a very intense few weeks.
Sadly, my baby sister removed me from her contacts online last night. I know in my heart it is her mothers doing, and I know somehow and someway I WILL have her in my life (even if I have to wait until she's older). But in the meantime, it hurts deeply and the loss feels profound. Focusing on my S/O's accomplishments is going to help a lot to avoid getting caught up in more deep emotions.
Again friends, thank you so much. Your caring and support is beyond measuring. xo
Last night I thought I'd toss and turn as I've been doing for days, waking early about 4-5a.m. But instead I fell asleep quickly and woke rested when the alarm went off. I guess the anxiety was more than even I was able to see, I sure valued that good rest!
Today I'm going to focus on planning my S/O's party for next Friday. He has 2 more final exams today, 2 more on Monday, then he is finished. His graduation ceremony is Friday afternoon. My small family are all attending and S/O's mother and brother are driving to town for the day. I'm planning a small reception afterward at a party room I've booked at my cousins building. So today I'm going to plan the menu, make some calls since others said they'd bring a dish or two if I wanted some help, and maybe venture to the party supply store to find a few decorations. I am looking forward to celebrating yet another graduation for him, he's worked so hard, I'm so proud of him. Great timing too, it is something so incredibly positive to focus on today and the coming week. I have the feeling he is going to be winning a couple of awards at his ceremony as well, he's really done well in a very difficult program. Even more impressive in that this school and this particular course here at this school, has a very good name around the world and attracts all kinds of international students as it has a accreditation that similar programs at other schools do not give out. Going to enjoy this distraction after a very intense few weeks.
Sadly, my baby sister removed me from her contacts online last night. I know in my heart it is her mothers doing, and I know somehow and someway I WILL have her in my life (even if I have to wait until she's older). But in the meantime, it hurts deeply and the loss feels profound. Focusing on my S/O's accomplishments is going to help a lot to avoid getting caught up in more deep emotions.
Again friends, thank you so much. Your caring and support is beyond measuring. xo
